Life happens

Feeling utterly condemned by myself ...

Which only I can fix ...

Still and all, I can only be part of the race if I am in it. It will be run with or without me.

I feel what I feel; the feelings are instructive, force insight, and threaten my capability.

Big news of the day: Gerald has gone. I keep thinking I know that, but emotions and common sense and simple facts aren't moving in lockstep.

There's an element of plodding involved here - but doing that for a long time is too horrible to contemplate, and not the kind of life I advocate.
Wait it out - experience tells me that things will soon change, and sometimes magic even happens.

Gerald has gone.
The unresolvable tensions and predicaments no longer need to be raised, resolved, or dangerously worked around.
The glorious contrasts can no longer be exploited.

There it is - the usual alloyed mixture of joy and despair.
Please bring me more!