Thursday, April 30, 2009

Settling In

I know this place.
I know the "routines".
I know the students (sort of) and the staff.
It's all so familiar (my 11th year here after all).

But some things are not quite as they seem.

Background pain - a mysterious ache here, a sharp something over there.
And should things really be so easy/light?
After all, my time is running out quickly now - do I have any right to feel I belong?

Aren't I some kind of ghost?

Greeted and smiled at ("how are you?" "good, thanks!")...for the time being.
Am I not too "ill" to be doing something "normal"?
Shouldn't I just stop now, go off and crawl into some dark hole to await whatever will take me away?
Am I not pretending/kidding/fooling myself?

And yet something in the eyes of others tells me that I am not a ghost.

Something in my heart tells me that here is where I am and here and now is where I am supposed to be.

Doing my thing.
Breathing my breaths.
Singing my songs.
Struggling with my pain, fear, uncertainty ...like any other living soul on this planet.
(What makes YOU so special? 3rd nipple???)
Enjoying friends, laughter, coffee, sunlight (gorgeous winter sunlight that warms the heart even more while it is cold), music, teenagers.

Don't question the validity.

Dare to let go and enjoy...

Jump into the Ocean.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The 2nd day of School

School, school, school!

It becomes an all-enveloping environment!

One HUGE goldfish bowl outside of which it is impossible to imagine anything else going on!

Doesn't take long to get involved/absorbed in the affairs of school.

And each class has its own dynamics, rituals, codes, culture.

Each lesson seems to have a different flavour to it.

Then there is the external versus the internal.

The struggle with doubts, pain, stress, uncertainty on the inside and the co-ordination, conducting and coercion as one interacts with the class ont he "outside".

When I get home I tend to fall asleep pretty quickly!

Energy levels!

G.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

School - The Final Frontier

It is a wonderful thing to be greeted by so many smiling faces upon return to work, along with genuinely concerned queries of "Are you all right , Sir?"

It is a wonderful thing to be told by ALL members of the Senior Management Team to "take it easy" upon returning to work.

It is a wonderful thing to be treated to a special coffee, with warm greetings abounding once more, in the company of colleagues with whom there is mutual respect.

It is a wonderful thing to find that one's classes, once the work has been spelled out, are more than capable of rolling on with it with the enthusiasm one hopes they would have for it.

It is a wonderful thing to be told by one's boss "Your health is the most important thing to me."

It's been a beautiful day, from start to finish, leaving me thankful to my colleagues, my students, my family and friends and fellow bloggers, and to the One who put me on this planet and will eventually lead me into His house, into an even bigger welcome than I've already received.

Otahuhu College - it ain't Heaven, but it'll do for now!

I had a sleepless night - pain in the neck (I had discovered a "3rd nipple" (metallic) on my left side, which Toe Pune pointed out was probably for when they monitor me as they do the chemo), and the anticipation of the new day - sorry, Lois (but great to have a good book to read as well, more of which later).

Many good things, but I guess the best thing was hearing kids say "are you hear for good now, Sir?", and being able to say "Yes, unless I emigrate or God decides to move me on"...

Fa'afetai Lava
Malo Aupito
Kia orana,
Arohanui ki a koutou.

Gerald.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Explain "Tommy" To Me....

The op went well.
I feel a little like Dr Frankie's 1st attempt at playing God....
Especially after General Anaesthetic, you wonder where your original head is!
I will be in at work tomorrow, with a vengeance (hmm, suitable entry music for a Year 10 class???).
My throat gets dry quicker - just a post-op thing or something to contemplate for the future long-term?

Welcome to our new follower, Kirsty!

I have just had a lovely conversation with A and S regarding the Who's musical, "Tommy".
I think, for the first time EVER I have been able to make coherent sense of the narrative and explain the relevant social/contexts to others AND myself (if anyone is still searching for the meaning/significance/PLOT, drop me an email, tho if I get ENOUGH requests, I will blog it!).

"My Fair Lady", eat chocolate!!

Thanks to all who contributed in any way shape or form to my survival, nourishment, succour, joy etc. today - and the nurses and doctors who helped me at Ak Hospital were ab fab.

Home Group beckons (Church History from 600 - 1000 AD - "The Dark Ages").

HOW TO BECOME A FOLLOWER

To become a follower, all you have to do is click on the appropriate instruction/line in the side panel for "followers".

IT'S SO SIMPLE I DID IT BY ACCIDENT!

Love,

Gerald.

p.s. next "haircut" (i.e. potentially frightening/momentous/faith-inducing oncological occurence - YES! it's a euphemism!) Friday, 1.30pm at the Cancer Society.

Tomorrow 8.30am will find me in the Otahuhu College Staffroom, happily perched "like a Rose between 2 Thorns" (sorry, Ken and Peter - couldn't resist!!)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Job, Will Smith and Mr Monopoly

Sunday...

Church as usual.

Fred B. preached a sermon about Job - a character I find fascinating.

We had an appeal for people going thru Job-like times (personal disasters, crises, illness etc.) to go forward after the service.

As a muso, I get a bit stuck sometimes with this sort of thing, as I am usually playing when people "go forward".

Didn't worry about this today. Got down there in the front row (usually sit there anyway) and waited...and waited....

As sometimes happens, the appeal is announced, and then people stream out to get their coffees and socialise!

So SOMETIMES the person needing/wanting prayer misses out - a systemic failure?

Anyway, not today...today Maria Lethbridge (who is actually Dutch in origin) came up, put her arm around me, unofficially adopted me as her son, spoke warm and gentle words that brought tears rolling down, and prayed.

I was (and am) in good hands (Good Hands/God's Hands).

A big morning in church then...

Lovely lunch at home, shared with our friend Ian M. who brought the caving photos over - hopefully Lois will post them - they are NOT blackouts. Ian has a camera that takes great shots in the dark.

Boys downstairs to watch Will Smith save the world yet again, this time from aliens in Independence Day (if he earned a dollar for every time he saved the world...he'd be a lot poorer than what he is now!).

Richard S. came over from Devonport, accompanied by Peter his son (same age as Alexander), and bearing gifts - champagne (for tomorrow) and cake!

We FINALLY met and said hi to our new neighbours, Arvin and Irene - they are doing a spectacular job on their house (26B) and garden.

Still no written letters from Ak Hospital...

Next Sunday arvo Lois is off to Chch for 3 days, so the message is ......MONOPOLY!!! 3PM!!!!

Bring...a board if you have one, a drink and some nibbles and plenty of good humour!!!!!

(Have you ever tried playing the Waitangi Tribunal version of Monopoly???)

We may run scrabble as well....we will be playing strictly by whatever rules we decide on on the day!

(Just to explain...Lois, like many good and sane people in this land, HATES Monopoly, so her absence is the best time to play it with a bunch of other Monopolists!).

Please pray, send thoughts, energy, love, etc. to me tomorrow (admission 8am.........)

Love to you all,

G.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Portacath -2

A windy night and day in Auckland City.

The vW routine on a Saturday is to do household chores up to lunchtime.

Lois and I usually head out to Orvieto for planning our future (week, fortnight etc.)

But as today was ANZAC day we headed out to Columbus in Onehunga instead (a great building, with a good variety of places to sit, including a conference style room, and a courtyard for summer).

Today I trained Alexander in the mysterious and esoteric art of "hanging the washing".

He made a willing and adept apprentice - hooray!

Afternoon involved a Hilly Hillsborough walk with Lois (I am now at the stage of considering the weather, as I would not like to catch a cold once chemo starts!).

Have just had a couch potato session with Sophie, watching episodes of "The Simpsons" (2nd series).

In the episode "One Fish, Two Fish, Blow Fish, Blue Fish" Homer confronts his mortality, having eaten the "wrong" part of a blowfish in a Japanese Sushi restaurant.

He makes up a bucket list and proceeds to cross of the items, rushing desperately towards the end....

The episode is both poignant and hilarious, and if anyone would like to borrow it, let me know...

I have also been confirming musoes for the Psalms concert on 24th May, 7pm at Mount Roskill Baptist Church.

If anyone would like to come do feel free (the concert is free, and I will keep "preaching" down to a minimum....).

My old school friend, Robyn, who is now a Methodist minister (she followed in her father's footsteps) will be playing folk harp and singing as well, and there will be a power point display to accompany the psalms.

Hopefully the chemo will not have adverse side effects on my singing, fiddling or strumming.

Back to the fire!

Love,

G.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Lost in the Hospital (NOT the Supermarket)

Apologies for those who have been there and done that!

AK hospital stands as an architectural example of what Ak's local government could turn out like.

Bits'n'pieces, labyrinths, darkened chapels and cloisters of administration...

Nobody REALLY knows THE way (there is always more than one way).

A reception door that CANNOT be opened from the outside!

Not just one but TWO spiral staircases in the Oncology building (imagine being on radio or chemo treatment and facing this challege!).

No letters of appointment.

My route led from Wilson's car park up the windy pathway to the brick building with the one-way (exit) door - is that symbolic???

Thence to the warm, cosy, down-market pannelled room of Doctor Chris Sullivan (really friendly and reassuring - and he admired my stitches!!).

I left Lois in the onco building (she had work to do) and ventured forth to "Bloods" (any Southsiders reading this, it is NOT a gangster thing, okay?)...

From Blood Test to ECG - finding the right level, the right direction, the right building (favourite saying of hospital "guides" = "You will see a sign hanging down" - I tell you, if Jesus had been born in Ak hospital, the shepherds (and possibly the angels!) would have had NO CHANCE of finding Him - speaking of which, overheard in primary school nativity play "We bring you gold, myrrh...and Frank sent this"!)...

From ECG I was told to look for Theresa at reception, and she directed me easily back to onco.

A half hour appointment had somehow morphed into one and a half hours!

It's a Wilson's conspiracy...all done to ensure more money handed over at the check out!

Seriously, now...

Schedule (onco etc.) for next weeks...

Monday 27th 8am admission for portacath-insertion operation.

Tuesday 28th 7.45am join "gang of 3" and travel to O.C. for Day 3 (must check my timetable! And has anybody seen my briefcase??).

Friday 1st May arvo - orientation for chemo treatment, birthday dinner at Tabou with Lois.

Monday 4th May - blood test.

Tue 5 May - pre-admit checkup.

Wed 6 May - battle begins!! (actually, it'll be my Elvish mate Folfiri doing most of the work. My job, as far as I can understand it, will be to keep on going, crack jokes and give thanks for my existence, forgive those who trespass against me, and not be led into temptation...and YOUR job, dear blogfollower/blogreader is to pray (if you do), send love (if you haven't yet sent anyone love, START NOW!! don't wait till then!...it's FUN!), and little messages of comfort/encouragement/aroha (you've done a great job of that so far).

END CREDITS:

Today surprisedbyGerald gives thanks to:

Lois (right-hand person and chief firewood-stacker), Lorna (looking after my girl), Sophie (great company and laughs at my jokes!), Dan (Firewood Man), Dr Chris (REALLY nice guy!), Maria (keep the ginger crunch coming!), Rosemary and Malcolm (experts in visual arts AND the art of good company), Tony (plum jam jam-master), Ian (bringing my boy home safely after spending a week of foul weather with him exploring caves), Dave (warm welcome on the phone - looking forward to getting back to school) and today's emailers - you sure know how to keep an indolent man busy!!!!

Arohanui,

Gerald.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Great Galumphing Galoshes!

That is, things best not inserted in mouth.

These are better by far.





















L

Good News!

...I met with Gil Laurenson, my school principal, today, and agreed a return to work as of Day One of Term Two (which is actually day 2 on our 6-day calendar)!

I am really looking forward to this (to all you cynical colleagues reading this - all I can say is "You don't know what you've got till it's gone")!

No complications with this - we will take the complications that arise as they come.

I MAY have my portacath "pipeline" inserted on Monday - an all-day job with a general anaesthetic - but I DON'T KNOW because...I haven't heard anything.

This is the best news!

Then, later, I received a blog comment from the pixies (see blog from 15 April) offering to continue the generosity (? pixies, please correct if I am wrong).

As I have been using up sick leave and Lois is not yet in money-making mode with her business, our financial resources have been much more limited, so the advent of the Magic Pixies (I DO believe in them) is highly welcome.

Other really good things happened today, very much counterbalancing the stuff from Monday - too personal to share here.

Let's just say, today has been a brilliant day - thanks to Gil, Toe, Barbara, Chris F, Carol Ann B, Ric C, and the Pixies (no, I am not going mad and I haven't been on anything stronger than panadol).

Well, today WAS going to be about the Theology of Music, but that can wait till tomorrow!

Love and Gratitude,

Gerald.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

dying (hopefully not too morbid)

just a few thoughts.
we cannot choose the manner of our death.
we can sometimes (often?) choose the way in which we approach it...i.e. strengthen ourselves, call out in fear or pain or surprise or anguish...
our approach is something we have some control over, and is directed of course by our belief system re: death.

sometime i will tell you about some deaths i have witnessed - but not just yet.
spiritual things which i believe DO NOT DIE and which we must nurture in our own souls/spirits and eternal cores are: faith, hope and love (read 1 Corinthians 13 in the new testament, and you will see what i am "on about")...

we all know something of the second world war and the holocaust, and much more accomplished writers have given accounts of how the hope of victims/survivors/dying affected their "approach to death" (primo levi, anne frank, etc.)...

(listen to Oliver Messiaen's Quartet For the End of Time, composed while in a concentration camp and performed therein also, for an example of choosing to transcend one's circumstances)

i just wanted to encourage you, whether "religious" (covers a multitude of ideas, but we'll tackle that later) or not, to allow the areas of faith, hope and love to grow in your life starting NOW...these things remain (you can hopefully see how your parents' faith, hope and love have come thru to you and others), whereas your car, your money, even your garden and your house - even your physical body! - will slide away to nothingness...

lovely coffee with andy c. today.

annelies here cooking up a storm in the kitchen NOW.

tomorrow 8.30 meeting to talk about doing some more work at otahuhu college.

friday 9.30 am oncology pre-admit.

lots of love, faith and hope to all of you,

Gerald.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

hmm...

if anyone can post some clear advice to our fellow readers about how to sign on as a follower and/or post a comment that would be good, as people are getting stuck/lost/etc.

yesterday quite an upsetting day (not to do with the cancer thing, tho that has an impact i suppose)...

lois in sydney, a at waipu, s at auntie heather's (where i will head shortly)...

went to the movies and watched monsters v aliens this am - good fun!

wondering whether we will catch and kill the rats...

pensive love to you all (the best i can do at present!)...

G.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Some similes

Life is like...

food - savour each sweet and savoury mouthful.

sunshine - sunrise at the beginning, sunset at the end (and somewhere else the sun rising again).

music - melodies, rhythm, symphonies, harmonies, as players collide and commune.

electricity - mysterious, full of force, untamable yet sometimes we think we control it.

a fishbowl - all we experience is within the confines of our mortal bodies, yet something waits beyond.

a story - if it wasn't there would be few good books in the world.

exploration - we have a destination in mind, but who knows exactly where we are going?

poetry - rich, significant, potent and sometimes misunderstood.

a party - designed to be a cause for celebration and thanksgiving.

a gift - precious, well-intended, costly, special, highly valued and not given up lightly.

luv,

G.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Rediscovering the Old Routines

slumbering till 7.30am (this used to be "sleeping in")...
breakfast (toast today, a break from porridge)...
clean the pool (hooray - i have the strength and flexibility back to do this!)...
planning meeting at O******
back home and managed to leaf-blow the deck (Alexander finishing the porch area) and do some weeding...
hotcakes American-style for lunch...
drop Sophie off at Grandma's, visit Whitcoull's and use up my gift vouchers (3 Bond movies and a Ricky Gervais stand-up), pick up Daniel (nephew)...
3.30ish walk the hills with Lois and Katherine A (long-time pianist friend).
still to come - 6 Feet Under, glass of red wine, butter chicken...
Early start tomorrow, as taking L to airport at 7am.

Love,
G.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Enjoyable - Take No Prisoners

When you have a day like I had today, you can't help but be thankful and smiley and warm inside...
What a gift!

8.30am off to the West again, this time with Mike and Jenny B and Sophie, to go walking.
We drove around Laingholm, spotting parts of Jenny's old "stamping ground", particularly her parents' old house which has been shifted from one side of the road to the other (only in NZ!).
Then on to Nihotupu Dam walk which is closed Mon to Sat up to September, so back up to Arataki Reserve.
Kauri, Rimu, Nikau, Tui, Kahikatea, Rata...the smell of the bush!

12pm over to Peter B's homestead in Mt Eden, where we met also Katie, Paul, Mrs Brown (cat), several chickens and a rabbit.
Exceptional food and drink, prepared by an exceptional man...
Peter R also popped over, and between the 3 of us we solved all the problems in the world at least 3 times, whilst recognising it would take time...

4pm a visit from the McIntyre sisters - Coralie, Roseanne and Shona - a different kind of a chat, and a lovely one at that.

A candle from Coralie reading "Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away"...

And the night is still young!

Love,

Gerald.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

from football to funerals...

watched arsenal thrash villareal, 3 - 0 - thanks, Kerry.
nurse visited and picked up unused dressings, bandages, etc.
her daughter exactly same first 2 names as ours - thanks, Christi H.
by the way, Kerry has a website for his plays - it even features some of my music on it.
kerrylynchplaywright.com.
off to a place called PB supplies at 4 station rd, so alexander could buy disks that can be printed on and rechargeable batteries for caving.
lunch as usual.
walk round cornwall park - thank you, Lois..
visit ak hospital dietitian kerry mcilroy who affirmed my current diet and gave advice about what to look out for when chemo starts - thank you, Kerry McI.
stop in foodtown to have free sample of pinot gris and buy salmon for dinner (on special) - thankyou, colonel foodtown.
home to watch more blackadder (thankyou, alexander), eat psalmon - er, i mean, salmon - with spuds and broccoli and white wine (not the pinot gris) and episode 2 of 4th or 5th series of 6 feet under (hence "funeral" in title) - thank you, Lois.
receive delightful package from Lois's sister, Margaret and her family (living in North Carolina) - package contains Reese's chocolate peanut butter products and lovely cards from M's kids - thank you Reese, Wayne and Margaret, Schmitz children and Heather Smith (who was the "messenger").
i leave you all (tonight that is) with a little prayer of thanksgiving "from a fearful man"...

Dear Lord,
Thank You for today.
Thank You that I woke up breathing!
Thank You that both legs are still firmly attached to my body!
Thank You that my car did not crash.
Thank You that wasps, bees, mosquitoes and sharks did not plague me today.
Thank You that I survived my wife's driving.
Thank You that the house did not catch fire or fall down.
Thank You that terrible pains did not afflict me.
Thank You that none of my family or friends suffered terrible accidents today.
Thank You that I had no toothache...

For tomorrow...
Is it possible to have a rerun of ALL of the above??

Love,

Gerald.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

What an Unexpected Pleasant Surprise!!

Last night, as mentioned in yesterday's blog, the vWs went to our local Italian restaurant - Bosco Verde.

We all had a great time - the restaurant is pretty unfussy re decor but has great meals - and none of us had pizza!

Here's the thing - when the time came to pay for the meal, the waitress informed me that someone had phoned and paid for our meal in advance - there was nothing to pay!

So I went back and asked the others if they wanted desserts...

But we were either too satiated or too tired!

I joked that we could advertise a restaurant each night and a different anonymous friend could pay...

But seriously, whoever the magic pixie(s) was/were who picked up last night's tab, thank you heaps for this wonderful act of generosity!

Very special indeed!

Today the wasp man came to blitz our deck wasps but they mysteriously all disappeared!

Spent time talking to insurance companies/kiwisaver and preparing for the psalms concert.

Off to the Hofmanns tonight (minus Ollie and Matthew) for a meal and movie night.

Much love,

Gerald.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Oncology Appointment - Brief Report

The thing to bear in mind is that this is all new territory and NOBODY REALLY KNOWS how things will work out...
But that's life!

Things to tell you now...
Oncologist is Mr Paul Thompson.

He has recommended a course of chemotherapy called "folfiri", which to me is a delightful name - something Tolkien might have dreamed up when naming his Elvish characters...

This is a 2-week course, given 12 times, creating a cycle of 24 weeks (6 months!).
One of the chemicals sounded a lot like "Dom Perignon" but Paul assured me it wouldn't be nearly as tasty.

This will be administered by I.V. through a "portacath" which sounded like "portacaff" (I had a brief but delicious vision of me being able to dispense cappucino or espresso as I wandered amongst friends, colleagues, etc.).

This will be "wired" under my skin (play it, Cole Porter!) while I am knocked out, and the I.V. will be popped in on a Monday (usual day), checked on a Wednesday, then left for the rest of the fortnight.

Paul was very emphatic that it would be a good idea to go back to work, according to what my employer could accommodate (but I have books to read! blogs to write! concerts to prepare for! music to listen to!).

I will be talking about possibilities re: work next week.

Paul's prognosis revised my life max up to just under 2 years, IF the cancer responds to the chemo.

I was given a choice of two chemo treatments - folfiri or xelox.

Xelox is bound to lead to desensitising of nerve endings, including fingertips, and I do not wish to contemplate not being able to play viola or guitar or do other sensitive things so soon, so this is why I am going for folfiri.

Treatment will start in about 3 weeks, with a raft of appointment letters for orientation, preparation and THE THING.

So, after that we walked round Cornwall Park (beautiful), came home, I got thrashed at monopoly by Alexander (45 minutes???? I MUST be unwell!), watched an episode of Blackadder, had a visit from Walter M (colleague) who brought me a beautiful painting he's done (gorgeous colours), and Plonie (youngest sister).

As I write I am listening to the Blind Boys of Alabama - I will spare you the album reviews, as once I start doing albums I will have no time for anything else (life is tooooo short!).

Enjoying it though! (both Blind Boys and Life).

Tonight the vWs are heading out to Bosco Verde for some Italian food!

Yum!

G.

Monday, April 13, 2009

"Down Under" (review)

...by Bill Bryson, pub. 2000 by Doubleday (hardback).

What's NOT to like in this book - nothing!

Over the span of 315 pages, Bryson introduces us to Australia, biggest island in the world, and as he explains, the most dangerous (in terms of wildlife), the emptiest...a place of undiscovered treasures (still!).

Each chapter deals with a different geographical location, its environmental makeup, its distinguishing characteristics (at one stage Bryson gives an account of playing around with a new catch phrase for Canberra - "Canberra - There's Nothing To It!", "Canberra - Why Wait For Death?", "Canberra - Gateway to Everywhere Else!"), its locals, culture, significance - and although told in first person narrative, Bryson's stylistic trait, the research into these places is comprehensive, entertaining and extremely focussed.

The book cannot be put down, unless and until sleep creeps in upon the reader (or the need to refresh or relieve oneself)...never have I read a book which has made me laugh so much - there is at least one oneliner or hilarious anecdote per page (not that I counted them!) - except for the noticeable change of mood that comes in Chapter 13, which is Bryson's heartbreaking introductory essay into the history of and injustices meted out to the Aborigines.

I would love to be able to publish Bryson's description of cricket, but due to copyright reasons am restricted to telling you to read page 111...but don't stop there!

Read the whole darn book, AT LEAST ONCE.

Gerald.

Oncology - 1 Day/Alexander's Birthday

So, I will soon be sitting down with the oncologist (cancer doctor) to talk about treatment.
And all treatments and responses are unique.
And I am not sure what I will be told or how I will respond.
And it will be at 8.30am at Green Lane and last up to an hour.
And I hope I will get some time to do the stuff Lois and I have talked about! (long term plans)

And it is Alexander's birthday - he is 14 today.
Just finished Easter Camp, as has Sophie (hers is called E-camp).
So, tonight, chocolate cake with lemon icing.
Maybe a movie?
Family life returns to "normal"...

A lovely morning with Lois.
Checking out trails on the Piha/Anawhata Roads.
We walked down to and up from Whites Beach.
I have NEVER been there before - half an hour down a steep path (followed by half an hour up the same! Talk about exercise!).

A flying visit from Carol-Anne B today (colleague from work) who has made me a wonderful quilt - currently being displayed in the living room!
A less flying visit from Bruce B (ex-fellow-congregation-member-muso from Valley Rd) - we got down to the nitty gritty of talking about CHEMO.
And his Korg Oasis wonder-keyboard.

Till tomorrow then!

Gerald.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter/Resurrection Sunday

Another "early" start.
7.45am up.
8.45am to church.
9am practice, plagued by bizarre technical glitches.
10am service including sermon on Baptism segueing into a Baptism of 3 from one family.

I am wearing my special "Easter Jumper" - knitted by Lois as she waited for Alexander to be born.
A Kaffe Fassett (sp?) design of interlocking crosses all in different colours with contrasting colour borders on each cross.
People are used to me wearing colourful jumpers, but this one is special...

Off to O****** (guess where??) for a coffee, then back home for lunch.

I have a little niggly, kind of scratchy, pain (stitches?? something else??) still around my tummy so took it real easy today.
Sleeping at night is now MUCH more comfortable.

Finished Bill Bryson's "Down Under" (review coming up!).

Last evening without children - a quiet, comfy night in.

The message of Jesus's resurrection never seemed as urgent/relevant/important as today - because it is not only HIS resurrection we celebrate, but ours as well!

Love,
G.

Transcendence (poem)

TRANCE...
I find You here.
I fix upon Your unseen face.
I tune in to your silent Voice.
And the Warmth that comes from nowhere, and yet only One Person.
And You are fixed within me.

END...
the end of all that is seen and unseen...
beyond Omega
beyond the road less travelled
it's been a long and winding road
just to get Home.

DANCE...
My Dancing Partner, take me with You!
I lean upon You.
You know the steps, You composed the music,
This dance for You and Me.
Joy, sorrow, pain, healing, floating, flying...

TRANSCENDENCE
Before the Beginning and beyond the End.
The Place of knowing, discovery and remembrance.
Salt tears flow into life giving streams
All that has been lost, found and treasured once more,
You, beyond all knowledge and power, knowing me through and through ...
Finally!

G.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Sabbath

Not sure what else to call this day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.
Sleep in for both G and L!
Brunch at Orvieto.
An exploration to the West of Auckland, along the Huia Rd.
We decided to check out the heads of the following trails in the Waitakeres:
Parau,
Huia Dam (3 tracks here),
Karamatura,
Whatipu (2 tracks, and a walk to and from the beach).
Journey soundtrack = Queen: News of the World and Pink Floyd: The Wall.
Delicious porridgy lunch with feijoas, bananas and apricots (AND golden syrup).
Then sat down to watch The Passion of the Christ.
Harrowing but essential.
3 days to oncology appointment (8.30am Tuesday).
G.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Good Friday

Up at 6.30am.
Off to church at 7.40am.
Sophie off to e-camp at 8am.
Practice for service at 8.30am.
Service at 9.30am.

Played viola for this - good to be back into this.
When I play viola I sense Emmanuel (God With Us) strongly.
I am at once joyful/tearful/overcome.
I love it, and always pray that others will too!

Found a cafe open after church - planned some nice things to do over the next few days.
Watched the DVD of La Vie En Rose - biopic of Edith Piaf.
A tragic story - outstanding performance by lead actress though.

A walk round the "long loop" - Carlton St, Frederick Street, Taylor's Bay, Goodall Street (the cemetary always inspires conversations about "disposal" - for me, it will be cremation, by the way), Hillsborough Rd and back thru Hillsborough Primary - about an hour (and Goodall St is hard enough for cars in first gear, so I'm not doing too badly!).

Yesterday a fun afternoon of "invalided men" - visited by Moala Tuinuku'afe (colleague) recovering from knee surgery (rugby players!!), then out to Mike B (nice to be the one visiting for a change!!), recovering from carpal tunnel surgery on left hand (guitarists!), then back home and visited by Barry Robinson, recovering from knee/tendon surgery (athletes!!)...

And to top off the day yesterday a visit from Pastor Fred and Patricia Martin - Fred cooked us a delicious meal in our own kitchen - maybe (hopefully!) you have started a new trend, Fred!
And I for my part gave a very informal music lesson, while Lois chose the wine, cut fresh herbs and made fresh bread and Patricia took me very gently and encouragingly through aspects of my personal history (her Dad was in the British merchant navy at exactly the same time as my dad was in the Dutch merchant navy)...

So, yes, to all you foodies out there!!
If you would like to swap your cuisine for an informal music lesson/DJ session by a roaring fire, with good wine, submit your possible menus, and music requests/playlists to this blog!!
Lois is out of the country from Sunday 19 April to the following Thursday, so could use that time as a practice time for when she gets back!

Oh well, enough outrageous suggestions for now - tomorrow I am watching The Passion Of the Christ at 3pm - if you care to join me let me know - it is R16 and most definitely not for the squeamish - if you are a Christ-follower it will remind you of Christ's human suffering on our behalf - if not a Christ-follower it will probably raise a few questions about Him...

I'm off to Martini-time now, accompanied or leading up to another episode of 6 Feet Under.

Love,

G.

p.s. This blog was written to the aural accompaniment of Sinead Oconnor's album "Faith and Courage" which is WONDERFUL.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Pushmi-pullyu

Holding on to hope.

Letting go of - what ?
The small stuff - that sounds good. "Let go of the small stuff."

But don't you love some of the small stuff?

  • A sudden ray of sunshine on a cold, stern day.
  • An unexpected hug when defenses are low.
  • A beautiful mouthful of quality that gives texture, aroma, colour, relaxation, music (haven't you ever had a Brahmsian wine?), taste, and memories all in a glass.
Ok, getting carried away, but also good are warm slippers and a crackly fire on a cold night.
ButterChicken&Naan&Broccoli + 6 Feet Under + Gerald & Lois laughing.
vW celebrations with 2 children making pretty-funny-for-early-teens jokes.
Unrestrained laughter of a child.

I'm not sure I want to let that all that go. Not lightly, anyhow.

How about the big stuff?
The special people; the close family (a subset); the freedom, wherewithal and capability to explore this world and its people; our integral beliefs and values; the sense of achievement where a long difficult haul is rewarded ...

Many of those things require, in order to experience their fineness, "a fine mingling of letting go and holding on".

Lao Tzu, a long time ago in China, held that
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be".
Now we're getting somewhere.
A part of a Christian message - there is fineness beyond what we can yet ask or imagine, which cannot be acquired by grasping.

Best of all - as I
Fly through the air
With the greatest of ease
Between trapezes
Having let go of one but without
A handhold on the next
- I'm glad of the safety nets.

Here's one from last night - warm, together crowd, throbbing joyous "yes" music.




L

The Killers (review)

...at the Vector Arena, Wednesday 8th April, 2009 - supported by The Checks.

A family event!
A delight to attend this with Lois and Alexander, and for us all to enjoy the experience.

The Checks were on at 8pm (doors opened at 7pm).
I really like The Checks - a gutsy, dare I say "ballsy", rhythm'n'blues based band - this is the second time I've seen them play live (first time Big Day Out 2008) - they have attitude.

In fact, their lead singer, Edward Knowles, came across as a younger (doh!) Mick Jagger, prancing around the stage in an electrified-puppet manner (though I think some moves were probably influenced by Tim Finn).

His voice, once warmed up, oozed a laddish, throaty warmth that constitutes the main musical feature of the band.

The guitarists (2 of them) played their part also, and it was a joy to witness the "tribal" moments of the performance, with all 3 guitarists (including bassist now) and the vocalist congregating in the centre of the stage, guitars pumping up and down and hair appropriately flailing in synch.

They played 2 songs from the debut album "Hunting For Whales" - and of course "Take Me There" made new converts to the Checks account, while the new songs hint at a slightly darker, possibly more sophisticated sound (a bit Franz Ferdinand?) - the album is out on June 8, and I'll be looking for it.

Regrets? I had a few - the vocals mixed a bit low and the noise of the guitars a bit high, creating a bit of mud.

Also, overall I wonder whether perhaps Elemeno P might have been a happier choice for support act - they are generically closer to The Killers, and would have whipped the crowd up into singalong readiness with greater ease.

Not that The Killers needed that kind of support, as it happened!

Their songs seemed to do that easily from the word "go".

Living up to their name, they took the stage with both barrels blazing, launching into their fabulous, joyous hit "Human" with high energy and filling the Vector Arena with a spacious, epic sound that wouldn't be out of place in a stadium.

The audience went with them from start to finish - one hour and forty minutes of anthemic, catchy and (once more) joyous music.

What shall we label The Killers' style?
The closest I could think of would be a kind of amalgam of U2 and - wait for it - Abba!
Abba? Am I serious??
Well - yes, in the sense that their tunes are so darn catchy - even songs whose names I couldn't remember (and I have to confess to selling my copy of Hot Fuss, their first album, about a year ago) stick in the brain.

So, yes, on one level, Abba if they had got rid of the girls and Bjorn had rocked out on his guitar a bit more.

The songs do follow a compositional formula, and it works extremely well for all concerned (band, audience) - it is not stale.

Brandon Flowers, the vocalist, is the pixie-like frontman of the band - his performance was hi-energy and his vocal quality sits somewhere between Freddy Mercury (tenderness, emotion) and Bono (holler power).

Perhaps a major feature that differentiates The Killers from U2 is that with Flowers there is no trace of irony in his vocal delivery (contrast that with Bono's The Fly - stunning performance, but dripping with irony).

There was also, last night, no "darkness" in the performance, no brooding twilit songs of insurmountable sorrow, strife or turmoil - and The Killers last night did not appear to have the word "slow" in their vocabulary (slowest tempo was the piano-accompanied start of "Sam's Town", which lasted maybe 1 or 2 minutes before the band cranked it up again!).

Flowers was enjoying himself thoroughly from start to finish, as was everybody else in the house.

A few extra notes - the Killers' lineup expanded on the night, with a saxophone player (sounding good on the new songs, but mixed a little too low) and a keyboard/percussion/violin player, neither of which were introduced to us (watch your manners, guys!).

The lighting was effective - silhouetted tree shapes (like the Enchanted Forest in Disney's Snow White), direct colour changes effected by 10 panels suspended at the back, neon strips around the rostra, a letter "K" with about 30 lamps in it, and on the very last song of the 4-song encore (When You Were Young - with its "killer" catch phrase "He doesn't look a thing like Jesus"), flames that shot up and flames that streamed down - gorgeous.

Needless to say, there was quite a bit of smoke drifting around after the concert, as the audience itself drifted out to the tune of "Moon River".

Standout moments? The last song, but also the spine-tingling opener, and seeing the audience constantly jumping and singing and moving as one.

Downsides? Perhaps a little more talk from Brandon would have helped - perhaps not!

Many thanks once again to Marc Fountain and Roger Harper and their friends without whose support this sickness beneficiary would not have been able to attend!

A great night out for the family - for sure!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Here Comes the Rain Again

The cat asleep on the cane chair in my bedroom.
4.46pm and the need to ignite the artificial lights.
Gentle pattering sounds - the rain outside, the computer keyboard inside.
The donning of jumpers and slippers and longing looks at the firewood baskets...
The need for a hot drink.
Fickle memory - the sunny weather was only 2 days ago!
The deck has become a mirror.
Silent, wet sound.

Today so far - out to coffee (high tea actually) with Maria C. in Cornwall Park kiosk.
A visit from Robyn J. (ex-colleague from O.C.).
Out to lunch with Lois (Altar on Mt Eden Rd, named after the 300 year old Spanish altar which forms a centre-piece in the dining area).
A visit from Arthur F. (woodwind teacher from O.C.).
Sophie makes a flying visit - from piano lessons to an overnight with Grandma (due to the other 3 attending The Killers tonight).

Checking in for Tuesday

Apologies to anyone/everyone who may have missed my report yesterday.
It wasn't that I was heading into misanthropism.
It wasn't even that I had experienced some kind of unavoidable trauma.
It was simply that I...er...ran out of time (sheepish grins - after all, how on earth does it happen that a guy who makes every effort to maintain "gentleman's hours", gets taken out for coffee, naps in the afternoon and has no pressing commitments can make a claim for "running out of time"???)

Yesterday Geoff Wood took me out for coffee.
I have worked with Geoff for over 10 years - he is a music supplier (used to be heavily involved in Harbourne and Arthur), and, being the loyal and appreciative soul that I am, I have used his services for over a decade now.
Geoff is the epitome of a gentleman - he is extremely polite, considerate, discreet, and never has a harsh word to say about anyone.
As well as being a good bloke, Geoff and I now have a common thread other than music - cancer.
Geoff has been thru quite a bit of cancer and survived, and it was good to chat to him about stuff other than music as we drank down our coffees and munched our French pastries (Cafe Voila in Sandringham).

Of course, eventually the conversation touched on NCEA, and the proverbial red rag was spotted by the bull (Yours Truly) - my rant and rave was an abridged version of the usual vitriol on this subject - as I was in the presence of genteel Geoff, I didn't have the heart to cheapen our time together...
Though do feel free to respond to this blog with your own opinions and observations on NZ's most recent stab at fair and standard and equitable assessment (if anyone from NZQA is reading this, "bring it on!")

It was a lovely and special privilege to be able to drop Alexander off at the bus stop and Sophie at school yesterday morning (and today as well), and to pick Lois up from the airport.
Small things become more significant, and "significant" things become smaller.

The Killers are on tonight at the Vector Arena, and I am looking forward to them - great singalong songs with poignant messages - expect a review (I must remember my notebook).

Book review coming up of Bill Bryson's "Down Under" - I am very tempted to put some verbatim quotes on the blog, and every time someone visits, I find myself reaching for the book to read the latest hilarious extract to them...you have been warned!
I think I will post his description of cricket...no, it is not kind, but, yes, it is a real crack-up!
Oh dear, controversialler and controversialler...

Love,
G.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Feelin' Grroovy...

A lovely time yesterday with friends and family in the evening - a little bit train stationy but not unmanageable.
My sister Carla came down from Waipu yesterday and we spent most of today together.
It went something like this...
10am Carla arrived.
About 20 minutes later I received a "presidential visit" from Kate Gainsford (PPTA) and Barbara Hill (who, as my field officer, has been doing a wonderful job of sorting stuff out and brought by a Tom Lehrer cd as an added bonus).
12pm straight on to the visa entertainment website and got tickets for those "old friends" Simon and indeed Garfunkel.
Then out to Huia for a walk in the bush.
Gorgeous day, dappled sunlight, quiet forests, gentle gurgling streams, the calls of tui and bellbirds...
And of course stopping off for a coffee and icecream at the Huia store.
Carla and I had a big talk about our family, and in particular our parents...for me, all of my memories are connected with being here in NZ...
Carla's memories go back to Holland and Indonesia, and of course as the eldest child her relationships with my sisters is from quite a different perspective to mine.
Another beautiful day.

Do Nothing, Say Nothing, Be Nothing

Apparently this a good way to avoid criticism (Elbert Hubbard).

Sounds attractive. Kind of like pulling the sheet overhead, shutting eyes, just letting it all happen. How delicious!

Only ...

... not.

The stress of making decisions never appeals so much as when the decision seems made for you.
The complexity of life never appears so manageable as when it is simplified without one's consent.
Contentment, cosy-ness and hunkering down, relaxing with loved ones become far more attractive concepts when there is no chance of doing those things.
Freedom attracts the wild at heart - until those defining moments when new "freedoms" are granted without mercy.

We'll do, say, and be many things, us four.
Realising that dying and losing is something all humans do continuously, not just at the end of the physical life on earth.

L

Sunday, April 5, 2009

A Day of Rest

Sunday.
The day when the clocks have been shifted back, giving us all an extra delicious hour to stay in bed.
After a more uncomfortable night, I decided to NOT join in the music team and church.
I often need to get a second opinion for these things from Lois, as I tend to bounce along into what is first desirable or attractive, with little thought for the consequences thereof.
After church, which included a wonderful ceremony in which we burnt palm crosses as a token of being "free from sin" I took Lois to the airport - she is off to Australia till Tuesday evening.
From there it was on to the Baxter family birthday do, where we celebrated the birthdays of all those born in March and April - as usual, there were many children (including our own 2) and adults waxing philisophically/stoically on the joys of family/schooling/jobs/health etc.
Good to be with family for a while.
This post is heading out at 4.12pm as I listen to "Bad Brains Live at CBGB's 1982" (don't ask!) - once again the weather is Heaven-sent, and I am hoping to catch up with more rellies this evening...and hoping that I will be able to change my dressing okay tomorrow, let alone sleep well.
A lot to be said for time in which all one has to do is "chill out".
Looking forward to The Killers on Wednesday!!
Supported by The Checks (a North Shore band who I quite like).
G.

The Shack (review)

...by William Paul Young, published by Windblown Media, 2007 (paperback).

This is a book about God, life, death and the issues associated with these 3.
It is a novel which follows the physical and spiritual journey of Mack, from a place of huge personal trauma and grief to an endpoint of wholeness and hope.
After a couple of scene-setting chapters, which I found rather slow-going, the story takes on quite a profound character, as Mack is introduced to God as he (or we) have probably never experienced God before.
It is based on Christian theology, but pushes the boundaries of received knowledge about the nature of God and the meaning of life to the nth degree.
The dialogues which take place between Mack, God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit (though the names change a bit in the actual story) are reminiscent of C.S. Lewis, though with a more contemporary vocabulary feeding into them.
I would recommend this book - at least read it once! - as it will certainly challenge our religious/spiritual paradigms in a good way.
Thought-provoking and positive.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Saturday in the Park...

A quiet day.
Nice.
Sunny.
Sophie at cousin's birthday party.
Alexander snorkelling at Goat Island (thanks, Ian).
Walked around Cornwall Park with Lois, even up One Tree Hill - a good hours' walk (for me).
Lois out in arvo talking to good friend Susan.
Me listening to Bad Brains Live at CBGB's, reading The Shack, then chatting to Andrew S.
Very quiet.
Good.

"A Time of Gifts" (review)

...by Patrick Leigh Fermor, 1977, John Murray Travel Classics (paperback).

Life is too short to read all good books...therefore I have compensated with the belief that there will be a stonking good library in Heaven, where excellent coffee is served and there are luxurious armchairs to sit in as well (if we need or want them of course).

A Time of Gifts is a good book, and one well worth reading in terms of both style and content. It is the first of two books which recount Fermor's inspired journey, largely by foot, from the Hoek (corner) of Holland to Constantinople in 1933.

Fermor's style is energetic and fulsome - it is the literary equivalent of having a wonderful hunk of fresh bread and good cheese (Gouda???) washed down with a zesty glass of red wine...in fact, many of the descriptive passages are precisely about the food and drink of the journey, and the cultural contexts within which these elements are devoured.

There are also descriptive passages of the landscape through which Fermor journeys, beginning with his wintry welcome in Holland and finishing (in this book) in spring time in Hungary. With these landscapes, a suitable soundtrack would be provided by Schubert, Mahler and a bit of Beethoven (also some gypsy music for the Eastern European bits, if not Liszt/Dvorak/Smetana/Bartok).

Fermor's naivety regarding the brownshirts and the rise of the Nazis is poignant, honest and telling, almost more in what is left out or hinted at than what is included.

The book is not only a travel description of bygone and much-missed scenarios. It also deals with terrific humour with Fermor's interactions with locals, and his inevitable "being taken for a ride" experiences. I found the "Vienna" chapter especially funny.

It is a warm, good-humoured and balmy tonic for the soul. You do need to take time with it, but rest assured, your time will be abundantly rewarded.

GvW, literary correspondent, over and out!

Friday, April 3, 2009

"Such a Perfect Day"

It's been quite a day.
Up at 6.30am (usually 8am).
Off to school with Kerry and Theo at 7.45am.
Dawn Chorus practice of "Gilbert" (tune by Van Morrison, lyrics by van Waardenberg - the tune of Gloria) at 8 am.
Dawn chorus perform at staff briefing at 8.30am (ish), to rapturous applause and much laughter.
Gilbert is our principal's name, and he is travelling to the UK next term, amongst other things to catch Van Morrison live in Cardiff.
Go well!
8.50 period 1 - spent chasing up various students and meeting staff.
9.40 period 2 - meeting my Year 12 class, who all decide they want to perform to me!
10.30 - beautiful fresh coffee and muffins at B Block with Eileen and the Tech Department.
11.20ish - meet with Year 13 class - big hugs and tears at lesson end.
11.40 catch up with various staff - the school day is WAY too short to meet everyone!
12.50 meet with members of Super 12 (my special performance group) and other seniors - give them the "low down" on my current state.
A "wet" lunchtime due to the tears being shed by all.
1.25 walk up to staff room, collect 3 baskets of wondrous and wonderful gifts from staff and students (food, wine, cards, books, CDs and DVDs and candles and "readings" of poems and photographs), out in front of school, sing with students and pray and final big, warm hugs and tears...and Lois picks me up and off to Orvieto we go.
Sophie back from camp at 5pm with scars from trolley crash at school camp.
7pm wine cheese and crackers with friends...and much laughter!
It is now nearly 11pm...what a wonderful, full day!
Such a perfect day ...to all those who shared time and hugs and laughs and presence with me today, "I'm glad I spent it with you"....
And thanks to Lois for organising the evening!
Good night everyone.
See you tomorrow!
Gerald.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

"Don't Stand Around Like Friends At a Funeral..."

I love this line by Neil Finn (Crowded House).
For me, I guess it applies to not wanting to have people come along and be sad or funereal when talking to me.
I am not dead yet!
...and even if I was, I would want you all to know that I was in such a fantastic place of peace and goodness and wholeness that there were no worries.
My situation has never been hopeless, and it never will be!
The Peace is, phenomenally, still with me.
I have experienced this Peace (that passes all understanding) before - it is a wonderful gift, and you can't do anything about it except honour it and enjoy it...
Today has been another beautiful day of meeting with friends, writing stuff and listening to music.

Andrew C took me out for a drink at Orvieto (favourite cafe - they know Lois and me pretty well by now!), then we walked half way up Big King (an extinct volcano that overlooks Mt Eden/Three Kings/Mt Roskill) - the weather today stunning again.
We prayed together - sweet!

Christi Fountain dropped in a couple of delicious-looking gourmet tarts from Cafe on Eiffel, which, like the good boy I am, I promised I would share with Lois.
Christi does palliative massage, and has offered to come back and do some for me some time.

Adele Little dropped in bearing croissants, champagne ham (notice lack of comma!) and apple syrup (I had told her I was craving apple syrup, and she brought some along - however this was different from the "rinse appelstroop" the Dutch spread on their sandwiches like jam or honey - tasted good though!).

A surprise visit came from Robyn Allen-Goudge, an old school friend of mine who is now a Methodist minister and musician in Devonport.
She brought feijoas (my current fave) and a CD she made 11 years ago!
The CD is called "The Love I'm In" and features 12 songs, mainly devotional, in which Robyn sings like an angel and accompanies herself on guitar, autoharp, Celtic harp, and has a bit of support from a band at times.
I have already played it 3 times today - it's a very soothing, uplifting album - if you are interested in checking it out, go to robyn-g@clear.net.nz.
Thank you, Robyn!
I am hoping Robyn will join me in the psalms concert on 24th May...

A little break, with both Lois and me taking a nap, followed by a chat with Maria Carbines, also an old school friend...
Interestingly she had been visiting ward 78, near 76 (my recovery ward)over the last few weeks, as a family she knew were all seriously injured by a drunk driver on their way home from Muriwai.

I also received a phone call from a man called Jackson (Jack) Blyth who was with me in hospital, and who would like to meet up next week at his retirement village.
A lovely, interested and interesting man.

By the way, I am definitely open to cafe dates thru the week - either 11amish or 3pmish is good - while Lois is in the country she gets priority booking of course - there is a good selection of cafes round here.

And have you heard?????
Simon and Garfunkel are going to perform here at the start of June!
I will be keeping my eyes/ears "peeled" for the sale of tickets.
Paul Simon is an all-time favourite of mine....
That's about it for now - no champagne tonight (drank a whole bottle yesterday - first time in my sheltered life), back to the red wine.

Molto amore,
Geraldo.

"Conchology"

...for Gerald...

coiling and recoiling like a seashell
your mind spirals up from the black beach
where voices swell and break into your dreams
and breath scuttles sideways from cell to cell

here on this high bluff carve your fishhook
and cast into the waves a line of stars
to snag whatever new words rise to meet you

kai moana koru aroha


Helen Sword
March, 2009.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A Visit to Green Lane Clinical Centre

We've been and gone and done it.
We met with a member of the surgical team.
Bottom line talk now: worst case scenario, if the cancer (officially called bowel cancer cos that's where it all began) does NOT respond to treatment, I have about 2 months left to live.
If the cancer DOES respond to treatment, I could have up to 1 year to go.
And of course you never know...
Miracles can happen.
Next week I will most likely meet with the oncologist, with whom I (and Lois) will discuss the nature of the therapy.
During and after the meeting I have been filled with a deep sense of peace - many thanks for your prayers, lifting me up and carrying me this far, as it were.
After the appointment we went to a cafe and enjoyed delicious drinks and scones, then walked it all off in Cornwall Park (managed to do a whole circuit - NOT up the hill!!)
I met Vic Burrows (ex-MRBC) at the clinic - he is preparing for a hernia operation.
He told me about a near-death experience he had last year (heart attack).
He also prayed with me before the doctor came - thanks, Vic!
Peace, joy and love be with us all.
Gerald.

When you're scared to look ahead

... and it hurts to look back - look beside you; your best friend will be there.

Shift mode to some humour - always look on the bright side of life:


L