Well, perhaps not quite wasted...
A very sleepless one last night, as the Chemo Day sleeps have become.
Almost a pure inability to sleep - not anxious thoughts in particular, simply a wide-awakeness.
Last night I read, solved Sudoku problems, snacked on toast with jam, and eventually found the land-of-no-dreams at 2.30am...
Yes, I have been through "the valley..." as per Psalm 23.
It won't be the first or the last time on my particular journey - I know that.
There is One who travels with me, and indeed only One who can hold me close in the "watches of the night".
I see a lot of what I do in my days could almost be categorised under "Distraction Therapy"...
The meals I eat, the music I listen to, the events/outings/interactions...
Life could be one long distraction...postponing, hiding, ignoring the inevitable...Death.
Part of the Magic/Miracle/Secret is finding the joy/meaning/power of the present moment.
I guess this was brought home earlier this week when we discovered that for any travel I may plan to do from now on, I will not be able to organise travel insurance for myself.
This makes any long-term plans for travel much riskier, as of course no one knows if or when my cancer will creep back...
It has just gone 4am on Friday morning, 25th September.
I have deliberately risen early to write the satirical song for the end of school term known as the Dawn Chorus...After this blog I will finish my school magazine reports...Then maybe back to bed?
Or a breakfast of tea, toast and cherry jam...mmmmm....
Happy Birthday, Lois!
Hopefully off to Molten (lovely restaurant in Mt Eden) tonight...booked for 7pm.
May each day have meaning, joy and peace for all of us...
Thanks to all who are journeying with me in prayer and love and hope and faith.
Love,
Gerald.
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Sorry to hear about your sleepless nights. I know what they are like, though mine are not due to the same causes. I will try sending you reiki specifically for helping you sleep - May help me too!
ReplyDeleteHope you have a relaxing and peaceful holiday planned, though, knowing you, you will try to pack as much into the next two weeks as you can. Some relaxation may help though...
I will do my best not to do too much - tho often the doing of stuff is really helpful as a distraction!
ReplyDeleteGreat post - reflective. I know there are some difficult things there but good to read you connecting it all together.
ReplyDeleteI'm exhausted - just been building an extension onto our new vicarage. well, the diocese ran out of money to do the £40,000 option so I've gone with the £500 "back porch-plus" - to take the freezer, tumble drier and stuff...
nearly done - don't tell the archdeacon!
Where there's a will there's a...bright idea from Richard!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are back safely - there will no doubt be a lot of processing to do from a mammoth journey like that!
Will you continue to blog on your journey site, or will you start a new one?
G.
I'm not sure yet. I can't quite see a purpose for me to blog post-journey, so I'm still mulling it all over.
ReplyDelete