Steak! Wagner! Moomins!

Lois fried some steak.
Dr Thompson said stay away from rich stuff.
Probably causing me cramps.
This steak was beautifully cooked and I didn't need much - yum!

Wagner takes a long time.
Rumpole (who we are watching at present) said "Wagner's music is better than it sounds"!! Cheeky man...
Goetterdaemmerung indeed...

Reading my very old Moomin books at present, by Scandinavian (Finnish?) author Tove Jansson.
Quirky, humorous, naive and delightful - do read one if you haven't already!
Great for kids (an older age "Babar").

G.

When Dreams Die

Some people talk about dream death as though it's a natural thing.
I don't believe that.
For a dream to die, you need to kill it.
Quickly or slowly.
Intentionally, though maybe subconsciously sometimes.
Poison, stabbing, machine-gunning.
Usually you kill your own dreams before you even share them with someone.
Sometimes, though, you allow others to join in the ritual slaughter.
The good news is that dreams can live as long as you, and in many cases beyond you...when the dream is caught by another dreamer, and becomes a shared dream.
So take heart...EVERY dream you've ever had is still alive, unless you've killed it...even those from childhood!

Joy, Pain and Scrambled Egg

Early morning down to Labtests - things have improved so much there after the teething troubles - my phlebologist is usually Pania, and today's sting didn't hurt one single bit.

On to school - early morning in staffroom sipping a hot chocolate and checking the checklist.
We have a student teacher, Naomi D, starting with us - a bass clarinettist who studied post-grad in Rotterdam.

Today's game "The Pro's Progress" - aimed at getting students to focus at all times on the task at hand and longterm - yields interesting results (and reveals many year 12s to be a bunch of Ams - amateurs).

3.10 dash off to Sophie's school for a half hour of speed dating - I mean, parent teacher interviews at 5 minutes each (all in the hall).
So many positive comments about the young lady's settling-in and progress - big feelings of pride and gratitude.

Home to dishes, pool-skimming, washing sorting and...yep, here come the cramps again.
Sorry, Alexander, have to miss the meal you "fixed" for us - hopefully next Monday?

Take my moaning and groaning self to my bedroom and after rolling around for a while, call cancer ward 64 and ask for advice.
Nurse recommends buscopan, which I KNOW is sitting on the windowsill, courtesy of one of Lois's old ailments.

Pills duly imbibed, children into bedrooms, wife returns, eccentric request for scrambled eggs on toast fulfilled, episode of Law and Order gulped down, time for blog and bed.

What will tomorrow bring?

Panadol, Motilium and pain...

The pain hasn't been that bad today.
What happens is a kind of cramping up in the gut.
When I get that pain or the anticipation of it, that's when I begin my dosage of panadol and motilium.
Panadol for the pain, motilium for the nausea...
Hard to spot the difference between nausea and pain...
I have had good sleeps, with the shoulder pain retreating more into the background.
Today I went to Sophie's chapel service and really enjoyed it.
The choir sang well, we read a poem by Joy Cowley (NZ writer) likening Jesus's visit to Jerusalem to a trip down to Wellington.
The chaplain spoke about Bishop Romero of El Salvador.
The only thing was...the congregational songs were set for girls' voices, so I found myself either singing up high in falsetto or growling down in the bass...hmmm..
The organist was Sophie's music teacher, Mr Allan, and he played us out with "All You Need Is Love"...

Sisters....

I am blessed with 4 sisters.
Carla, Marjan, Joke and Plonie.
All older than me, Plonie by a mere 8 years.
Most had left home as I wended my way thru adolescence.
So being spoilt wasn't really in the picture as much as being solo.
Carla has 2 daughters who are only about 5 years younger than me, and in many ways I feel as close to them as if they WERE sisters.

Today Marjan flew up from Wngtn and out to London.
Plonie and I went to visit her in transit and had a meal at the Toby Jug (in the airport neighbourhood).
Carla rang this morning, and I plan to visit Joke in the first week of the hols.
Why am I sharing this?
I was struck today by how important it is yo be mindful of family connections - not because they are fun, useful, helpful, etc. but because they ARE.

Rootedness.

Bon voyage, Marjan!

The Cure

There may be A CURE for cancer.
There may be no cure.
Beware of American businessmen claiming they know EXACTLY what to do and how much it will cost (an arm and a leg)!
One may be healed.
One may waste away.
Death WILL come.
Eternal life WILL follow.
Peace.
Of course drowning men clutch at straws!
We are expected to clutch at life as we know it while we still have it.
Then Peace.
And the end, and the new Beginning, WILL surely come, as sunrise follows sunset.

plus and minus

plus:
still able to drag physical self into work
no diarrhoea (yet!)
no neuropathy!
no loss of taste sense.
able to sleep sometimes.

minus:
more "cramps"/nausea
tireder
able to go one step at a time
lots of good reading
mental faculties/sense of humour still basically intact

G.

ps - whoops - just realised my minuses aren't particularly minusy!

hmm...

Wednesday: 5 out of 10

Had a good night's sleep.
Woke well and managed to eat some breakfast.
Lessons at school good buzz.
Nausea/tiredness set in with PUM (paid union meeting).
At home resting now.
Van Morrison live album providing buzz/comfort/inspiration.
Felt so supported by colleagues these last few days.
Caring/concerned/active/understanding.
School still a brilliant place to be!
Is there another school like this one?
It feels sooo special!

G.

"The Road" (book review)

...by Cormac McCarthy, 2007.

A bleak, powerful, compulsive, tragic and beautiful novel.
Its power lies in its simplicity - of structure, language, expression.
It reminds me of one of those delicate, understated Japanese line paintings.
It relates strongly to the Ballard "Drought" and Atwood "Year of the Flood" novels.
Unlike Ballard or Atwood, however, McCarthy's art lies in the space created between the words, not in the detail that fills in the nooks and crannies.
It is a novel about apocalypse, death, fear, trust, history (in the broad sense of remembering), survival and yes, some magic moments too.
The road - a timeless metaphor for relentless journeying, destiny, pathways to and from nowhere...
I wonder how well the recently released movie will capture the atmosphere of the book?
A lot will depend on the soundtrack, and also the acting of the 2 leads - father and son.
After one page I wasn't sure I had the courage to continue with the book - by the end of it, even though the sense of loss increases and causes greater pain, the beauty of the relationhip, and the inevitability of the journey, had successfully dragged me through 300 pages in 3 days.
Don't read this book if you're in the mood to be entertained!

10/10.

What's Going On 4 - warning: uncomfortable...

The chemo seems to be kicking me about more.
Maybe I'm over-reacting psychologically.
It's hard to know.
Finding little things harder to manage.
Not enjoying the thought of busyness.
Currently enjoying a more relaxed afternoon.
Plans put on hold on a day-to-day basis.
Scoffed more motilium (anti-nausea pills) than last time.
Not prepared to put up with queasiness.
This darned sore shoulder!

G.

"Have A Little Faith" (book review)

...by Mitch Albom, 2009.

Albom is the same author who wrote "Tuesdays With Morrie", a memoir of the last days of an old college professor dying from Motor Neurone Disease.

This book was a very timely birthday gift from my mother-in-law, Lorna.
Timely because it deals with the big issues - death, God, saying goodbye, community, faith, love.

It does so by telling 2 stories - one is about Albom's Rabbi who asks him to write his eulogy, and the other is about Henry Covington, a man who converted to the Christian faith after a wild, dangerous and dark journey through youth.
In telling the stories of the Reb and the convert, Albom tells his story of increasing awareness and faith.

The strengths of the book are its structure (short passages flicking from one life to the next, eventually tying up at the book's conclusion) and its lightness of style.
It doesn't dwell in sentimentality, or preach from the pulpit.
It tells us of two lives, their weaknesses/strengths/quirks and the triumph of their faith as they struggle with the big issues.
Many was the time I wanted to print one of the Reb's messages, but I have no desire to breach copyright - I'm happy to lend you the book if you're interested.
A goodhumoured, generous, positive tome with plenty to encourage and inspire.

9/10.

"Alice in Wonderland" (movie review)

This is not going to be everybody's cup of tea!
I strongly suggest you prepare for the movie by reading both books (Wonderland and Looking Glass), and then erasing with whatever hallucinogenics are at hand your memory of plot or sequencing.
Because the movie is a delight!
But you need to know the characters, and at least some of the poetry, to get a handle on where Tim Burton's coming from.
This is Alice seen very much through Burton's looking glass, and what a psychedlicoscope that glass must be.
The characters are wonderful - a top cast of actual actors and voices...
Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham -Carter are staple Burton material (does anyone remember the ravishing Bonham-Carter in "Room With a View"? Burton and Bonham-Carter must have a STRONG relationship, based on the roles he's given her!), and there are some wonderful cameos from Alan Rickman, Christopher Lee, Frances De Latour, and MANY others.
Visually the movie is a gorgeous glide through fantasy land.
Message-wise, this is one very much for the right-brainers - go with the flow and dare to dream your dream, and DON'T marry someone just for convenience's sake!
On a downer, I think it's time for Burton to drop Elfman (soundtrack composer from way back) - the soundtrack seems simply to fill in, and doesn't add to the movie a great deal.
So, who would enjoy this movie?
Not particularly young kids (show them the straightforwardly mawkish 2D original instead).
Kids with imagination and literary leanings...no matter what age.
In short, people ready to sit back and enjoy the ride!

9/10 (but approach with caution).

Ca Plus Ca Change....

I think there probably need to be some little squirillic signs in that title.
So, back into chemo today.
After a sleepless night and some diarrhoea.
Not a great start to 6 months of toxic drugs thrashing around in your system.
The Maori parking warden (who has apparently been on the Holmes show as a real good bloke - and he is!), recognised us from last time.
So did the receptionist, who asked if I was back in for treatment and expressed disappointment when I said yes.
As did the nurses.
Well, there we are then.
Onwards and hopefully upwards.
Decided to rest as much as possible when I can.
Some of you are possibly still waiting for responses to your blog mails - they will come (I haven't lost them!).
Alice was interesting - review coming some day.
Mooched in Real Groovy and found a Van Morrison CD I love but don't have at present (my copy always seems to be given away - this time I had to wait for ages to get a replacement - most shops only specially import St Dominic's Preview now).
Still snuffly.
No signs of the neuropathy yet, EXCEPT my first sample of a new piece of food or drink sends a tingle through my tongue.

Till tomorrow,

G.

The Night Before Chemo

Tired.
Tiring day or just fed up with "this"?
Looking forward to...
Feeling better.
Doing something.
Socking it to the cancer!
Going to the movies in the afternoon.

Wondering about...
Peripheral neuropathy.
Nausea.
Diarrhoea.
Hair loss.
How long I have left........

One day at a time...
Tomorrow isn't even here yet!

Solidarity!

This evening I attended a Presidential Dinner!
That is, the president of PPTA, Kate Gainsford, came up to Auckland and members of the Auckland Region attended the dinner with her - somehow I managed to get myself booked into the dinner as well!
The dinner was superb - we had it in the back room of La Bocca, an Italian restaurant at 251 Parnell Rd - we chose from a set menu (logistically sensible) and I had a pork belly on a bed of pear and raisin-sauce covered mash.
Delicious!
I've been thinking about my Union leanings over the years, and why it's important to me.
I guess it's important because the rights, pay and conditions of workers are extremely important to me.
And I can't stand bullying, prejudice, unfairness or exploitation.
Having been on the receiving end of bullying a couple of times in my career and even before that has helped me to develop a resolution that I will not knowingly stand by and see others bullied.
The socialist aspect of unionism also appeals, and I find it harmonises fully with my Christian faith (while realising that many socialists actually diss any faiths because of that intangible, spiritual aspect which can be problematic - for me it works if I call myself a Christian socialist, with a capital C and a small s).
The meal was lovely because it was an opportunity to meet with/reunite with other like-minded teachers - I found myself quoting Keith Richards (Rolling Stones guitarist): "It's good to be here - it's good to be anywhere!"

Home Group

A home group/cell group/bible study group is a subdivision of the larger church.
Meeting as a small group allows for enhanced relationship-building, in-depth study (well, more in-depth than in church - more opportunity to ask questions), and prayer support.

I have been a member of this home group since 2005, and although there have been comings and goings over the years, we have remained incredibly stable.
As you can imagine, when it comes time to pray, I have always had something to bring up for the group - some prayers for other friends, some blatantly for myself and the various crises I have been through since 2005.

The neatest thing is that these folk have ALWAYS been there for me.
It's exciting to look back through our Prayer Journal and see the ways in which our Father has answered our prayers.
Miracles have indeed happened, and I know they still can.
Will my prayer for healing from cancer be answered in a way which pleases me?
Who knows?
Does that stop me from asking, from expecting?
No way!

So, thanks to the guys and gals in my home group - Mike, Jenny, Stu, Maree, John, Andrew, Heather, Aniel, Netta, Tony, Bert, Steve, Rachel, Eric, Janna - for their faithfulness, loyalty, gentleness, commitment, lack of judging, friendship, hugs, tears, sharing.
This has made a real and strong memory for me and my family.

Love,

G.

Cats

I love cats!
Warm, furry, purry bundles of energy.
Character!
And they stay small - they don't grow into big hulking adults.
They are immediate - hunger, affection, danger.
It all happens NOW.
They don't seem to bear to many grudges (as long as there's food).
They teach you about unconditional love.
Probably dogs are kind of similar, just smellier.
I like the tail-wagging thing with dogs.
But dogs can't purr, and their eyes don't glow in the dark...

Cat Poem (thanks to Sarah L for posting this to me)

Today



the cat invited me to sit in the sun

he’d found a dried leaf on the warmed concrete

and crushed it under his dusty fur

with scooping movements of his strong back

licked his fur with paws poised in the air

listened to footsteps on the next door gravel

a cloudy thought went through his sunlight yellow eyes

laid himself out all tousled fur and cobwebbed whiskers

today he will follow the sun



Jennifer Compton

"One Step Beyond..." (CD review)

...by Madness, 1979.

We'd had punk, we'd had new wave - now it was time for the new ska wave, brought to us by The Specials (Message To You, Rudy), The Beat (Mirror in the Bathroom), The Selecter (Missing Words), and of course the 6 and only Nutty Boys, Madness!

OSB is their debut album, and is sheer, unadulterated, goodnatured fun - from the catchy, goofy title track, through the wistful sitcom scenarios of "My Girl" and "Bed and Breakfast Man" (echoes of Kinks, premonitions of Blur), to the - well, let's face it - nutty signing-off a cappella "Chipmunks Are Go".

In keeping with the true spirit of ska, no existing tune is sacred enough to be spared from ska treatment - here the theme from Swan Lake is given its own rudeboy rendition.

The album is produced by Langer and Winstanley, who by now have an amazing track record of studio successes, but were really just beginning, 31 years ago (ancient history, eh?).

The result is a rich and fulsome sound, with plenty of punch, ensuring that the album has withstood the tests of time and digital remastering extremely well - in fact, sometimes it's a little TOO polished.

Maybe the nutty boys weren't all that nutty, and didn't always walk closely in tandem, live in the same house and walk funny - I'm sure they didn't always laugh and have a great time.

The thing is, it's difficult to find evidence to the contrary - and that joyous spirit of ska '79 stays with us today.

9/10.

"A Walk in the Woods" (book review)

...by Bill Bryson, 1997.

You may recall that I wasn't overly impressed by "Neither Here Nor There", the last BB book I read, about his journey through Europe (though I have talked with people since my review who really liked that one - proof that one size does not fit all!).

In my book, this reading makes up for the last one.
Though it must have taken considerably more energy and prep and sheer blood, sweat and tears to put this one together.

There is an impending sense of doom pervading the first chapter, in which BB makes his momentous decision to walk the 2,500 miles (approx) of the Appalachian Trail, a wilderness walking trail running up the East of the USA.
The sense of doom increases when BB introduces us to his childhood friend, Stephen Katz, a walking health hazard (cholesterol, blood pressure, obesity, a propensity to eat donuts, laziness and a twisted sense of humour).

Of course, it is the very sense of doom that fuels the humour in the travel account, and one cannot help but be impressed by BB and Katz's tenacity as they near the end of their mission.
The development of their relationship is for me the heart of the story, though the encounters with various wildlife and AT trailmaniacs, and BB's backgrounf info on sections of the trail add much colour.
Yet another book which gets you chuckling/laughing out loud.
A MUST for anyone who has ever been camping/hiking or even thought about doing it and decided (wisely?) against it.
A great last line, too!

10/10.

"Sherlock Holmes" (movie review)

Last Tuesday I went off to The Hollywood cinema, a childhood haunt, where the school volleyball teams were hosting a fundraising screening of this latest incarnation of Sherlock Holmes.
I can't vouch for literary or even historical accuracy, but I can tell you that the movie makes for a great night out, in a boy-ish kind of way.

The plot was thrilling and intriguing - full of twists and turns (James Bond could learn a thing or two).
The performances were deeply engaging - Robert Downey as Holmes and Jude Law as Watson exude a magical aura, and appear to be very at home in each other's company (a lesson here for Batman and Robin).
The production design was superb - and though there were plenty of special effects, they didn't swamp the storyline (Avatar - take a cue).
My favourite bit was a scene in which a ship self-launches into the Thames following an all-out chase/fight/debacle/thingie - spectacular!
I loved the soundtrack too - European gypsy music underscored many of the chases - not necessarily true to the locale, but highly refreshing!
Superb cinematography and a succinct script - Robert Downey/Holmes just needs to work a bit more on his violin playing (I am sure Dr Watson agrees!).
In short, I loved the movie, was grateful to have seen it on the big screen (though the sound system ain't too flash), and am hoping that there will be a sequel - soon!

10/10.

What's Going On - Part 3 (public health warning - contains ruminations on life, death, etc.)

With the pain and discomfort and so on, sometimes it is easy to, albeit superficially, wish it was all over.
And yet I know that is not my call.

Yes, some countries these days allow euthanasia, or even stepped-up medication, in order to ease one's passage to...where?
My faith does not allow me to do that (euthanasia, that is - "pain management" I can live/die with!) - I believe that God will take me when He's ready (and hopefully when I am, too!).
So - what IS the point?

The point is...to celebrate the life that is here, to share it with others, and to honour it as a gift from God.
I am currently reading a profound book entitled "Have a Little Faith", by Mitch Albom, who wrote a similarly profound book called "Tuesdays With Morrie".
This current book features the life story and insights of a Rabbi.

One story I will share now is how in Israel, when there are car bombs that go off, there is a group of volunteers who zoom to the scene of carnage and rush around putting all the bits of the victim's body into a plastic bag - the belief is that life is a gift from God, and every part of that recently dead person's body is to be honoured - "you don't leave the gift of God lying in the street".

Life is precious - a gift, which, I believe, continues and transcends the physical limits of this world as we know it.

So why don't we WANT to die, in order to move on to the better place?
Simply because life IS precious - also, we are kind of used to what we know and mostly love (and it's amazing how much we put up with, too!).
Hope that wasn't too heavy for you all - but then, I did warn you!
G.

"Mao's Last Dancer" (movie review).

Remember what I said in the last review about Hollywood movies??
This is another one of 'em, and has all the best and worst of that wellspring of saccharine cinematography...

This is one that ballet lovers possibly will love - great shots of feet, legs, torsos, jumps, pointwork, etc. (though I reckon that scene in Cirque du Soleil's "Journey of Man" 3D effort about 10 years ago, with the 2 entwined dancers, is hard to beat...)

I kept saying to myself, over and over as the movie progressed, "it's not that bad, it's not that bad", referring to the caricature of Communist China, the moment of choosing to defect, how good America obviously is, etc.

But it WAS that bad...sorry...

The movie is almost redeemed, strangely enough, by the acting performances of the supports - Li Cunxin's mum and dad as they face angry communist party loyalists back home, Kyle Mclachlan as an immigration lawyer, the Chinese Consul, the Ballet Director, AND by the ultimate ballet scene of the Rite of Spring.

But it is painting (or filming) by numbers.

Bruce Beresford has made better movies, as I recall, and although Hollywood-wise this is very satisfying (like diet coke), artistically it has air bubbles (like...)

I would LOVE to read the autobiography some time and see if the movie has twisted it.

But, come on, America (and Australia, a little bit)! Get over China already!

By the way, some of my best friends are American or have lived there, and are also very critical of the Hollywood syndrome - I am not generalising, I feel, when I lay into the Hollywood culture - am I?

5/10.

Happy Anniversary/Birthday

So, this time last year I first wrote to you all!
So much has happened over that year...
And so many different thoughts/feelings/prayers/mindsets/mini-adventures.

A year ago all that was certain was that I had cancer.
Lois was unsure of where she would be going and what she would be doing.
Now, she is in year 2 of her law degree.
Alexander is well and truly embarked on his academic journey.
And Sophie has entered her teens.

She is thriving in her school situation too.
Both "kids" seem to have grown up sooo fast.
I will always remember sitting on the see-saw with Soph.
Her favourite thing was singing "see-saw Marjorie Daw" which she would do with an intent look on her face...
And her constantly laughing, chuckling expression as a pre-toddler...
Everything always such huge fun!

Happy Birthday, Sophie!

Where To Now?

Tomorrow this blogsite will celebrate its first (and last?) anniversary (1st post entitled "Golly", for those who may be curious to check back as to the "origins" (I love doing this myself, which is one of the reasons I like episodes 1-3 of Star Wars...this also reminds me of a magical time when I went to Holland when I was 10, and one day went exploring in my Auntie's attic, AND discovered the very first instalments of the Trigan Empire, a wonderful sci-fi fantasy comic strip - if there are any generous millionaires out there, the whole series has recently been re-released in a set of hard-covered books - reasonably pricy, tho!)...

Sophie will be 13! ("Seems like only yesterday", etc. etc.)

And I will be 5 days away from commencing my second (and most likely last) chemo battle with the powers that think they are...

Assessment Tue, infusion Thu and pump off on Sat.

Andy and I (andyandi) have already planned which movie we're gonna try to get to (Alice), and thought we may forego the costumes this first time.

If anyone has suggestions for themes, let me know...

I am experiencing mixed feelings about it all (surprise, surprise!) - happy to be doing something which may kill the pain and discomfort for a while, sad because it looks like the end is indeed drawing nigh, frustrated because I have plans/dreams for stuff I'd still love to do - and the realisation of these plans seems to get postponed/rescheduled constantly, and needing to believe that all is good and God cares and God is in control (and wanting to shout at Him where does He think He is???), and tired!

Have had some incredible chats with my students today - we start off by talking about unfairness and not-rightness, and this moves thru to talking about the tsunami (and each time I uncover yet another story of human loss).

But I have learnt fairly early on there's no point in asking "why?" - that's a recipe for doing your head in, if there was one.

My home group is studying "Daniel" still, and I do take heart from the story of the "4th Man" in the fiery furnace and Daniel's miraculous survival of the lions.

Where to now?

Into the furnace/lion's den/chemo battle/uncertain and dangerous future...

Divine Presence (AND human) gratefully accepted.

Love,

G.

Be Here Now

The hum of the fridge.
The gentle gurgle of the dishwasher.
Silence after Rachmaninov.
A single light shining from the other side of the valley.
Phantom straggly, shaggy leaves and branches beckoning mysteriously.
The grey-blue computer rectangle screen.
Defined box of light beyond which lies the darkness.
The semi-austere dining chair - suede-ish leading to a firm seat boundary.
The premonition of nausea.
Stillness and anticipation.

"Blind Faith" (book review)

...by Ben Elton, pub. 2007.

Ben Elton has informed the British sense of humour ever since scripting the Blackadder comedy series (and perhaps even before this).
His wit is incisive, though sometimes at the lower end of tastefulness.

"Blind Faith" is a dystopic novel, along the lines of Ballard and Atwood in terms of plot, but perhaps aiming more to be a comic version of "1984" (along the lines of Terry Gilliam's movie "Brazil" - highly recommended).

Therein lies the problem of the work - it is both satire and tragedy, featuring Elton's trademark stoicism (remember the very last Blackadder episode?).

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry, and found myself doing both at different times.

The book is one for churchgoers to read and to take heed from - how often do we give ourselves not in fact to God but into the hands of those who either wittingly or unwittingly may manipulate our goodwill/faith? (viz Destiny Church)

It is also a warning about the times we live in - times where the value of privacy is constantly under attack (viz. this blog! any blog!, facebook, bebo, youtube, etc.).

The quality of the writing is not in the league of Ballard or Atwood - this is the book of someone needing to get their message out and doing so without any particular literary subtlety.

It's a good book though - an infectious yarn, and ripe with political/moral issues.

8/10.

Walter's Amazing Sandwiches!

Walter M teaches guitar at O.C.
He has been doing it since long before I got there.
He is also a flautist, artist, architect and general Renaissance Man.

In 2005 I plunged into a deep personal crisis.
One day (Wednesday) Walter, Jim, Maree and I were gathered at break time chewing the fat...
Walter had what appeared to be a sumptuous sandwich with him - noticing that I was in quite a bereft state, and possibly in need of physical sustenance, he offered me a half of his sandwich.
And ever since that day he has religiously brought me a Walter Moore Original (sandwich) on the Wednesdays.

He puts a wide cariety of things therein - today it was Vogels bread filled with tuna, feta, yummy greens...a REAL sandwich!
As I had been doing some work with my counsellor this morning about living in the moment and being mindful of things (including food), I decided to devote myself to the wholehearted enjoyment of the sandwich.
As I chomped reverently on the sandwich, a wagger passed by - "looks like a good sandwich, Sir!"
"Yes it is", I replied.
And I was tempted to add "and the best thing about it is ... that it was made with love".
Thanks, Walter (though I doubt you'll read this - it's not your scene so much!)!

"Le Sud" (theatre review)

This is a play by Dave Armstrong, who wrote the satirical and raucously un-p.c. "Seven Periods With Mr Gormsby" for NZ TV.
The scenario is that back in 1839 the French took over the South Island and the Brits got the North Island.
Now the North Island govt travel to the South to do a deal on hydro-electric power supply.
Enough plot outline!
The play begins in French, which is in itself hilarious when one manages to work out the translations.
As the piece continues, we are introduced to the key players of both governments - the situation is ripe for a seemingly endless web of relationships and clashes to be spun.
Nobody and nothing escapes the lethal incisions of Armstrong's satirical pen - race, gender, politics, rugby - all are mercilessly twisted, but you're too busy laughing to notice the casualties.
The play is perhaps slightly on the longish side, for what it is, but I would not want to be the one operating the editorial guillotine...
George Henare was a delight to watch and listen to - a wheeling and dealing contemporary Maori, part Le Tahu and part Tuhoe.
Jennifer Ward-Leland continues her golden run of characterisations in the Ak theatre scene - beautiful and funny to watch!
I don't know how much currency the play has - it's very much a play for these times, and I suggest if it makes its way into the local theatre, take a bunch of friends with you and treat yourself to a hugely entertaining night out!

9/10.

Brag and Drag

I've been on a course in Restorative Justice the last couple of days.
Very well run by the 2 facilitators, Greg and Rich - and many interesting insights.
One of our getting-to-know-you activities this morning was a thing called Brag and Drag.
Talk about one thing that's a drag for you at the moment and one thing that's a brag.
My drag was, of course, this interminable terminal disability.
My brag was the people who are "there for me" - family, friends, colleagues, students.
It feels very luxurious to be engaging in Professional Development while one's colleagues are hard at it across the road in the whiteboard jungle!
And enjoying lovely catered morning tea and lunch!
Restorative justice - yes!
Good conversations too with colleagues who also attended the course - wonderful to get to know people a bit better.
I have just got back from a screening of Sherlock Holmes at the Hollywood Cinema in Avondale - great fun, but I will review it a bit later!
Cooler weather today - less mozzies!

"It's Complicated" (movie review)

It's Academy Awards evening tonight.
So...
It would seem there are 2 main types of movie - Hollywood and non-Hollywood.
The Hollywood movies are for those times when your soul needs a little fake pick-me-up a la coca cola (sugary, addictive, unreal, and guaranteeing ersatz happiness).

I don't think the Hollywood movie has been any more caustically or brilliantly sent up than in Altman's "The Player"...do go and see it!
As to "It's Complicated" - well, up to you!
Some lovely low key acting from Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin (in fact, Martin's performance is delightfully understated).
This is a "romantic comedy" about a woman falling in love with her ex-husband (Streep and Baldwin) - it looks lightly, briefly at the consequences of separation, moving on (or not), getting older...
There are some lovely lighter moments, and a hilarious scene involving nude accidental skyping, but at the end our lives have not been changed, either inspirationally or disturbingly, and we are ready for another swig of saccharine soda pop.
Julie and Julia was a better vehicle for Streep, and in fact a better movie altogether.
You won't be offended by this movie, or inspired, or provoked - and you may feel good for at least 10 minutes afterwards.

6/10.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Sad, isn't it?
Here I am, wishing myself a happy birthday (it was yesterday, truth be told) - but really it was just to get a snappy title up there.
Lois and I embarked on our Pakiri sojourn at 5pm Fri, Auckland Standard Time, after I had ensured the children were in the right places.
We arrived up at Chevin Cottage some time after 7pm, and watched a DVD we found there - "The Door in the Floor", starring Jeff Bridges and Kim Basinger.
The next day, after a leisurely uprising, we headed out to the beach and walked down to the southern end and back again - no swimming, due to a rather too biting Southerly.
Into Matakana for a coffee and once again leisurely walk around the shops.
Afternoon spent reading (me = Bill Bryson, Lois = law books), and chatting to the Cottage owners, Cheryl and Kevin (who sent me away heavily laden with wonderful, crisp and tasty organic apples).
Back into Matakana to watch "Mao's Last Dancer" (to be reviewed soon hereafter) and enjoy licorice icecreams and the rather sumptuous environs of the multiplex.
Return to Ak after yet another visit to the most special of beaches (to me, anyway)...
A good weekend!

"Once More into the Breach..."

Cancer count up to 320-ish.
Nodules have spread round the peritoneum/abdomen.
I also have ascities, which is some fluid in between the liver and bowel and other bits (like a plastic bag into which water has leaked - eeuw!).
Game on!

Chemo will begin again in about 3 - 4 weeks.
I am on the wait list.
Had an x-ray on my shoulder straight after the onco, in order to rule out possible bone cancer (5% of cases get this).

The most likely chemo regime will be FOLFOX, which uses our old friend fluorouracil, oxaliplatin and something else...

It is expected that I will escape the dreaded "hand-foot syndrome" where layers of skin fall of the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet.
I will most likely experience some peripheral neuropathy (loss or heightened sensitivity of digital extremities), however.

The lovely Karen, my oncologist for the afternoon, recommended this as I am "oxali naive".

Best chance for biggest impact.

It will be 2 week cycles, for 12 cycles, same as FOLFIRI...though if there is no impact they will stop and I will begin to make myself comfortable.

Expect more outrageous photos along the way.

I will not be posting anything new till Sunday - my birthday! - as Lois and I will be heading up to Pakiri tomorrow!

By the way, one of my ex-students, young Steven Rapana, is having a choral piece performed Sunday 5pm in the Ak Town Hall, with words by one of my current students (Vaela'a Fatu) - I think it's Auckland Choral performing it, and the concert is free.

Life/music goes on...

Many thanks to Andy, who gave me a lovely "cheering up" gift of licorice allsorts and a Michael Jackson DVD this afternoon.

"Will None of You Wait With Me?..."

Don't get me wrong.
I KNOW there's heaps of you out there, praying with me.
It's about how I am feeling rather than the actuality of the situation...
And it is the night before...what?

Finding out a bit more of my prospects?
Death sentence?
Reprieve?
Miracle of healing?
Miracle of suffering?

I am in pain - have had constant aching in my right shoulder.
Gnawing away, sapping strength, energy, patience and humour.
A very poor night's sleep last night - will tonight be the same?

Hungry cats and school reports - both make their demands irrespective of the demandee's health or strength.

Went to a wonderful play last night - "Le Sud".
Review follows...sooon...
Thanks to Kerry L for organising the tickets!

Till tomorrow, then...

G.