Where is it?

Recovering, at least briefly (but fast and wonderfully) from a bout of welling despair.
I suspect the wish that it had been I, not the other, who had died, is a common one.

It hasn't been a thought thing, possible to control, but a wave of emotion rolling in, defined only in retrospect. Ah, not fair, no choice, I have been given the task of going on, and I haven't the resources?
Gerald would have been better at it, but we'll never get the chance to compare.
The barrenness.

Then, inexplicability, some energy again.
Sometimes only a tiny amount of a lovely thing or two is required.
A few moments with my son when companionship and mutual enjoyment of each others' company beckons.
How fabulous that could be.

A morning spent with friends, strong support, normal life (oh - and fresh baking!).

Gratitude for having a place to live, for not being so afraid of it falling down I have to sleep in the car (luckily the back of the Corolla goes flat, if the eventuality arose).
And for not having anyone close killed in the "New Zealand earthquake" as reported by the international press - unlike Michael and Jenny.

Tomorrow, first lectures.
Well into it today, fruitful work some of the time.
Counting down already, 14 weeks till 1st Semester exams (three, Privacy Law, Public International Law, and International Human Rights. 10, 15 and 20 points worth. Just reminding myself.)

I read something really useful in "Principles of Criminal Law" today:
"Unless one subscribes to some extreme form of Calvinism or other doctrine of the damned, guilt is not a state of being, a natural property. Guilt can be generated only in respect of something additional to what the defendant is; something for which she is accountable."
Hmmmm ... understanding the flavour of an upbringing can provide really useful illumination into lifelong tendencies. Thanks, Messrs Simester and Brookbanks.

Still not sure where it is (mojo, that is), but looking forward to tomorrow and not too scared of the rest of today.
That's a lot, I reckon.