"The Lord of the Rings" (book review)

Do I really need to review this book of books??
I have just spent about 2 to 3 months of my life reading it.
It was worth every moment.
A book that hints at eternity, Good Things, and a complete world in our imaginations.
I first was introduced to this book by my sisters (I think it was Plonie who lent me a copy), back in the early 70s - and I have reread it several times - this is not to boast, but to get across something of how a book can have a very strong relationship with its reader (the Bible and Koran are of course the ultimate examples of this) - reading it for nourishment, comfort, adventure, inspiration...
The thing that struck me this time "through" (apart from the completeness of the vision, which always grabs me) was the language.
Tolkien loved language, and as many of us know it was his love of ancient languages which led to creating a story to explain his own languages (esp. Elvish).
Reading LoTR, one is struck by how real and rooted the names of things and people are - this is in contrast to many other fantasy novels, where the names seem fake or shamelessly borrowed from other religious/mythical sources.
The language does indeed shape the cultures, characters and even the story itself.
The book is a trusted, valued companion, and if you have never read it before in your life (no matter how old you are), at least give it one go, before it's too late (...set aside time though - as I said, it took me about 3 months, but I am asuredly a "slow" reader!).

G.

"Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" (movie review)

Chemo day is my "wagging" day.
I currently have a very early stat time, so manage to get out to the movies round about 12 or 1pm.
I have decided I NEED this time - chemo throws me out of whack for the day and I am not much use to man or beast once my pump is on and the fluorourocil is wending its way thru my bloodstream.
At the risk of me falling asleep, Andrew C, my regular "chemo-buddy", and I, aim to take in a movie.
Enough back-story! - we went, we watched and we wondered...
I thought this move, as a cinematographic experience, was stunning.
It is smoother, defter, more sophisticated than the previous 5, and if you know the plot background, you will thoroughly enjoy it.
In particular I loved the acting, the set design, the photography and the soundtrack (no longer by John Williams - he's probably on perpetual holiday by now - living a life of luxury with the royalties from all those Spielberg and Lucas soundtracks - probably comes out of retirement to write an award-winning 8-bar tune starting with a perfect 5th, then slips back to Hawaii)...
Michael Gambon as Dumbledore has steadily become much more than a bearded Gandalf-substitute...there is depth in his characterisation, but I won's say any more about Dumbledore, as there are surprises in store.
Yes, there is some sense of "waiting for the end" - inevitable I suppose.
But it's a thrilling, scary, funny, and highly enjoyable wait.
Don't take kids to see it - too scary!

G.

"Starlight Express" (review)

A good night out.
Good family entertainment, if you can afford it (mercifully, I was spared any info relating to the actual expense of this night out)...
The music is good, not great.
Andrew Lloyd Webber knows how to create memorable musical moments and use them well.
Verdi or Puccini he is not.
The story line is very basic - trains racing against each other - and eventually the good guy wins.
The main difference between the Vector production and the West End production is that in the West End the trains (cast) whizz around over your head, whereas at Vector they perform amazing acrobatic feats on a thrust stage and 2 half-pipes - very impressive.
Very little acting is required - it's all stereo-typical characters, tho enjoyable - Lord Lloyd Webber's pastiches of popular musical styles over the last 5o years (c'n'w, hip-hop, gospel) is highly enjoyable.
My favourite bit was the 3 hip-hoppers - quite a gutsy, muscly song, underscored by some very impressive body-popping and break-dancing.
Tho Poppa, the gospel train, was very impressive with his rendition of "Light at the End of the Tunnel".

If you really want to be moved, I recommend getting out to the concert version of Madame Butterfly (hopefully the soloists won't disappoint), or sit at home with some good Verdi (Otello is going thru his self-doubt/lack-of-trust issues as I type - it's heart-breaking!).

Just by the way, tomorrow at MRBC Fred and the elders will be praying for me and "my" cancer...if you would like to add your prayers to theirs please do!

Service is at 10am and lasts no more than one and a half hours.

Love to youse all,

G.

A Busy Week

Tired.
Half way thru Chemo.
12 weeks to go.
Starlight Express, Harry Potter, parents' evening...
Smell of chemo fading now.
Looking forward to bangers and mash.
Winning (what?)
Space around everyone.
Energy low.
Battery in need of a recharge.
Plug into power.
G.

Chemo no. 7

Gidday.
Yesterday at assessment the doctor said my cancer indicators had gone down to 620 (920 at previous assessment).
I'm not sure how these things are measured, but they are proteins in the blood containing cancerous elements.
Anyway, if this is the rate of decline, that seems like good news!
Today was pretty good - chemo at 8, Harry Potter at 1, Star Trek at 5, Boston legals at 7.30...
I am finding I need to really chill on Chemo Day.
Lois cooked a delicious dinner for us tonight!
Last night we took students to Starlight Express - pizzas, transport and show paid for by ANZ.
The equivalent of my department's annual budget gone in one evening!
I will review SE and HP in due course.

G.

ROADKILL (account...)

So last night was the global premiere of my latest show - ROADKILL.
A song cycle (15 songs) with slide show.
Thanks to all who came - hope you enjoyed it!
Thanks to Linda McG and helper again for hospitalipublicity...
And to Ian M for the great slide show (Romanian set particularly moving)...
To Alex vW for operating the slideshow effectively and smoothly...
To Michael B for wonderful sound mixing as ever...
To Aaron A for keeping an eye on the technical stuff,,,
Dave M for bass and enthusiasm...
Mike C for some subtle and some strong and always yummy guitar solos...
To Jo McG for beautiful, sensitive vocals and excellent harmonies...
If you came, what bits did you enjoy?
What recommendations do you have for future development?
The vision is to take this into any venues/situations where people would like it, but I would need someone to help co-ordinate an itinerary.
More people to help with the singing could be fun as well...
I had many favourite bits myself...enjoyed being a journalist, a doctor and a priest...

Ain't it cold???

G.

Crossing Cultural Boundaries...

A little bit of Sufi Senegalese singing to get us going in the morning (Youssou N'Dour, "Egypt").
Followed by Jimi Hendrix asking that age old question, "Are You Experienced?"
Off to Royal Oak drycleaners (if anyone knows of a closer one to where I live, please let me know!) to a soundtrack of Split Enz "Mental Notes" (their first ever album, which is one of 2 pop albums I still have on vinyl - a gorgeous gatefold sleeve, now with an autograph of Mike Chunn on the label).
Back for lunch, then off to the dress rehearsal of "Dido and Anaeas", which Viva Voce are performing tomorrow night and Tuesday (and that's the reason I went today - tomorrow I have my own gig and on Tuesday I am off to Starlight Express with 140 students!).
Soundtrack for the car trip was Bruce Springsteen's "Nebraska" (this marked an acoustic departure for him - I like it, but my favourite album is still "Born to Run").
If you are in Auckland and not already booked in for my show or Staerlight Express, I thoroughly recommend the Viva Voce gig - the music was flowing well today, there are some lovely pieces of staging, and the soloists are aurally, and visually, gorgeous!
Also, the piece is a classic, and has to be seen/heard at least once in your lifetime (another reason for me to go!).
Real Groovy followed on and I picked up CDs by Miriam Makeba (now dead, first lady of South African pop - gorgeous voice), Liszt and Schumann songs, Jamoa Jam and a new group called the Temper Trap ( a bit Arcade Fire).
After sitting down with the usual fare of Studio 60 and Boston Legal (started on Black Books yesterday - a gift of the 3 series from my sister, Carla), coming to the blog with Beethoven serenading me with violin and orchestra.
Today's top 3 then - Purcell, Beethoven and Makeba - rock on!

G.

Thursday's child

Funny thing.
Yesterday I saw Mike O'Donnell in school - Mike used to be a DP at school, and now works with New Era, a company that looks after our computer network.
And today I saw John Heyes, who used to be a DP and now is principal of Mangere College...
Super Twelve lunch time we worked on "Because" (Beatles), Mad World (Tears for Fears), Da Da (a German effort) and Strange Fruit (Billie Holiday).
Band after school we launched into our Abba efforts - Dancing Queen and Waterloo (to which we will add Take a Chance on Me and Thank You For the Music.
Interesting to see what the students know and what they don't know...
Sent one of my year 11 students, Joshneel, to the grand piano in the hall - the canteen ladies (canteen backs on to the Hall) gave him a free muffin for practising a Chopin Nocturne.
Sound surreal? I haven't finished yet!
Went to Alexander's school to find out about options next year...A is pretty set so far on IT, Spanish and Chemistry (he certainly doesn't get the IT or Chemistry trend from his Dad).
We have a daily sanity test in our car pool collective - if we forget who's car we are travelling home in we fail the test (we have all failed from time to time, tho I think Theo is probably the sanest in this respect)...today it was Kerry's turn to forget to come to Theo's car...tomorrow we start all over again.

Now I have finished...

G.

"Youssou N'Dour - I Bring What I Love" (movie review)

This is a film fest film recommended to me by Peter B, Head of English at O.C.
It's about the Senegalese singer Youssou N'Dour, and deals specifically with the release of his album "Egypt", which sparked huge controversy in Senegal when released in the month of Ramadan (N'Dour is a Sufi Muslim, a sect to which 94% of Senegalese belong to).
The movie is an inspiration to musicians, particularly those working in the area of "religious music", and much of what N'Dour says about his work could as easily apply to Christian musicians (musicians of any faith in fact).
N'Dour comes across as a sincere, devout and visionary musician, albeit with a humble and humorous self-disregard (at one stage he comments that he still feels like a 15-year-old when he talks with his father!).
The footage of N'Dour visiting various concert halls, mosques and markets is filled with colour - Sufi Islam is a colourful sect, judging by the costumes we see on display!
We see clips of concerts and interviews and political events - my favourite moments were the concert in Fez (an amazing concert hall, with N'Dour bedecked in wonderful silk outfits, all very warmly lit in the colours we would expect in Morocco, plus footage of N'Dour singing in the early 80s with Peter Gabriel when-he-had-hair (yeah, look who's talking!).
But the real star of this movie IS the soundtrack.
One day I would like to find out how these Arabic orchestras work - the sound is amazing, there appears to be a combination of formality and improvisation - whatever it is, the music is transcendent, deep and uplifting.
Not for everyone, but for those wantinmg to explore "otherness", absolutely rewarding.

G.

What happened yesterday?

Hi.
Tried to blog yesterday but my Government Issue computer was playing up (no, don't get me going on the Government).
Yesterday my principal, Gil, returned from UK and USA.
He gave me a Van Morrison T-shirt (probably closest I'll get to a gig!).
Thanks, Gil!
Performed Roadkill to my home group - scary and good.
Today, school as usual.
I love school - I missed it over the hols.
I mean school with the students in it!
Taught 2 year 9 classes - body percussion lesson - terrific!
ROADKILL is this Sunday at 7pm at Mt Roskill Baptist Church.
Admission free - though I will invite donations for Westpac Rescue Helicopter.
Roadkill takes about 45 minutes.
It is based on the story of The Good Samaritan.
The performance will be followed by a Q and A session, followed by a free supper.

G.

Comfort/discomfort

Comfort from being warm in the house.
And with a close family that loves me and each other.
And friends that mean no harm - only good.
And music that raises the spirits and speaks warmth.
And a book which encompasses many things (Lord of the Rings).

Discomfort from a "pre-nauseous" feeling....
And the taste memory of the chemo.
And the smell of the chemo.
And the weight of the pump and the pipeline.
And the cold.

Another day, another hospital visit

This time to check on Alexander.
I am getting to know my way around Auckland Hospital now.
Alex will have his left arm cast off in 2 weeks.
He is not to do PE or vigorous activities for another 8 weeks (from today).
The wrist is healing well.
The wire in his right elbow is holding well.
Needs to keep away from vigorous activity, however.
The waiting time at hospitals can be unbelievable.
At least at Starship they have TVs everywhere.
A little boy next to me had a book on ants.
When he left for his appointment I picked it up.
Did you know that carpenter and army ants don't build nests - they build bivouacs, using themselves as the walls and ceiling!
Amazing....

G.

ABBA

Abba are groovy, funky and cool.
30 years on their music is as fresh as it was when first made.
The key to success?
Great tunes.
Sometimes the lyrics are, let's face it, on the naff side of Eurovision.
What is Fernando actually about????
Answers on the back of a postcard...
And is there anybody out there actually named Chiquitita????
I am sure that given another decade, ABBA would have found themselves failing literacy standards at NCEA level whatever....
But the TUNES...clever, catchy, sufficiently challenging...
They give Mozart's melodies a run for their money (, money, money...)

G.

half way there...nearly...

Blood test in the morning.
Meet'n'greet the American relatives (minus Wayne, who arrives next week).
Back to the homestead to pick ip homemade hummus, carrot cake and orange juice.
Over to Laingholm to play Abba Sing star.
And have a wonderful lunch with frshly baked focaccia.
Back thru the rain, home again, home again.
Then off to Ak hospital for pre-chemo check.
Doctor sees me for 5 minutes - cancer markers still going down.
No side fx.
Funny to be plunging into the toxic stuuf again tomorrow if I actually feel okay...

Ah well....

G.

Fridays

Cat curled up on my lap.
Martini soaking its way thru my system.
Reaching the bits not reached by the butter chicken.
Santoor - best butter chicken in Auckland?
Children away for the weekend.
Lois and I talking about various things.
Beautiful weather today - some outside work done.
Watched one episode each of Studio 60 and Boston Legal.
Just read some depressing correspondence between education minister and PPTA President.
Chemo pack arrived from Sarah in Wngtn today!
And so to bed...

G.

"Elegy" (movie review)

Ben Kingsley and Penelope Cruz are superb in this.
A French (Canadian) movie set in New York.
At least 3 people facing their mortality.
Slow paced, with close ups.
A soundtrack supervised by the director (Isabel Croixet)...worth buying!
(Bach, Vivaldi, Latin jazz, contemporary composers).
A script which hits the authenticity button.
Deborah Harry (her from Blondie) as a widow.
...something about Ben Kingsley...
you need to be wide awake to watch this movie...challenging and rewarding.

G.

"Night in the Museum" 2 (movie review).

Great imaginative ideas.
I love the art works coming to life.
And the scene between Ben Stiller and "Brundon".
And the octopus.
And the accapella Jonas brothers voicing cherubs.
And the sculpture of the Thinker coming to life!
Amy Adams is a treat to watch - full of enthusiasm and joy.
All the characters are there from Museum 1, except Dick van Dyke and Mickey Rooney.
A fun soundtrack.
Will probably spawn even more sequels...something to watch again to catch the details you missed first time.
GOOD FAMILY FARE.

G.

"Terminator Salvation" (movie review)

Action from start to finish.
A guest appearance by Arnie in a crucial moment.
For afficionadoes only.
Features time travel concepts that make "Back to the Future" look simple.
Wonderful explosions.
Matrix-type concepts of trapped human beings.
Good for the boys to see!
Very few still moments.
Soundtrack okay...corny motorbike heavy rock sequence.
Watch this only if you've seen the first 3 Terminators!

G.

N.C.E.A. - my views

I warned you some time in the past that I would write about N.C.E.A., so if you aren't in the mood for a political debate, feel free to skip this blog...

NCEA is a poor assessment tool.

The main reasons for this are:

1. The system was poorly implemented - when introduced, only 4 days of training were provided for teachers to come to grips with the new system through workshops - and the facilitators of these workshops seemed as lost as the teachers.

2. Internal standards are anything but "standard" - in every department of every school, teachers constructing their assessment tasks are virtually reinventing the wheel MANY times over - there are very few standards with assessment tasks that moderators have "approved" - and in many cases in the early years the standards displayed on Te Kete Ipurangi (basket of learning) were DIScredited by the moderators.
So, if teachers can't use standard tasks, and get "hit on the head" when they create their own ones, we are all in the dark, and standardisation is a figment of our imaginations - and THEN people actually try to coax STATISTICS out of "results" - go figure!

3. The system rides on the backs of the underpaid and overworked secondary teachers - not only do we teach, we now have hours and hours of paperwork to fill out to meet compliance requirements - stuff we were not trained to do, aren't paid extra to do, and are berated for not doing well by MOE, NZQA and, apparently, "the media" (and the PPTA didn't fight this workload issue nearly hard enough when it came up).

4. Why do we have assessment at a national level?
Many reasons, but officially surely it is to measure individuals against some standard criteria, and be able to compare the achievements of one to another.
NCEA fails to do this, due to its lack of standardisation.
It could be argued that we don't need national assessment at all (there are very civilised countries where it doesn't happen)...
BUT if we buy into national assessment, let's get robust exams happening, where students know what they are expected to do, teachers know what they're expected to teach (for the exam), and tertiary institutions/employers have a set of results that actually stand for something.

5. Some may say "but achievement standards facilitate flexibility of assessment". No. What they do is impose a different set of assessment criteria on the teacher's process - in fact, they clog up the system and make it very difficult for a teacher to get his/her class through a course without saying "this is towards achievement (or unit) standard so and so" - in fact, our courses have become MORE rather than LESS proscribed in these post-school c. years.

6. Communication between NZQA and the "normal" classroom teacher is appalling. Mostly we hear of things through memoes, which may or may not be passed on by our NZQA liaison officer...there are no meetings, elusive consultation/review processes, and rumours of changes to be made.

I believe more and more that we should scrap this inefficient and iniquitous system, and bring in a robust set of exams...Then teachers could get back to teaching, students to studying, and examiners to examining...and if we wanted to be REALLY liberal, we would get rid of National Assessment altogether.

Ah well, that's that off my chest, I suppose...

Thank you for reading, those of you who lasted the distance!

Gerald.

Living Life to the Full - 10 tips

Hi.

This blog is a response to a request from a friend to give some input into a teaching session on living life to the full.

Without meaning to teach anyone how to suck eggs, here is a distillation of my wisdom so far.

Feel free to feed back with opinions/questions/criticisms/witticisms/etc.

Gerald.

5 BIG TIPS

1. Don't be scared....

The opposite of love is not hatred - it is fear (often expressed as hatred).

Don't worry!

Don't be anxious, nervous...

Fear is the Devil's weapon (a way he has of keeping us trapped and struggling).

Use the weapon of Love!

2. Love!

Love yourself.

Love God.

Love your "neighbour" (i.e. everyone else!).

Love strangers (no ref.to "stranger danger" - but a way of conquering fear).

Love your enemies...

3. Share!

Nothing in this world is exclusively yours - not even "your" self.

Not sharing creates thirst for power.

Leads to greed.

Possessiveness.

Fear of losing that which isn't ours....

4. One Day at a Time...

We cannot see beyond each day with absolute certainty.

One day you may be living in a palace.

Next day it may burn down.

One day at a time is enough to cope with (still, make good plans!).

One day at a time is enough to share and enjoy.

5. Life is a Gift.

Not a trial.

Not a punishment.

Not a test.

A yummy, delicious, special, colourful gift that comes from God.

With a purpose and an adventure and a taste.

Enjoy!

5 DAY-TO-DAY TIPS

1. Don't forget your "manners".

Enjoy saying "please", "thank you", "sorry"...

To someone.

If to God,that becomes a prayer.

If to others, a way of building relationship.

If to self, a way of accomplishing wholeness.

2. Good Food

Never eat food just because it's there.

And enjoy every mouthful.

And if you don't like the taste, why struggle with it?

Stuff that looks, smells and tastes good to you.

Whether you be vegetarian, carnivore, honey-and-locusts afficionado...

Drink comes under the same heading.

3. Good Music (and Books)

Feed the body, and feed the soul.

Music touches the parts that other delights can't.

Books kindle our imagination and sense of adventure.

Both are a way of inspiring, an avenue for the imagination, a channel for emotions.

And both offer a way of structuring our lives beyond the here and now.

4. Good Adventures

Every day offers us the chance to go exploring.

Often we want to stick with what we know.

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit...

But sometimes even hobbits walk out through their front door.

Getting up in the morning CAN be an adventure!

5. Forgive...

Don't take anger or bitterness past the sunset...

Life is to short to carry forward the hurts of one day into the next.

Forgiveness brings wholeness to you, freedom for your "attacker" and restoration to a relationship.

Let the burden go!

As we forgive, so we are forgiven.

Well, that's a few things.

There a many more tips and stories in the Bible...I don't do these things every day, but I do aspire to live by them...

They are not written in stone, but in one's life (one hopes!).

Hope they help.

Love,

Gerald.

From cloud 9 to cloud 8

Me panicking is not a pretty sight...

Hmm...always wondered about the letter "k" in that word.

I panicked at 6.30am this morning cos my chemo pump fell off!!!

What do you do?

Well of course I'd been told about 8 weeks ago, but I couldn't remember what to do...

I yelled to Lois (a lot)...see, when the pump falls off, the fluorourocil keeps pumping out...and it is cytotoxic which means if it touches your skin it attacks it and kills the cells...so you need to be very careful...

and try NOT TO PANIC!!!

(shades of Corporal Jones from Dad's Army?)

"Lois, get the phone number... the pump's fallen off! it's leaking!"

In one of those bizarre states of stupor, Lois attempts to remember the plumber's name/phone number...

Finally realising I am panicking about myself and not the state of our plumbing, L fetches wallet.

Contact made with oncology ward, ambulance drive in Lois's car (yes, Lois, finally an almost-justifiable reason to SPEED!)...

all sorted and back to teaching.

still in clouds...

tomorrow busy...end of term shennanigans with Dawn Chorus, staff farewell, end of term Music assembly, rehearsals, moderation prep, pump officially taken off, pub meeting, sleepover...

and the holidays are looking pretty full...still, they are MINE, ALL MINE....heeheehee....

blogs will continue as unusual...

by the way, A has his cast off his right arm (elbow fracture)...wrist cast coming off in another 4 weeks...

he is of course overjoyed at being able to go to school and write!

Love,

G.

...a quick one while she's away

good day.

Friendly nurses.

still buzzing from yesterday's news.

all is good, all is God.

Earth, fire, water, air....

God created them all, and speaks thru them all.

Night in the Museum 2 is GOOD FUN!

Rangiputa or not?

"Roadkill" 26th July at MRBC...cds available...

and possibly the 2nd sermon I've given in my life....

Goodnight,

G.

CT Scan results

Today Lois and I discussed the results of the CT scan with Dr Thompson.

The fantasic/marvellous news is that all tumours have shrunk.

Those in my liver have shrunk "remarkably" (Dr Thompson's word).

Those in the abdomen have shrunk less markedly, but are still shrinking.

And the "cancer markers" (the protein released by the actual cancer into the bloodstream) have been dropping with each blood test, unusually, as a slight "whoosh" was expected at the start.

One thing that was amazing for the doctor is the chemo started 7 weeks after the bowel op, so actually some growth was expected, and it didn't appear to have happened.

The other amazing thing has been the noticeable lack of side effects from the chemo.

Wow!

Hallelujah!

We are celebrating tonight, except both kids are decidedly under the weather, so it is rather more subdued than I would like...

Thanks to the people who have given me "health supplements", those who have prayed/encouraged/etc., health professionals...

And to God be thanks...

So...where to now?

Keep up the prayers please till the little b.....s have totally disappeared from my system.

Chemo continues.

One-day-at-a-time continues.

After this course of chemo (remember I'm only a third of the way through it) we watch and wait...and hope and pray...and hopefully have saved some money for a nice holiday!

Other great news is that Sophie got a distinction for her Grade 4 piano exam!

Hooray!

Live each day well!

Gerald.

"Untouchable Girls" (movie review)

I saw this with my friends Richard and Ruth, 2 chemoes ago, at the newly refurbished Capitol in Dominion Rd.

I have not been a fan of the Topp Twins, but I am now!

Lois and Kerry recommended this, and I thought R'n'R would find it at least interesting - they did.

The Topp Twins have a remarkable gift for bringing their audience into a state of excited, blissful unity - so it was a pleasure to see the live performances of recent years as well as archival material from the 8os (and 70s?).

Their childhood in Huntly brought memories back for me (Ruth whispered: "What's a calf club day? And why do they have it?) - I lived in Huntly as a 6 and 7 year old (and tried to run away from it twice!!).

The 80s political stuff - arguably some of the ugliest years in recent NZ History, but the ToppTwins in the thick of it and veritably floating over the garbage of it all (Mururoa, Springboks, Bastion Point, Rainbow Warrior) to bring us joyous and uplifting songs/performances.

The cancer stuff - me sitting there cradling my chemo pump and watching Jools go thru her chemo, and surviving!

The role-playing - the two blokes, and the Camp Leader and Camp Mother...

The interviews with the Topp parents, AND the Topp partners...

The horses...

The discussion of sexuality, and seeing how an audience is united by the twins regardless of all that stuff...

All in all, a joyous, uplifting and socially relevant movie.

Long live the Topps!

G.

'Twas the Night Before CT...

What to expect?

What to hope for?

As Lois often reminds me, there's no point in worrying about things...if it happens, worrying won't stop it happening, and if it doesn't happen that will also be a waste of time.

To, um, put myself "out on a limb" here, I am praying for nothing short of a miracle...yeah, while I still can...and I would GREATLY appreciate if you could join with me in prayer for the same...

I would love this miracle to begin to manifest itself in the results of the CT scan (in case you need reminding, my scan is at 10am tomorrow at Green Lane)...

Now, clearly, if I am begging/pleading for a specific miracle, am I going to be disappointed/cheated/etc. IF it doesn't happen?

Yes! And then no...

Yes, because on a human level, I want life and I want it abundantly and I want to see my kids grow up and get married etc. etc.

No, because of God's love and the simple fact that we all have to shuffle off our mortal coil some time and NOBODY gets to choose their day of death (yes, I know this opens up debate on suicide/euthanasia/abortion/etc.)...

Yesterday I received a T-shirt from Richard Dormandy, reading "I am the way the truth and the life - no one comes to the Father but through me".

It looks good.

Today we had a debrief of our expedition last Saturday - a very good time of discussing thoughts, feelings, learnings, etc.

Hopefully Ian will blog back with his website address - a great account of the whole adventure, and some great photos.

The week looms large ahead of us...

One day/step/smile/tear at a time...

Love,

G.

Michael Jackson departs...

"50 is far too young to die", they were saying at school today.

And of course I agree, though this is a highly coloured opinion!

And so is 14, and I thank God for the miracles of survival, rescue and healing in Alexander this week.

Michael Jackson - let's face it, the last few years were pretty terrible, whichever way you look at it.

When I heard the news, I was shocked and saddened, whilst recognising that there were some "shady" aspects to his private life.

Still, the music and dance will continue, while Michael now rests in hopefully a much more peaceful and whole situation than he experienced on this planet.

Bad, Black and White, Man in the Mirror, Thriller, Beat it, Human Nature, Don't Stop Till You Get Enough, Billie Jean...Ben, ABC, I Want You Back, I'll Be There...

Let's not remember the silliness and fantasy and hurt and bizarre stuff...let's remember the voice, the fragility, the sheer funkiness and style, the groove.

He's no Beethoven, Marley, Buckley or Lennon...but he will be missed, and his music and dance endure.

I am doing fine by the way and looking forward to a quiet weekend away from the West Coast (for once!) - and doing reports, writing a test and playing at church.

Love,

G.

It don't beat the way it used to ...

Which is good. See below.

2 hospital visits yesterday for A:-

- the second for a fracture check.

Which was fine.
Reinforcement of the left cast with glow in the dark fibreglass and neatening of the shoulder end to reduce abrasion.

Removal of the right cast.
Check of the S-shaped right wound, which is healing nicely.
Replastering of the right arm - a bit neater, this time, too.
Next week both will be X-rayed to look for bone healing.
We've got a smart double-sling which isn't getting worn, and a single sling as well - which isn't getting worn either.

No surprises there, then.

- and the first visit for a cardiac check.
The heart was well upset by the severe fall, to the extent that it wasn't working too well when Alexander first arrived at the hospital in the 'copter.

2 days later it was still murmuring significantly (every few beats).
They let us go home on the assumption the abnormality was due to a bash to the heart and / or dealing with the trauma.

They were right - it was totally cleared up on the retest, which was great news.

Away from hospital for Alexander till next Thursday.

Gerald's scan (first since chemo started) on Monday.

Richard's vW/hospitals cartoon is pretty funny as well as apt.

L

I take a simple view of living. It is: keep your eyes open and get on with it. (Laurence Olivier)

Forever Tuesday Morning

7.20 ferry Sophie to school.
7.30 blood test.
8.30 counselling session with cancer counsellor, Rebecca L.
9.45 back to school.
11.10 brief coffee chat with Rose and Mal in the Art Dept.
12.30 lunchtime - 3 music teachers and a swathe of kids invading the block to practise for the showcase etc.
1.10 Bathe in the River analysis continues - the yr 11 boys are introduced to Aunty Fanny (antiphony) - call and response (which most can relate to due to Haka/Waiata competition and Samoan song styles).
2.10 10PM (practical class) flow in and the lesson turns around very quickly - virtually all have their theory books (though there are 2 girls who appear to be in the class more as ornaments rather than as useful citizens!).
3.10 Super Twelve (9 of them anyway) drift in - I do my best not to stress out at the lackadaisical attitude displayed by some. We are still not "gelling" as a group, and 2 of the 3 absences are not really acceptable...
4.45 traipse home listening to Fratellis' first album (VERY catchy - similar vein to Arctic Monkeys).
5.30 drop into the warm safe nest that is home - all of us by the fire - Samson has usurped my quilt!!
Black Adder, pizzas from the pastor, failed attempt to do tutee reports (due to internet connection problems - again!), blogout!
And just now, Kevin from A's D-Team (youth group thingie) arrives with cards they have made for A.
Great!

La, la, how the life goes on...

Alex is back home - hooray!

Now the hard part of recovery begins...

I am very grateful to have school as a kind of constant in my life at present...no matter what, school is always there (especially now we are in the "management phase" of swine flu)...

We rejoiced at school today that a year 13 band, "Brown Touch", have made it thru to the regional finals of Rockquest.

You will have a chance to hear them at the Midwinter Music Showcase this Wed in the Dance and Drama dept.

Thanks to Kirsty for escorting our 2 bands to the heats on Friday!

Lois's "cold" continues to cause her great discomfort - she appears to be losing her voice.

And Sophie has sniffles...

Sometimes I feel like saying "can we go back to Page 1 and start this story over?"

But the life goes on...so take your barrow to the market place, eh?

Love,

G.

Bringing it all back home

We arrived back this evening, all cardiac checking (apart from another on Thursday along with fracture check and ?) complete.

Alexander went immediately to bed.
Straight to sleep.
For the night, I think.

Hungry but not feeling like eating.
Wanting to be brave, feeling grumpy (and that's just me, Lois ... kidding ... I think).
Starting to realise just how curtailing having two immobile arms is gonna be.
(as well as undignified ...)

Good to be here, good to be near, what's next?

I reckon Gerald has a right to be aggrieved, other people's dramas superseding and subsuming attention for a while ...
But Gerald actually deserves a medal, volunteering to help transform Alexander's room from a 14yearold's "don't touch my stuff" cozy cobwebby chaos into something still recognisable but bearable as an invalid's escape.
Due to Ian Mander's offer to sit with Alexander, I took a trip out from Ward 24B and sorted it - as grateful to escape the closing in walls as for the chance to do the job.

Sophie's piano exam is on Wednesday.
And her cultural evening Wednesday and Thursday at school, performing both nights.
Em-ceeing the second night.

Sophie has been a trouper.
Also coming soon - a photo of her trash-to-fashion creation: it's wondrous, perfectly formed, and more glamourous than anything I've attempted to wear (let alone make from odds and ends and old stuff just by imagining and sewing).
Delicious, in fact.

Fire's glowing, no hospital for 2 days, reader's digest brahms (Bruch) soaring and soothing, Gerald doing a familiar moan about his school's remote internet connectivity, very gesellig.

L

Or not ...

Maybe home tomorrow ... or today ... or some other day

Just call if you are thinking of visiting.

Cheers

L

Thoughts escaping, music's playing, love lies waiting

Stop press: We're expecting to be out of hospital later today.
Antibiotics & pain meds at home.
Infection check, fracture reset etc. Thursday morning.

Slow down, you move too fast.

L

Touching the void

You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there (YB, my often quoted friend).

On the other hand ...

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy (Dale Carnegie).

A bit too much action and too little knowledge and experience yesterday - but Alexander is alive, not permanently damaged, and pretty funny.

2 quotes from yesterday:
Orthopaedic Surgeon to Alexander: "I'll decide when I open it up and have a look at it whether to put a system of pins and plates in there."
Alexander: "But you'll ask me first, right?"
Orthopaedic S: Looks confused (can the boy be joking?)

Alexander to Lois: "I thought I was going to die when I was lying out there freezing and bleeding and the helicopter just flew round and round."
Lois: "How did that feel?"
Alexander: "Fatal."

We have

• 1 much reduced haematoma, from a small but very deep laceration (no brain injury or fracture)
• 1 shoulder to knuckles cast (left), broken lower and upper wrist - 6 weeks in plaster
• 1 upper arm to lower arm cast (right), compound fracture and laceration
• Abrasions and bruises
• A stoic and grateful attitude
• 2 unbroken legs

Over the next 2 days we'll antiobioticize in hospital, then have a good look for infection and go from there. Risk of infection with deep head and arm wounds full of dirt and gravel is high. Plan A is no infection, out of here in a few days for the recovery period. Plan B is whatever it takes to deal with stuff that happens.

Clear and cool, cloudy periods expected later.

News, weather and sport

L

Aue...te mamae...

Which is Maori for "aah...the pain (sorrow)"...

Alexander had a bad accident today.

We were walking down to Mercer Bay (south of Piha), Ian Mander, John Selman, Daniel Smith (Alexander's cousin) and myself (Gerald).

The track was pretty rugged, though manageable (though how were we going to get back?).

The reason was to explore some caves on the beach that had been highly recommended by the speleological (sp?) society.

We came to the edge of a 6 metre bluff/cliff, and Alexander was first over it...his confidence exceeding his skill, he lost his hold and plummeted down, banging his head into the cliff twice on the way down (according to Daniel, who was with him at the cliff edge).

He landed head first in a tiny creek near a waterfall...Ian scuttled down to provide first aid and comfort etc., and we found, miraculously, that John's phone was able to contact emergency services (Telecom).

Alexander was helicoptered out (the wind was a very real challenge for the helicopter) to Ak Hospital, children's emegency unit, and the rest of us eventually got ourselves together and scrambled back up the "track", ably and willingly aided by Andy, the park ranger.

As I write, Alex is awaiting surgery to remove (reduce) a large haematoma on his forehead, and fix up broken bones in his left wrist and possibly right arm...Lois is currently with him, and we will see what tomorrow brings...

We have all been shocked at the accident, grateful for the "miraculous" (telecom cellphone, Alex wearing a helmet, which could well have been the difference between life and death...), and are all numbed by the events.

Please pray for Alex's swift healing.

In love and sorrow,

G and A.

It's too late...

Chemo 4 started today.

Thanks to chemo-buddy Andrew C. who kept me company.

The attraction of chemo-day is getting out to a movie afterwards.

It feels like wagging!

Great for the soul!

Andrew had been hoping Tiffany would be my nurse today.

And lo and behold his dream came true!

So, after Chemo, Terminator Salvation (to be reviewed soon, after "untouchable girls"...

Then home.

Then out to Laingholm to record my song cycle/musical, "Roadkill" (this is now the official name!).

Chris W, my nephew-in-law, has done a superb job of making my voice and guitar listenable, so I have decided to issue a limited edition of the songs on CD.

Alexander has offered to mass produce them for me - cool!

Don't forget the initial performance of this song cycle at MRBC on Sunday 26 July at 7pm.

Goodnight!

p.s. if you would like to come to the Battle of the Bands at O.C. (Otahuhu College) tomorrow it sarts at 7pm in the Dance and Drama Suite (behind the Music Block, at the bottom/souther end of the school - if you find yourself in the Kings College Chapel or dorms, you've probably gone too far South!)

The Good, the Bad and the Amusing

Good...

The doctor was "very, very pleased" with the blood test patterns, particularly the declining cancer markers in the blood.

He was also pleased to note that I have had no nausea, extremely minimal diarrhoea, and that my hair is still "hanging around" (not his quote - my colloquialism).

Um...and no signs of flu yet!

Bad...

Pen exploded in my shirt pocket, causing icky stains.

Why do these leaky pens always pick on white shirts???

Amusing...

In a vain attempt to cleanse myself from my mishaps (can one ever cleanse oneself fully, he asked metaphysically), I ended up with blue stained palms and a blue-stained chest - and then the doctor called me...

As I sat down, he looked at me rather more quizically than usual...asked me how I was feeling...then mentioned the palms...

"Oh...that's from a leaky pen!"

Doctor's face shows tangible signs of relief...clearly chemo not THAT bad...

Then he examined my chest and noticed the bruise-like marks on my chest...pen ink again!

Hopefully he won't decide that I require a good psychiatrist rather than his own tender and expert oncologist care!

Tomorrow haircut 4, Terminator Salvation, visit from Eva T, recording session out at Laingholm...

A light schedule, then!

Till tomorrow...

G.

War of the Words - report from the frontline...

So we got together and battled with Boggle.

Followed by a round or two or three of "Dictionary".

3 clans gathered - the Macintyre Robinsons, the Sorrensons, and the vWs (tho we were more like half a clan - Lois in Syd and A in his bedroom, typing up an interview with yours truly).

A great time - very yummy arvo tea, bread, cheeses, salami, melon, pineapple lumps and apple/berry cake from Eve's pantry!

Good laughs - anyone know what a machan is??

Thanks to the folks who came, AND those who stayed away, nursing their lurgies...

Today a luvverly day at schule again...I just love seeing the happy, excited faces of the kids, and also the challenge of trying to spark up my colleagues!

Kirsty was back today, so we had 3 music teachers, plus honorary music teacher Ben Swann...for someone who has not taught the subject before (he's science, PE, etc.) he does amazingly well.

Band battle on Thursday - kids piling into the Whare Puuoro at lunchtime to practice for their gig.

Recording sesh on Wed - oh, nearly forgot...haircut no.4!

Love,

G.

Simon and Garfunkel (concert review) - blog 100!

As I write I am listening to Bookends, S and G's 2nd to last "proper" album.

Today has been something of an S and G celebration round the vWs, in the house stereo, the car stereo, and when I finish S and G I will be on to Paul Simon's solo output.

The concert was indeed "groovy" in many ways.

I have not seen the Vector Arena so full ever, and not only that, full of well-behaved elderly people!

And then there was the audience...

But seriously, S and G may be physically/visually showing their age (and G's voice has inevitably succumbed a bit to the ravages of time, tho maintaining a ghostly fragility that was not inappropriate for the more intimate numbers), but musically the songs of Paul Simon remain as fresh, timeless and potent as when they were first penned ("how terribly strange to be 70", indeed!).

The concert, for me, fell into 3 sections -

1. The Hits (Old Friends the starter, followed by Hazy Shade of Winter, I Am a Rock, etc. etc.)...Scarborough Fair with cello (not the additional lyrics - straight folksong), Mrs Robinson preceded by entertaining clips from The Graduate (hasn't Dustin Hoffman come a long way?), and interluded by Not Fade Away, finishing with Bridge Over Troubled Water (Art giving it his all) - going into the 2nd chorus the sound cut out and the audience joined in (mostly throughout the concert we wanted to join in, but also to listen, so most of us shut up after the first few lines of each song).

2. The Solo Stuff... (which came in the middle of the hits)
Art Garfunkel with Bright Eyes (you either love or hate it - frankly I prefer the stuff from his first solo album, Angel Clare), a song about New York, and a grace...

Paul Simon with Me and Julio, Boy in the Bubble and Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes, then back to the hits - Paul rocked with the band, and the band themselves were a great ensemble...drummer, percussionist, the bassist Paul has used for his last few concert tours, a guy on accordion, trumpet, etc. a lead guitarist who could play sax and Andean flute...hmm, wouldn't mind seeing their contracts for this tour!...a beautiful pianist, a cellist...and Paul on his array of acoustic guitars...the sound beautifully mixed, allowing us to hear the subtleties of S's guitar playing, the musical equivalent of runny, golden honey.

3. The Encores - Celia (fun to look down from our lofty perch and watch the old birds shaking their stuff on what limited floor space was available), "Leaves That Are Green Turn To Brown" (2 men and a guitar - intimate, gorgeous, angelic), The Boxer (my favourite song, and I finally got the significance of the last verse!), and of course "Feelin' Groovy" (house lights up, 2 band blokes prowling around and lapsing into the Jaws music for some cheerful and crazy reason).

Highlights - Simon's solo slot, Scarborough Fair, Leaves etc., My Little Town, Sounds of Silence and of course Bridge (since mum died I always feel like crying when I hear them sing that song)...

Simon's guitar-playing.

The sound overall (lesser bands should blimmin' well pay attention, especially to the fact that the bass does NOT need to be cranked all the way up!).

The rapport of S and G - a friendship that has had its ups and downs, but then they have been doing this for at least 50 years! To see their complicite on stage was special.

The songs - every one a cracker in its own right.

No frills - no explosions, no support act, no "rarking up" the crowd - musicianship, rapport, respect, humour, beauty, 2 and a half hours of bloody good music!

Wish I could've gone again tonight!

Over and out,

G.

Time of Testing...

Today I got a little package from Green Lane Hospital.

I was hoping it would be a CD.

It was an appointment for a CT (NOT CD) scan, and some packs of powdered stuff to make up my dye drink with on the day - this is nothing like the colonoscopy drink - it actually tastes a bit like orange drink (or at least it did last time!).

The scan is to survey the tumours in my liver and abdomen and see what they're up to.

Hopefully not much! (unless shrinking is going on!)

The scan appointment is at 10am on Monday 29th June at Green Lane.

I don't know how long it will be - any ideas, anyone?

Diary dates coming up are:

Simon and Garfunkel tomorrow at 8pm

WotW at 3pm on Sun.

Tue 4pm doctor talk pre-chemo.

Wed 9am CHEMO/HAIRCUT 4 (followed by a showing of Terminator Salvation, with Andy C, my "chemo-buddy" for the day!) (followed by a recording of a demo cd of my song cycle/musical "The Good Samaritan" - can anyone suggest a better title which doesn't lock the thing up into historical/geographical/biblical context ? - this is actually an "outreach opus" - the best I can think of is "Roadkill".....hmmm....)

Thu 7pm Battle of the Bands at my school - we have about 11 bands competing - year 9 thru to year 13 - this is the first time I've run something like this, so I am very excited!

Thu 8.30pm the return of Lois!

Fri - pump off!

Well, that's the plan...

As I write this I am listening to a CD called "love songs" by Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, a renowned qawaali singer (Pakistan), and his (very) extended family - it is gorgeous.

No reports tonight - they can wait till Sunday night.

"Mother Tongue" (book review)

This is another Bill Bryson.

I confess here and now that I am absolutely hooked on this author - he can do no wrong.

This particular tome traces the history and geography and science and madness of the English language - a language which is probably the most global language there is.

As Bryson reveals, those of us born into the language are very lucky - we are not too puzzled by the lack of rules, consistency or rationality that abound in English.

Have pity on those for whom English is a second or third language - particularly those whose languages bear little resemblance to English...what a nightmare it must be to navigate the pronunciation of all those "ough" words!

Bryson discusses this, along with the most bizarre collection of surnames, pub names, brand names and church names (St Andrew's By the Wardrobe, anyone??).

These chapters, and the chapters on swearing and the creation of the great dictionaries, are spell-binding, entertaining, and, as usual, highly authoritative.

And as usual, I finished the book feeling I had genuinely learnt some new things, been entertained, and had my appetite whetted for even more Bryson (next read from this author will be the Brief History of Nearly Everything, after Lord of the Rings, which merely FEELS like the brief history of nearly everything).

Very highly recommended!!!

Bits'n'bobs

This week proving to be incredibly (inedibly?) busy.
Today, for example...
Get to school 8.15am.
Period 1 a year 9 class to teach (no reliever for Theo).
Period 2 swap yr 11 classes so I can assess Kirsty's 11PM (she has been away since last Friday).
BREAK
Period 3 yr 10PM (practical) once again covering for Theo (no reliever turned up, but assessments needed to be done anyway!)
Period 4 Lee gives me the period off (time to sit down!).
LUNCH
Period 5 2 Year 9s - spoilt for choice!
Having arranged for Lee to have the period off, once again a Theo Ariaens class turns up - I give the reliever (who has just been told he's relieving!) 9S (or is it L - it all blurs into one!) and take 9Q - they need a little special assistance...and manage to produce some work.
Then band till 4.30pm after which Kerry and I are ready to drive home and "offload" a few things.
Yr 11 reports (still 3 classes of 10s to go, then tutor group).
Still - ironically it feels like I can say "I still have my health" (apart from the cancer, of course!).
Weird.

Reminder about War of the Words on Sun at 3pm, running till about 5pm - can each person please bring nibbles to share and a drink to share - that way we should be sweet for refreshments.

By the way, teaching the year 9s was actually good fun - they are not on my timetable this year, so it's been fun to try out some new stuff with them.

Big thanks to Lee H and Ben S for superb support this week.

Wonder what tomorrow will bring?

Love,

G.

About Bloggy Time!

Whoops.
Apologies for no blogs in the last 4 days or so.
It has been a busy time.
Richard and Ruth have been here, and it has been wonderful to have them with us.
Too short of course, but miles better than nix.
They left today.
I am missing them.
Our friendship with them goes back a long way...about 20 years.
One of those friendships where even though you may not see them for a while, you pick it up again when you get back together.
Don't forget War of the Words this Sunday, 3pm to 5pm-ish.
But yes, stay away if you have sniffles, snivels or sneezes.
Traipsed out to a "meet the school" type evening at St Cuth's - what a lovely library building they have.
Sophie met a girl who was with her in primary...also a scholarship winner.
Today I was the ONLY department teacher at school - Kirsty away with flu, Lee away with flu/cold and Theo away still pumping anti-biotics into his system.
A lonely, busy day then!
But most of all I miss my friends and wish they could have stayed here.
When will I see them again?
Thank goodness for Boston Legal on DVD, and Lois to comfort me while she is here in the country.
Health/comfort excellent still...a bit tired.
Goodnight!
p.s. coming up on Sunday 26th July at MRBC 7pm evening - "The Good Samaritan" (song cycle by me, written at start of the year).

Another Fabulous Day!

A quick rundown of today's story so far!

Into school with Richard'n'Ruth.

A warm O.C. welcome in the staffroom.

Actually a bit cold talking to Kerry about Steve Winwood outside at 3 degrees...

Year 13s - 3 part harmony performance from Stephen Rea, Barbara M and Bronny, accompanied by Lee H on piano - sweet.

Then a rockout with Rodney F on lead, Jordan B on rhythm, Totoa L on bass and Sione F on drums.

Then guitar duo from Richard and Federico Q, Richard singing a love song for Ruth (went down a treat with our soppy year 13s!).

Then a chat to Edwards sound about a sound system for the hall.

Then fresh big cheese scones from the tuck shop.

Then fresh coffee and best-afghans-in-the-world from the Tech Crew in B block.

Then zooming around like semi-mad thing doing semi-mad things in the admin sphere.

Year 11s - a rhythm circle thing happening.

Lunch - performances from some of my year 12s - beautiful!

Leek and potato soup, french bread with butter, cheeses, cakes, good company!

Year 10 Practical music listening to Wyclef Jean and Elton John (cousins?).

Then into hozzy to get pump taken off.

No anti-nausea tablets since Wednesday.

I feel good.

News that Sophie's scholarship is a full one for 5 years.

Gobsmacked.

CD from my son - heart melted.

Looking forward to a celebration time tonight.

Although R'n'R's visit is WAY TOO SHORT, it is fantastic to have them here.

Have a lovely weekend!

G.

"How Bizarre" indeed (a performance report)

So somehow I managed to get the School (Electric) Band to all meet and set up and rehearse for a gig in the library today.

Considering I was nowhere in the neighbourhood yesterday, I think I did quite well!

The songs we performed at lunchtime were Opshop's "One Day" and OMC's "How Bizarre".

For both songs I sang lead vocals, with backing vocals supplied by Lee H, Tui L, Mina L, and Starzya E.

The other musicians were all blokes.

The library filled up pretty quickly and we rocked into it - One Day is a ballady song which is a little too high for me to be comfortable in the chorus, so I harmonised while the girls took over the main tune - we shared 1 microphone between us, as the other 2 corded mics seem to have "got lost in the system" while I was in hospital.

My coup de grace was rushing away while the blokes performed a techno version of "the Samoan song", changing into my banana outfit, given to me by my ace nursey friend, Maria C.

The costume consisted of a yellow "banana suit" (the type used by nurses when infusing patients with chemo), a yellow scarf, a multi-coloured wig and a yellow pair of glasses with flashing lights.

Then into "How Bizarre" vW style, with yours truly pirouetting, scowling, prowling, pogoing and
presenting as genuinely bizarre.

WE HAD FUN!!

Tonight the 6 of us (2 Dormandys and 4 vWs) are heading off to Da Sette Soldi for a meal out.

I am VERY pleased to report that, following Nurse Karen's advice yesterday, I have done without anti-nausea pills since dinner time yesterday.

A great feeling (the original prescription was to have pills several times a day up to and including Saturday)!

Tomorrow R'n'R will accompany me to school, where they will meet students and staff, indulge in morning coffee and lunch (leek and potato soup, french bread and cheeses).

Yum!

G.

"The Boat That Rocked" (movie review)

I LOVED this movie.

It was like visiting an old, good friend, whose strengths are admirable and fun, and whose foibles are entertaining and forgivable.

1966 - if truth be told, I was only 4 years old at the time, and the only pirate ships I knew of were those inhabited by woodenlegged ruthless types with eyepatches and parrots perched on shoulders - come to think of it, apart from the absence of Johnny Depp, this movie could have been labelled Pirates of the Caribbean IV - Bill Nighy in top form and having a great time as the boss/captain (minus tentacles too, ladies...), and Jack Davenport once again playing the part of a conniving killjoy named Twat (! - yes, this is written by the guy who brought us the inimitable Blackadder Series, Richard Curtis).

The soundtrack is chocker with GREAT 60s music (AND, bizarrely, Who and Cat stuff from the early 70s!! Deliberate anachronism or unintentional or assuming the audience wouldn't notice?? Foible number one!).

The acting is exuberant and unrestrained with everyone buying into the joie de vivre - one of those movies where the cast would probably have signed on to do it for free (Kenneth Brannagh clearly enjoying his turn as the evil government minister Dormandy - no relation to MY Dormandys!) - Phillip Seymour Hoffman the only American in it, and many faces you will recognise from the British "stable".

Highlights for me - the wedding scene (groom wears a gorgeous jacket that I'm hoping someone will copy and make for me - I will pay!), the "chicken" game scene (scary, exciting and hilarious all in one) and the final scene.

Not one for the whole family I would say (sexual mores being what they were at this time, not they've improved much!), but great value for anyone who remembers the 60s in any way or who simply loves seeing funny stuff and hearing great music.

Rock'n'roll!

Gerald.

p.s. not related but Sunday 14th June 3pm will be "War of the Words" here at 26C Carlton St - scrabble, boggle, dictionary and anything else that springs to mind - bring a drink and something to share for nibbles - also maybe a spare game of scrabble or 2. If you plan to come do let me know so I can scheme how best to accommodate us all!

Finish between 5pm and 6pm, and we will NOT use the scrabble dictionary of ridiculous 2- and 3-letter words that nobody uses!

Thanksgiving

Hi!

Richard and Ruth are here, so many things have taken a back seat!

News since Saturday...

Arrival of Londoners (and their subsequent adjustment to jet lag and winter etc.)

Walk at White's Beach again - this time much less tiredness etc.

You will see some photos in due course!

Theo now out of his hospital!

Doctor Thompson today commented on how good my blood tests have been, and the CAE (cancer markers in the blood) are going down, which is fantastic news.

Alexander has had an exam result back (prac science) and done very well!

Lois has had some interest shown in employment in connection with an Oz firm which could possibly run alongside with her Transformation Analytics work.

G.

Brrr...(ian Eno)

Queen's Birthday weekend...eh?...eh??

Weather commenced fine but degenerated into something wet and miserable during our post-lunch perambulation.

Wish I could say the walk was scenic, but it is hard to see much from the inside of a rain hood.

I am hoping that I will get a bit more "fitness" back, as I find myself a little short of breath - I love walking, though, so hopefully the breath will return!

We have spent the morning preparing for Richard and Ruth's visit - the 10 days will fly by, but will hopefully be sweet and special.

On Lois's recent Sydney sojourn she bought herself a colourful jumper, like the ones I wear - so we look like twins now!

Well, almost...

I am a bit jealous of her because she gets to see Brian Eno's light sculpture thingy on the sails of the Sydney Opera House...for the uninitiated, Brian Eno was a foundation member of Roxy Music. He left after a squabble with Bryan Ferry, and went on to produce some of the most influential albums of the 70s, 80s, 90s and 00s, including Bowie's Low and Heroes, Talking Heads More Songs About Buildings and Food, Remain in Light, U2's Joshua Tree, Unforgettable Fire, Achtung Baby (cowriter of One), and lately Paul Simon's Surprise and Coldplay's Viva La Vida (to name but a few!).

He is the creator/proponent of "ambient music" and responsible for introducing the features of minimalism to the pop world.

With David Byrne he pioneered the technique of "sampling" in an album entitled "My Life in the Bush of Ghosts".

Worth listening to?

Definitely!

I hear that he is also the composer of the Microsoft opening-up musical motif, so he's probably rich, influential though not famous.

Hear endeth the lesson!

G.

"...the Days of Our Lives..."

My perspective on life is a little different from what it was about 97 blogs ago.

When I wake up in the morning (if not too tired) I think to myself "what will I do today that will make an impact/a difference in this world?"

I think over the last few years I had been heading towards this mindset...now it is underlined with a little frisson of urgency.

My life now focuses a LOT on people, time with people, time with God, appreciating what is there rather than hoping/wishing/stressing out about what is not.

Hard to discern trends at this early stage, but I do seem to be a little short-tempered soon after chemo...sometimes a little dizzy/breathless.

On Monday we learnt that Sophie has been accepted for a scholarship to St Cuthbert's College (a private girls' school in Auckland, with a good reputation for arts and literature, and probably other things.

This is after having to write her own cv, sitting 2 exams, attending 2 interviews...yes I am chuffed - we all are, and I know she will make the most of the opportunity.

It's also a relief, of course, as Lois and I have big question marks over financial security etc. (no, I am not stressed out about this, but it would be naive to assume all will automatically fall into place).

Meanwhile, Alexander rides the "exam roller-coaster" (ends tomorrow, with Art and Humanities).

This has been my first week with a new teacher in my team...Lee Harford, a musical, humorous, warm-hearted Samoan/Cook Island lady who is with us at least till the end of the year.

But tomorrow I am the only one of our team of 4 who is IN school (ironic, eh?).

We have clicked very well, and it is brilliant to have team-teaching going on in the classroom.

The students have responded extremely well, and of course one can cover twice as much in a lesson - if only this type of arrangement was "de rigeur"!

For those of you contemplating team teaching, a couple of observations so far...

Decide in advance who will "lead" the lesson.

Ensure you are comfortable sharing the space/time/focus.

Have common rules/expectations.

Enjoy the sharing.

Today the school band had its final practice of "How Bizarre" and "One Day" and I got some great harmony backing from Lee and "the girls" who came to support.

I booked us in for year 10 assembly which I now have to ubdo because next Wednesday is Chemo day (I actually felt so well yesterday and today I was "tempted" not to go next Wed...don't worry, I realise that would be silly really).

A girl greeted me as I headed out to my blood test on Tuesday with the unforgettable question "Hi, Sir, how's the cancer?"...to which I replied "very good, thank you"!

What else would I say?

"Oh, it really sucks and I hate the thought of dying so young"?

Don't get me wrong - I am not trivialising my mortality, however it comes back to grabbing each day by the proverbials and not letting go.

"More bang for your buck".

So, as I await the text from Lois to say she's touched down, I reflect on the events of today and think "how lucky to have had another gorgeous, glorious day lived at full tilt".

And it certainly puts the paperwork in perspective too...

My friend/colleague Theo is in Middlemore hospital with an enflamed shoulder, which nobody can account for.

He had a second op today and will be there at least till Saturday - I think they're putting a little pipeline into him similar to mine for his antibiotics...3 of us in our carpool, so that just leaves Kerry for some rewiring/replumbing!

Many things have happened this week but I wanted tonight's entry to be a bit more of where I'm at rather than what has happened.

A quote from John Waters (director of the original "Hairspray" movie): "Getting into Art is like joining a biker gang".

70th birthday of "Gone With the Wind" today..."frankly, my dear, I don't give a ....".

Goodnight!

G.

"From the Depths to the Heights" (an account)

Far be it from me to present anything resembling an objective view of last night's Concert of Psalms - so this is more a reflection of the things that made it a "buzz" for me.

Forgive my apparent self-indulgence (but, hey, blogging creates that occupational hazard anyway, I s'pose).

The musicians - mostly from the MRBC "stable", and people I have made music with for up to 10 years now (that's a lot of music!), but also including Robyn Allen-Goudge (harpist, and ex-school-buddy from 30 years ago!), Bruce Bremner (one-man keyboard orchestra from my "Valley Rd Days" - 25 years ago!) and Sophie van Waardenberg (a diligent and promising flute player, very familiar with her father's sometimes maverick musical decisions).

Guest vocal girls from my school - Sulieti, Christine and Losa (finally got transport sort-of organised, blew the audience away with a cappella gospel numbers and melted my heart, not for the first or probably even the last time).

The sound - Michael Barker, my "main man", who is a wonderful sound guy because he is musical - there were 15 musicians on stage, and he painted with our sounds as though each one of us was a different colour - I had the benefit of hearing all this centre stage, being in the middle and wallowing in a swathe of rich sound colours.

Slide show - compiled by Ian Mander, with some help from Alexander - every verse of every psalm accounted for by a memorable, arresting, sometimes humorous, often poignant visual image.

Hospitality - Linda McGrath organised it and it flowed out from the concert, making it a very long church service indeed!

Audience - a huge (for me) audience, made up of churchgoers, friends, family, people who had received the flyer, colleagues, people from my past, homegroups, etc. - attentive, enthusiastic, and appearing to bathe in the sounds and words of these ancient inspirational songs.

Prayer - it was the loveliest thing to have Lois read a prayer and poem as part of the concert - evocative, intense, heartfelt and original.

Feedback - to be in a place and have done something that appears to have "touched" people in many rich and powerful ways (according to the feedback!).

Emmanuel - God with us. There is NOTHING like the deep sense of God holding you and you being in "the right place"... and making music!

Many thanks to all who came, listened, prayed and journeyed with me through the concert.

Where to from here?

I still have so MUCH that I want to do while on this planet - psalms to set, other music to make, shows to write.

If anyone out there has any feedback as to what you might like me to tackle next, feel free to blog or email me with your suggestions.

This Wednesday I plan to record psalms 11 to 20 (I have already done 1 to 10)...

I also have a show that I think I will do as a kind of slide show/concert version at some stage....and more stuff as well.

But NOW...time to get some sleep, and let the folfiri do its work!

G'night,

Gerald.

"Star Trek" (film review)

Gene Rodenberry has a lot to answer for!

The creator, and original producer/director/etc. of "Star Trek", has left a huge legacy, an entertainment equivalent of the Big Bang.

Star Trek is its own expanding universe, and a great example of what I was raving about in my earlier blog, "Infinity and Beyond".

Not being a particularly obsessive "trekkie", I have lost track of how many different TV series there have been, and whether the current movie is number 5, 6 or 7.

What I can report, however, is that the lastest addition to the Star Trek canon is hugely worthwhile, entertaining and gripping.

This is a "backstory" type Star Trek, showing us why James T. Kirk was good for the Star Fleet, how Spock's psychological dilemma came to be, why "Bones" is called "Bones" and giving us a preview of the stressed-out, batty and lovable Scotsman who came to be known as...er..."Scotty".

We follow the crew of the Starship Enterprise on a mission to deal to the nasty Romulans, the catch being that we must travel with them into and back from the future.

Confusing?

Perhaps, as far as timewarp movies go, but anyone who has watched an episode of Star Trek will be used to this "psychological complexity", and the storyline of the movie is as clear as glass (the movie is directed by J.J. Abrams, so expect plenty of action along the lines of "Lost").

A particularly attractive feature of the show is the way in which the relationships of the crew, and in particular that of Spock and Kirk, develop.

One of the key elements of ANY Star Trek is the personification of "logic" and "emotion", and the struggles between these 2 sides of the human/vulcan/romulan/etc. psyche - this movie is no exception.

Another key element is humour, and althought there are huge explosions, laser fights, chases and general hard knocks, the humour is not lost.

A lucid, energetic and hugely appealing space romp for 13 year olds and over.

To go boldly where no man has gone before?

G.

Today and Tomorrow

Today:
The usual Saturday morning stuff (all good).
A Hillsborough walk in radiant sunshine with Lois.
An hour's tutorial with Alexander discussing Animal Farm (hooray - something I CAN help him with in his school work!).
A rehearsal of psalms with Sophie, who is getting into the improvisation with great gusto.
Starting to watch Star Trek - Enterprise, and following thru with House Season 4, Boston Legal Season 1 and Studio 60 1st series.

Tomorrow:
Short tutorial with A.
Church at 9 (featuring a chain gang sketch).
Rest.
Concert rehearsal 2 - 5pm.
Rest.
Concert 7pm (Mt Roskill Baptist Church, 483/485 Richardson Rd - opposite May Rd School).
Rest!!!

Goodnight,


G.

"Hello America" (book review)

J.G. Ballard, 1981 (Vintage paperback, 1994).

Not many people are familiar with the work of J.G. Ballard - more's the pity!

You may have heard of the movies "Empire of the Sun" and "Crash", however, which are both based on his books - autobiography and novel, respectively.

He died not long ago, so I decided to tuck into my collection of his novels.

His writing style is distinctive, cool, phantasmagoric and challenging - never an easy ride.

"Hello America" is no exception - I would not recommend it as a first foray into Ballardland, but definitely tackle it after "The Drowned World" ( first novel, about a world, and the city of London, in particular, submerged by water from the ice caps - sound accurate? - written over 40 years ago).

Hello America is set about 100 years in the future - the continent has been transformed, seemingly, into a desert, and we take up the story with an expedition team from Europe landing on the coast of New York in search of....

Their discoveries are part of the treasure of the novel, so I won't tell you a thing, except to say that there is an hilarious, bizarre, Gothic scenario played out in a Las Vegas casino evoking the "ghosts" of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Judy Garland.

There are many twists and turns in the novel, which achieves its purposes of captivating, delighting, scaring and challenging the reader.

Highly recommended!

G.

Glow Worm Poem

...courtesy of Ak Onco Unit...

I would like to be a glow worm,
A glow worm's never glum.
It's hard to be downhearted,
When the sun shines out your bum.


....have a sunny day, wherever/whatever you are!

G.

...and transcends...

...Queensryche (American heavy metal band) performing cover versions of great songs (I may be turning into a headbanger, and it's all your faul, Mr Ariaens)...

Schubert C major quintet for strings (op. posthumous 127 - count them! - 127 posthumous works)...

one hit wonders in the car on the way to haircut no.2 at the hospital, including "Come on Eileen" and "Agadoo"...

total runthrough of psalms beginning 6.30amish

a drip that plays the first 5 notes of the Magic Roundabout

Brahms viola sonatas by Maxim Rysanov

my own contribution to the viola repertoire being mass-produced for "the punters" (10 copies available free of charge

the very cool, magnificent soundtrack of The Boat That Rocked (including Elgar's Nimrod at a very poignant movement

a conversation with a man today or yesterday diagnosed with throat cancer (not in hospital, but in the lobby of the Lido, where i watched the above movie, about music being beyond the known universe (he an agnostic, me a Christ-follower, but having this belief about music in common!)

Sophie's very cool piano playing...

...utterly beyond words...

G.

Music transcends

Today I was privileged to assess 2 of my year 13 group performances.

One group performed an original song called Polynesian Heaven - a song about living in "South Auckland" and seeing the beauty of the p[lace and the people while the media seeks to paint a different picture.

Sublime lyrics, tune, vocals and guitar playing.

The group went on to perform "On Eagle's Wings" - confident and assured throughout.

The second group were noticeably less confident with their first song, which shows the dangers of being unprepared...

Their second song though was the flipside - a joyous, infectious, confident and creative setting of "My Uncle John From Jamaica", with a delicious marimba line.

I have the best job in the world.

The ironic thing is that I actually get paid for it!!!!

Nevertheless, I "escaped" from my Polynesian Heaven at 1.10 to attend my "cafe heaven" with Lois, and then on to Cancer Society for a counselling session with Rebecca L - useful and positive, I found.

Physically feeling GREAT today - thanks for your prayers etc. - DON'T STOP, eh?

Much love to youse all.

By the way, you will have a chance to hear 3 delightful vocalists from my school at the start of the Psalms Concert - if you are there, of course!

Gerald.

Getting Used To It

I suppose once you get used to the routines it's okay.
The weird thing is I feel really okay.
Occasional twinges and dizziness, but nothing to make me phone the hospital.
I have to report all is well.
So far!
We'll see how this next week goes - I wonder if the chemo will make me feel progressively worse?
This Monday, Lois and I meet with Rebecca Lee, cancer society psychologist/counsellor.
Tuesday - pre-chemo assessment and bloodtest no.356
Wednesday - Haircut No. 2!!
Friday - pump off!
Sunday - Psalms Concert at 483/485 Richardson Rd (Mt Roskill Baptist Church).
plus teaching, "jamming", planning, rehearsing, blogging - life as per usual.
G.

"Live Long and Prosper"

A catchphrase from the "Star Trek" movie the space family vW ventured forth to see this afternoon.

We are all now adept at the Vulcan salute/greeting, and my children now know the significnce of being "beamed up".

A more substantial review follows (look out also for reviews of Ballard's Hello America and C.W. Stoneking's Jungle Blues).

A lovely day - I had a few hatless episodes - regrettably my rasta hat is now more closely akin to a tea cosy!

Sophie had a piano lesson today - she is receiving rigorous, musical and inspiring training from Susan Smith, and is in the final stages of preparing for her Grade 4 exam.

We drove back from the movie on the new stretch of motorway - Sandringham Rd to Hillsborough Rd.

Tonight Lois and I will further embroider the time warp theme by watching William Shatner (the original Captain Kirk) as Denny Crane in "Boston Legal".

Tomorrow a Baxter family do.

Marking to do - luxury!

And of course prep for the Psalms Concert!

G.

Infinity and Beyond

I was struck by a thought yesterday which has been incredibly powerful for me.

We live in an infinite universe (though it appears that possibly it may be finite...)

God is an infinite being (especially if we believe He created "this place", i.e. the infinite universe).

Made in His/Their image, human beings contain infinity within themselves - infinite imagination, infinite capacity, infinite possibilities...

This was especially exciting for me today in terms of classroom teaching - awareness of myself as a truly creative being, and awareness of my students and colleagues as similarly limitless - perhaps limited only by fear.

Anyone reading this - don't be scared! Be Unlimited!

Day-by-day....recorded cd of viola music yesterday - thanks Chris W!

For someone in nutripenia, I didn't do too badly getting back home at 11.20pm!!

Today felt REALLY good - sometimes wonder if people expect me to be feeling weak, low, sad, tired, etc. - if so, sorry to disappoint (except that I'm not at all sorry for feeling well!!).

Some crappy student interactions today (not "my own" students), but ones that drove me to challenge the kids about how they are spending their time.

So, finally, may your tomorrow be God-given, God-shriven and God-driven!

Lots of infinite love,

G.

Maxi-update

It is the night before nutripenia (sp??).
When my immune system will be at its lowest ebb for the cycle, 7 days after the infusion.
It has been a very full few days since the last fullish blog written to you.
And, most thankfully, a very sweet week.
Symptoms have been minimal so far, and I'll go with that, thank you!
Even the diarrhoea was pretty minimal and harmless.
My appetite has not been affected at all - probably greater than ever!
I have now worn three different wigs at school - kids, staff and myself all seem to enjoy the novelty and fun.

Sunday was groovy - the Job song went well - it was lovely having Mike Coleman play a suitably mellow lead line over the verse, along with Andrew Finn on clarinet - you will have a chance to hear these guys "rock out" at the Psalms Concert on 24th May.

Lois has been in Oz since yesterday, and her sister Nola has been looking after us in the evening, cooking up lovely meals then staying on with her son Aren for a game of monopoly (Aren is so keen on it - reminds me of Alexander, indeed myself, when we were young and nothing seemed as important as playing monopoly!!!).

A really beautiful thing happened for me today - my "Super Twelve" group wrote a beautiful, tender song for me...I didn't dare ask who it was for, but of course the truth will out!
These kids...so direct, open, beautiful.
I hope no one asks me whether I enjoy teaching, or why I chose to go back to work.
25 years I've been doing this and it just gets better and better.
Since bowel op it's been exciting to reorient as to what is important in education, and I'll tell you something for nothing...it sure as hell ain't the paperwork...
I'm happy to argue this one of course, but be prepared to lose....
And if anyone from NZQA is reading this...it's never too late to change your career!
Enough politics (for now)...
Time for a sleep in preparation for going on (Sticky) TV tomorrow.

Lots of love, gifts, peace...

G.

mini-update

just to let you know I am still alive, thriving, and surviving (in no particular order).
will give a bit more detail tonight (the plan).
thoroughly enjoying every precious minute on this planet.
G.

"I Know That My Redeemer Lives"

He that frees me.
From death, from everything.
To life everlasting and always good.
I at last shall see Him...
And with my own eyes, not second-hand.
Wow!

And this is from Job chapter 19 (verses 25 - 27).

Not even half way through the book!

And BEFORE God speaks to him about his suffering (Faith, Hope and Love).

I will be singing these verses at church tomorrow.
I last "performed" them at my father-in-law's funeral (Arthur).
I worked up the song to go and sing at Elim Christian College last year (after the Mangatepopo disaster which claimed 6 students and one teacher from their school community)...
Read the verses, if you aren't able to make it to my church tomorrow (MRBC on Richardson Rd) at 10am.

The verses state simply and strongly that we have no need to fear death and every reason to expect a wonderful meeting time on "the other side of the grave".

Other amazing things from today include:

5 years since my mother moved on.
My mother-in-law's birthday!
Oak leaves stampeding along the pathway at Cornwall Park.
The full moon rising, floating, flying, hiding and revealing itself...
Sophie's new, self-composed piano piece...
The trees you swim through at times in Cornwall Park.
Darn good coffee at Cafe O.
Alexander's helpfulness in many ways today.
My wife's kind, thoughtful eyes, energised by her smile.
Hugs and holding of hands....

Bach's preludes and fugues for keyboard.

Pain free and floating, without pumps or wires.

Care, gentleness, love.

And to answer questions and put you out of your misery, my last pre-chemo breakfast was appelstroop on buttered toast, and I did eventually call the hozzy about the hiccups...they said "oh, they didn't tell you about that side effect"!

I am about to see whether my Saturday evening appetite for butter chicken remains!

Yours,

Very Peaceful, thankful, hopeful...

Gerald.

purple wigs and hiccups and dom perignon

Purple wig worn to school today - just for fun!
But I got thru the day wearing it, in all my classes, the staffroom, playground.
Scored 6 dates by morning interval - 3 from girls, 3 from boys (all in jest of course).

Catchphrase: "They told me there would be side effects, but I never expected this!"

Dom Perignon actually dom peridone - an anti-nausea pill in my little cocktail of pills.
I forgot to take it before lunch today - a case of chemo brain!
Managed to survive - my colleague Catherine N, a school nurse and Music Support Staff person, came in and sorted me out at the start of lesson 5 (after lunch - last lesson of day).
The last lesson was a bunch of boisterous, messy year 9s, 9L, who were most intrigued with the medicine and then my cancer story.
By the time I finished relating it, I had undone my shirt and shown them the maze of pipes, pump and pouch (and portacath) that is now part of being "surprisedbyGerald".
They were fascinated.

Theo took band this arvo, a real gift enabling me to escape to the seclusion of the staffroom for cheese toastie, feijoas and gingernuts - the appetite has not yet weakened (I know it's early days and I know that physically I am powerless to influence the goings-on in my own body).

Home, to the washing, firewood, dishes, Sophie practising piano (getting into Simon and Garfunkel at present - lovely to hear when I come through the front door) and Alexander into his maths (stuff I doubt I'll be able to rediscover).
Maria bringing pre-cooked meals to use for tomorrow, some pains where my bowel was stapled together and...HICCUPS!!!
Hiccups of quite a violent and incessant and disturbing nature...no longer there as I write...

Fred and Patricia bringing pizza from Ari's and sharing time, presence and poetry thru till blogtime...a beautiful one by Pat's daughter Ruth about a caged lion (metaphor for crippling illness, specifically arthritis).

Hiccups back!

Do I ring the "unwell number"?

Find out in the next exciting episode...

Love as always and forever,

Gerald.

After the Haircut (haircut no.1)

I was spoilt for choice for titles for this blog.

The above-mentioned?

"Back to Wonderland"?

"Lois - missing in action (missing inaction)"?

"Folfiri's First Foray"?

"My life as a dizzy blonde"?

"Good drugs, bad drugs, red wine and chocolate"?

"Another Day of Gifts"?

I dunno.

Clearly I have been affected psychologically in what I feel is a very benign way.

It has been a beautiful, special and loving day.

I am very happy and not at all in pain/distress/discomfort etc.

I have met some very special people today and experienced great tenderness and love from friends, family etc.

Today I give thanks to Maria C (transport, company, catering, laughs),
Lois (keeping in touch when possible),
Lorna (presence and prayers and pick-ups),
nurses etc. (wonderful care),
Kerry (phone call, phriendship),
Pritika (chips and orange and ipod and hugs and good conversation),
Alexander and Sophie (self-reliance, patience and good humour - I am proud of you both),
Folfiri (getting stuck into my cancer),
Jonathan J (taking the weight from my metaphysical shoulders re: PPTA),
emailers, texters and blogfollowers (anonymous, ubiquitous and united),
Joke (reiki transmission)
God (mysterious, powerful and PRESENT in ways you can only experience for yourself)
and.......
Samson (mysterious, present and demanding, reminding me that there is always someone whose needs can be met by ME).

Love is the only thing that matters.

Believe it, live it and all else falls into place!

Really!

Amen (the name of my registrar yesterday is Aymen).

I send you my love - enjoy!!!

Gerald.

Chemo Day - Into Battle

Life is a battle.
Seems that way at least - no, IS that way.
That does not mean it isn't fun at least some if not most of the time.
But from the day we are conceived the battle begins.
Today is a more specific battle, but as I mentioned before, I have Folfiri on my side (or should that be "in my side"?).
I feel a little bit like the "damsel in distress" waiting in a high stone tower for the battle to be won by my champion...
On another level, as with all world wars, genocides, natural disasters, God holds all these things "in his hands" ("in her hands" for those of us recognising the need for gender identification with Deity).
He already knows the cards/the way the battle will play out/even the variables.
If God is in charge, why worry?
The fear of pain, nausea, losing senses, NOT being able to enjoy breakfast, music, teaching, viola, sex, hugs, ever again...
What do you think I had for my "last breakfast" this morning (no answers from you, Sophie, because you were there!)??

Thankyous to people for yesterday -
Lorna for dinner and companionship and looking after Sophie,
Pritika for organising parking and pre- and post-consult hugs,
the unsmiling wench at 3 Kings pharmacy who reminded me that smiles can make somebody's day,
the O.C. Super 12 who are faced with a much more "flexible" rehearsal schedule than we started with,
Ben Swann for being Ben Swann in my year 12 class (I left them in good hands!),
Janna Jones for explaining interesting and hopefully helpful machines,
The Simpsons for (continually) reminding me that there possibly are other families with similar levels of dysfunctionality,
the Hofmanns for (real) haircut, (good) wine, (shared) humour and (warm) friendship.

Catch you after Chemo Session 1!

Gerald.

Chemo -2

Very late now and this is all going to go a little bit James Joyce on you as I struggle with tiredness to write coherent stuff down a busy day today timetable says teach all 5 lessons I nip out for 40 minutes to do a blood test and am pleased to find my students carrying on woth their group performance a mark of teaching success or just lick or a mark of resilient and leadery studeudents? no i'm not even going to correct spelling so there chicken casserole from stu and maree which they shared with us delicious maree thank you in my home group (in my church) if someone is ill the assembled group will "lay hands" on them meaning they put their hands on them and pray for their healing this happened to me tonight and it was very good thank you home group harry belafonte singing a range of folk and work songs as i type tonight we habe had "Bee Gees" "Beirut" Rachmanino v and now Belafonte - love hs old songs got criticised by a student for spelling thru as thru today i thought yes you are learning something in english well done yesterday at church might have been my last go at viola it will depend on how the chemo thing goes i hope it is not my last go i hope that palying viola is something i can do until i stop breathing no lois today she gets back on wednesday evening she is down in chch Belafonte up to a song called Mark Twain Samson my cat bit a couple of peple tonight after making himself comfortable on their laps a strange and independent minded feline used an electric magnetic machine invented by a guy called frolov tonight - an interesting stimulating and tickly experiencve another busy day tomorrow will see you some time it's 11.37 g'night.

Chemo - 3

Sunday.
Sunny.
Cold.
Busy church time, the 2nd episode of our Job series.
Job's friends sitting with him in silence for a whole week before speaking.
Companionship.

A fun game of monopoly.
Monica, Heather Ian, Alex, Sophie and me.
(Ian won, building up a swathe of properties working from the red ones thru the yellow ones to the green ones - not bad for a beginner!)
Apologies from friends with colds - thank you for staying away!

Watching House and Boston Legal (1st ever episode) on DVD.

Sorting out best time for a blood test tomorrow.

Wondering how the chemo will affect me.

Love,

G.

Music and God

Music existed before the creation of the world.

Not necessarily music as we know it, constrained as it is by the "timebox" of life we are all bound by while on this planet.

Perhaps music as a spiritual entity - something beyond physicality or sound, even.

Angels sang before the world was begun, continue to sing the songs of creation, glorification, redemption and power and will sing forever.

And "down here" on earth and in life, most of us respond to music as a means of communication - a communication which, in its purest form, is "beyond words" (this is not to rank instrumental music above vocal music/songs - indeed, some poets/novelists make a case for language being music).

And we musicians attempt to communicate the intangible, the spiritual, the emotional through our organisation or liberation of sounds (hence the diverging pathways of "structuralists" and "improvisors").

We attempt to communicate with other performers, with listeners, and with the Object of our Worship (i.e. God).

As with everything else existing in the timebound planet, our efforts are as nothing compared to how things will be in the Perfect Place - in fact, there are unlikely to be "efforts" as such - more likely realisations, awareness, discoveries - huge, rich, plangent, symphonic discoveries.

Until that time of Unending Discovery, I, and many musicians more accomplished, more aware, share with you our present delight, dreams, love and gifts.

Much love,

Gerald.

"The Secret Life of Bees" (book review)

...by Sue Monk Kidd, Viking Penguin, 2001.

This book tells the story of Lily, a 14 year old girl who runs away from "home" in Sylvan, South Carolina, to Tiburon, South Carolina in 1964.

She is a girl with a terrible secret she has been keeping to herself since the age of 4, and the journey of significance in the book is her internal journey from fear and guilt and torment towards a place of courage, hope and peace.

For me this was one of the remarkable features of the storytelling.

I have already mentioned the movie, which was impressive in itself, and effectively captures the mood and message of the book.

In the book we are brought into Lily's inner sufferings and consequent release in a powerful way.

It is as if, in the course of the plot, Lily speaks from an increasingly spiritually and emotionally mature perspective.

This is not carried out with apparent labour, but happens most naturally.

From early on the character of Lily, who tells the story (1st person singular) draws us into her world and her secrets, and of course her humour.

Serious issues are tackled - the civil rights movement and the racist backlash, physical and emotional abuse, healing from damaged lives, forgiveness, faith/religion and coming of age...but are tackled with lightness/delicacy of approach.

For me one of the poignant moments was Lily describing her first romantic feelings for Zach, not through a blow by blow account of those feelings, but rather through describing her physical disorientation.

The book is suitable for readers of all ages, though I guess 12 years would be a minimum age for the readers being able to "get it" - the storytelling is simple, characterful and warm.

What do the bees have to do with it?

Read the book and draw your own conclusions!

Gerald.

A Wet Winter's Day

Optician appointment with Alexander at 9am.
Marjan and Tante Stien arrived around 12pm.
Sophie - piano lesson, then after lunch out to movies.
Alexander out walking with a friend.
Around 4pm Stien and Marjan leave.
Tonight we will watch the final episode of 6 Feet Under.
Out for walk round the block in the dark.
Tomorrow monopoly at 3pm.

g'night.

G.

"Bridge Over Troubled Water"

This will be very brief.
A busy evening is scheduled.

Magic Pixies, are you there?
Lois and I are heading off to Tabou, in Kingsland, tonight, to celebrate my 47th birthday - Tabou has become a favourite haunt for both of us - excellent ambience, cuisine and service - very special.
Celebrating also the end of week one of work and ...er...the "joys" of chemo...

What a(nother) brilliant day!
Met with new teacher who is coming on board in week 5 - Lee Harford.
We will have a hugely interesting team of teachers in the Music Department (even more interesting than NOW!!).

Also, good lessons today - I have started a thing called the Friday Jukebox, where the students and I share our favourite music.
One of the tracks I played today was "Bridge Over Troubled Water" - if you snuggle down and listen to it very still, you will be in tears by the end of it ("Sir, are you all right?").

And, to top it all off, morning coffee featuring the best afghans in the world! (Still got room for Tabou food tho!)

Oh, and orientation for chemo...

Love,

Gerald.