Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The times, they are a-changing (again)

Enz of an era.

Stepping off the known road, again. No more chemo for now.
Wishes, prayers, possibilities, darkest fears and deeply held, faintest hopes coalesce.

Good things - low-grade reaction to chemo along with strong anti-cancer effect - can easily be ignored and set aside as just not good enough.
Uncertainty prevails, no medics can predict - slow, fast, or jagged regrowth?

It's never going to be good enough, leaving the party early. Nor should it be.
The days are like gemstones - the forgettable ones highlighting the marvellous times by their contrast.
Even the forgettable ones, and particularly the terrible ones, can be learning, yearning times.
Pain is a normal part of life. I won't let a piece of it stop me from ... striving, laughing, experiencing, sharing ... living.

A very wise person talked to me about giving this situation and experience the time and space it needs.
In space, no one can hear you scream ... just kidding, folks. Really.


L

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