Get on Board...

Today a combination of restfulness and peace and also anxiety and dread.
Great to have a visit from ex-colleagues Ian and Maureen, who came bearing much goodwill and yummy things.
We sat outside on the deck, and I received some "natural radiation treatment" from the sunshine.
My friend Maria brought more goodies, but came and went unannounced - I guess because I had other "official" visitors - the district nurse (still doing dressings on the wound) and a nurse from the cancer society - a very nice lady called Sheila, who left me with a good-sized wodge of "fascinating" reading material all about bowel cancer.
Some time between now and Wednesday 11.45am I suppose I had better read the stuff.
Wednesday 11.45am is my scheduled appointment with the surgical team, and naturally I find myself dreading this appointment, as it will not mince words or beat about the bush...part of my personality has never been that great at coping with bad news - I would much rather ignore it, deny it or distract myself from it - especially bad news about myself.
Perhaps this is one of the reasons why "A Time of Gifts" is so reassuring...beautiful descriptions, an air of nostalgia, eating and drinking merrily and wandering along the banks of the Great European rivers or into the mountains.
The book lifts the heaviness I feel, and which always feels at its worst in the morning (how lovely it would be to wake up and find the last few weeks have all been a bad dream, 'cos that's what it seems like)...
Managed to walk up (and down) the driveway today (for the uninitiated the driveway is a 300m, very steep, path, so this is not an insubstantial achievement)!