twists and turns

So now I am going to do a dramatic performance on Sunday afternoon, for the benefit of the members of Mangere Baptist Church.
It's a long story.
Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin...
Sophie made it thru to Trash2Fashion finals.
She was called this afternoon to say she needs to be at the rehearsal from 1 to 4.30pm on Sunday.
Trouble is, Sunday she was already booked to perform the principal role of Albert in a show called The Pow Pow Power Musical, from 2pm thru to 5-ish, in Mangere.
A dilemma!
After some agonising, a light switched on in my head and I thought "Well, well, well, why don't I step into Sophie's role???"
So I did.
The rest is history in the making.
Tonight at Home Group we watched a DVD by Louie Giglio about Hope.
VERY positive, amazing and encouraging.
Suffering is a megaphone of our world view.
Yes...
G.

A Short History of Nearly Everything (book review)

by Bill Bryson.
Absolutely amazing!
How this author manages to get so much info across with such clarity and humour and INTEREST mystifies me every time.
This is a truly superb book which looks at the history of the world and Science, and also gives great accounts of the people who unfathomed the mysteries...
After reading a BB book, I seem to find myself going round and beginning conversations with the phrase "Did you know..."
Yes, it really is that sad.
The final chapter is terribly poignant...as usual I won't give too much away, but to read of the final dodos, and indeed the extinction, by man, of most other species, is heartbreaking (though, once again, not without humour).
And BB's explanation of sub-atomic particles, string theory, DNA and many more things, is so very un-text-bookish, I found myself almost overcome by a desire to study science (at school, we had mainly worthy, but often dull, science lessons - after 4th Form I was relieved that I no longer had to study it, tho it was a struggle to get to do Geo rather than Bio!).
Whether you are a science buff or not, a creationist or an evolutionary, you will enjoy this book - it's a jolly good read!
I think the next BB book I will get my mits on will bve Thunderbolt Kid - stay posted!

G.

A Box of Chocolates...

You never know what you're gonna get!
Today was good!
Thursday was cool - Sophie won the zone finals for impromptu speech, and I was there to see her do it!
Friday was a little distressing - woke up to a leaking chemo line - panic again but not as much as last time - more disappointed that the mini-gig I'd set up for staff briefing wasn't gonna happen (after all that practice! Sigh...)
Daffodil day - loads of people wearing daffs to aid Cancer Society - I felt quite supported!
In the evening out to Plonie and Brian's - come dessert, Brian not feeling at all well so we left early-ish - found out on the way home that Plonie had taken him into North Shore Hospital - he has a kidney stone, which when I last heard they were expecting him to pass naturally.
Also heard that my eldest bro-in-law, Paul, is in Hospital with gall stones...
Today a glorious start to the day - Ian M came round and helped to lop dangly bits off the rubber tree...quite an impact was made...
A phone call at around 6.30pm to say Sophie HAS now made it into the Trash2Fashion finals.
Apparently people were worried about her umbrella (a bit spikey), OR thought she had adult help to make her costume (she sweated at it all by her own self)...
The plot thickens!
Meanwhile, there is ALWAYS tradescantia to be eliminated!

G.

District 9 (movie review...)

Firstly a few warnings...
This movie also not for the squeamish.
And more for sci-fi fans.

This is one of the best sci-fi movies I have seen in AGES.
A fascintaing story-telling style and structure, which moves from doco style (a la Orson Welles's War of the Worlds) into adventure movie and back again.
Elements of WotW, Invasion of the Body-snatchers, Alien, Terminator, Independence Day - but much more chilling in that it shows us want strange creatures humans are...
AND set in Johannesburg, of all places!
With a guy who begins the movie very much as a reincarnation of Murray from Flight of the Conchords, and ends it in wuite a different way (I promise I won't spoil it!).
I am sorry, I can't remember the name of the director, except that it was Neill someone...
And the principle actor's name (a downside of viewing new movies on Chemo Day).
But the messages are quite stunning...this is a total reversal of your mainstream alien invasion movie (no spoilers, tho!)...
I am still tossing up whether one of the creepiest scenes is where Wikus van der Merwe (main character) blows out the candles on his cake, or the hospital scene that follows...
Highly memorable movie (just not the actor or director's names!!!).
Peter Jackson and Philippa Boyens produced this...the splatter movie influence is still there in Jackson's movies (how WILL the Hobbit turn out?????).

I sense a pathway for a sequel too...

Thoroughly recommended, but with the above cautions.
Not one for the movie snugglers amongst us!
G.

Ahoy there, me hearties!

Andrew and I, suitably attired.
Andrew clearly the captain, me some hand!
The chemo nurses waved at us as we entered, and the buzz spread...
I had brought some ska music in for the stereo (well, it's Carribean, innit?)
Andrew went off to visit Lorna, and returned with the priceless treasure of having brightened up the lives of the kids in Starship on his way thru.
After chemo we BOTH sashayed thru the hospital (I feel almost as if we "own" it now!)...bringing further delight to nurses, patients, adults, kids, hospital workers,etc.
A GREAT chemo day (as far as these things go).
Then lunch/coffee with Sandy, a counsellor of mine...
Then District 9 (a superb sci-fi movie, which I shall report on shortly).
Home, to light my short-chemo-fuse with nearest and dearest - not pretty, but reconciled.
Soph out to visit Grandma, Al out to a movie about Charles Darwin's voyage - Lo and I at home watching TWO episodes of our beloved Boston Legal (we're flamingoes!).
I am currently working on a performance of "In My Life" by the Beatles (more specifically John Lennon) for the staff for daffodil day this Fri (cancer society fundraising day).
What an amazing song - I pray that Theo (guitar buddy) and I will do it justice.
I may even find sufficient memory to do it "by heart"!
Please pray for Lorna - she is struggling at present, but maintains her stoically brave face.
Much love and thoughts for all of you (even the ones who simply read).
Thanks Ollie and Renate for the loan of pirate garb!
And thanks, Andrew, for a great day.
Cowboys (NOT flamingoes) next time - and I will take my guitar in as well...
G.

Love Potion Number Nine...

Well, if it's doing me some good, I guess that makes it a love potion...
Today's news consists of a blood test at the new Labtests outfit (7 people clad in orange to greet me at 7.20am - wonder how long this type of reception will last?).
Then a CT scan at Ak hospital at 8.45am, after having visited Lois's mum, who was admitted to hospital last night with a severe headache, nausea and temperature - she is still in there for observation - the latest thoughts were that it is a virus (as you may know, L's mum, Lorna, has chronic leukaemia, and a virus can have very serious consequences).
The CT scan was VERY quick - no nonsense ("Have you done one of these before? You have? Right then - sort yourself out and we'll have you out in no time").
Back to school to assess year 12s and gee up the year 13s - then out again, picking up Lois and going to talk to Doctor Paul about the results so far...
He showed me 2 scan pictures - March and August (we later talked about where the June one had gone...)
The March photo shows big lumps of grey in the liver - the tumours.
The August one (today's) shows very small specks - the decrease in size CONTINUES.
The cancer count as at last Tuesday has gone down to 290...from 4000... Alexander worked out that is a 92.6% (approx) decrease.
Can we eradicate the other 7.4% by the end of the treatment?
This is my hope and prayer - and with cancer there can be no half measures...as Gil, my boss, likes to say, "do it to them before they do it to you" (in a lighthearted tone!)...
Back to school to rehearse with the Super Twelve - Lee has cooked up a lovely version of "I Have a Dream" with them, for the Abba celebration on 16th Sep...and of course I shared my GOOD NEWS with them (Doctor's quote today is "dramatic" reduction).
Back home as Lois headed out to her second law test.
Dinner with the kids, followed by sittin' on the sofa with Sophie watchin' Star Trek (original series).
Working at memorising "In My Life" by the Beatles for Daffodil Day...
Ready for bed, and dream of pirate chemo tomorrow.
G'night!
G.

A Busy Week in a Different Way.....

Monday - school and home group.
Tuesday - 7.30am blood test
8.45 CT scan at Ak hospital.
Chemo pre-assessment at 2.30
Super Twelve Practice at 3.20
Lois - law test in the evening...
plus school!!
Wednesday - 9am Chemo no.9
Thursday - Sophie's impromptu speech zone finals 11.15am
3.20pm Band practice.
7.30pm church music practice.
plus school!
Friday - daffodil day (Cancer Society fundraising).
Paid Union Meeting 1pm
Pump off at 4pm
Dinner with sister Plonie and her husband Brian in the evening.
Plus school!
Head down and ready for news and battle!

G.

Not Such a Busy Week After All

I found myself less involved in the show than I had anticipated.
Overall this was a good thing, as I needed some rest.
It has been a busy week, but not overstretching.
Last night I got to see the show, "Zany Flavas".
Very enjoyable.
The Super Twelve Group, now reduced to 10 (I won't be replacing the 2 I had to let go), performed very well, fitting in with an exuberant, energetic cast (an account of this will be posted separately).
Today the music department was a veritable powerhouse again.
Groups going out to perform, practise, compete, my tutor group staying in at lunchtime to play music (apart from one girl, who I had to discipline for wearing rainbow socks! A time and a place, dearie!).
Energy levels much better, sky blue, sun shining, humour restored...
And I've just had a call from Jonathan J of the PPTA ARMC who has the rimu ready to plant at school...
And Samson my very sweet, crazy and silly cat is purring away beside me now...
The weekend beckons.

G.

What Goes Down...

must come up.
Defying the laws of gravity (who wrote them?)...
And the laws of reason...(when was life ever reasonable?)...
But keeping the law of Love.
Stumbling but not falling.
And rising on EAGLES' wings.
Not the mortal bird we find here but the huge royal beasts (that talked) from Lord of the Rings.
Thanks to all those who, metaphorically, "took the plunge" with me over the last few days...
Often doing nothing but sharing the pain, sadness and sorrow.
My family, my colleagues (especially for yesterday's hugs and today's chocolate kisses and the gently placed hand on the shoulder/knee)...
Lois, for her continued support, even when my behaviour must seem mystifying.
The journey continues...

Love,

G.

"Public Enemies" (movie review)

A film about John Dillinger getting his come-uppance in 1933.
Period costume/cars/decor all wondrously detailed and convincing.
Not an ultra-blokey movie.
Yes there is graphic violence and shooting, but not gratuitous, I think.
Marion Cotillard (Piaf in La Vie en Rose) is outstanding.
Billy Crudup as J. Edgar Hoover is eerily entertaining.
Christian Bale convinces as the man charged with bringing down Dillinger.
But the movie belongs lock, stock and both barrels to Johnny Depp.
The challenge is of course to make the gang leader a sympathetic character.
As with many of his screen roles, Depp slides right into character, and gives us a glimpse of the "alternative morality" that gangs live by...a morality in which violence is essential, and the greatest virtue is loyalty...it is, tragically, this virtue which becomes Dillinger's downfall.
3 great scenes are: Dillinger meets Billie (Cotillard) and rescues her from being a hat check girl,
Dillinger visits the special office set up to track him down, and nobody recognises him....
The penultimate scene, in which the soundtrack really does go beyond the call of duty (no spoiling on this blogsite, dear readers!).
So, if you're a Depp fan, you have already seen it!
If you're a gangster movie fan, you must see it.
If you're female, you're probably a Depp fan, and you will need to judge whether it's worth sitting through a few bloody gun battles for the indepth characterisation - I thought so, but then I am a big Depp fan.
If not into the action scenes, you can afford to wait for the dvd.
Speaking of which the Topp Twins are out on DVD now - highly recommended!!

G.

Chemo Ghost (poem)

I am the chemo ghost.

A hollow man?

Head filled with....

memories
emotions
shadows
hesitations
echoes.

and more besides.

all around me are familiar faces...

the same as before!

but distant, somehow.

the boat adrift from its mooring.

where is it travelling?
where IS the horizon?
where is that distant shore?
that safe haven?
the island i dreamt of?

laughing
hugging
crying
concerned
tired

chemo ghost reaches out
and fails to touch
to connect
to feel

flat
grey
empty
ashes
dust

"How are you?"
"Fine, just fine"...

Big Week Coming

Feeling less tired.
Appetite still a little low.
A lovely weekend with family, tho low emotional state meant I stayed away from folks on Sat.
Sophie will be joining me in the worship teams, when we can make Thursday practices and Sunday mornings.
A very wet weekend.
Lois and I got soaked doing our 40 minute walk round Hillsbro.
My friend Michael has a chest infection - please pray!
Lois fell over on Friday - please pray for her too.
And please pray that I will be wise enough to handle the busy week.
Dress rehearsals Monday and Tuesday.
Shows on Wed through to Sat.

Love,

Gerald.

Sometimes Things Suck...

When you're tired.
When your appetite goes down.
When the sky is grey and the living room is cold.
When people let you down,
When you can't let go.
When someone you love has an accident.
When energy is low.
Disconnection.
Not feeling it.
It doesn't last forever.
Nothing does.

Chemo 8

The actual chemo day doesn't get easier.
Today was fun tho - Andrew and I decided to dress as aliens.
Andrew wore a black suit and alien eyes - contact lenses with strangely dilated pupils.
I wore a yellow banana suit (hospital issue), technicolour wig, silver triangles on my face, my trousers tucked into my shorts, and of course at a later stage a whole chemo drip pole.
This brought considerable amusement to traffic, pedestrians, nurses, patients...
Photos should appear any time soon.
After the session it was off to St Lukes to catch Public Enemies (to be reviewed ib due course)...and visit cd and book shops (I seem to be doing quite well in the window shopping stakes)!
Tired once home - well looked after by wife and children - Sophie having made it thru to both prepared and impromptu speech finals at school, and Alexander completing his school website (for him - contains music reviews) - you can access the info thru their blogs (listed in a previous blog here, as is my friend Richard's - tho his is apparently on hold for timebeing - internet reception not so good in Cuba).
Something I gained insight into today was that when adversity strikes, we as human beings seem to have a resilience mechanism that helps us to reframe our life and STILL have positive or negative reference points within the new situation...
Personally, I am recognising myself as a largely hopeful person - I think the last few years especially bear testimony to that!
I'm not saying that one's hopes are always fulfilled, but having hope opens unlimited possibilities for other things - not least LOVE and JOY and FUN.
Andrew and I have warned the inhabitants (some admittedly more transient than others) that in 2 weeks time the pirates will be coming...ahoy there, me hearties!!!

"Absolutely Fantastic"

These were the words that emphasised the latest set of blood results for me.
Though I share the sentiment, they were the doctor's words - not mine.
My cancer markers have gone down to 450.
At the start of the process they were 4000 (count the zeroes!).
Today is chemo no.8 - I am hoping and p[raying that my markers will totally drop by the end of the course - who wouldn't?
Aymen, the registering doctor who I talked to yesterday, also noted that my immunity levels have remained, mysteriously, noticeably strong.
I am taking Ambrotose and Maxiferrin, both of which are said to boost the immune system.
However, these things are very expensive to take regularly, and when I come off chemo I will have to make a choice between them - we have been living on one income for quite a while now!
After the hospital session yesterday it was back to school for Show rehearsal.
After concerns about the cohesion within my Super Twelve group, it was satisfying to have a really good practice session with smiles, energy and teamwork.


Love,

G.

Monday's Messages

The poor old year 13s were tired today.
They had the ball on Saturday - maybe that explains it.
We had a special service for the Tongan students today, in remembrance of those who died in the ferry disaster.
This week is the start of Production Madness - a good distraction from cancer, I'm sure.
A very good sermon about prejudice etc. yesterday, by young Jamie Wood.
And then a Pastoral prayer against bigotry - great stuff!
Home group tonight we watched a second dvd with Louis Giglio talking about how great God is - last week was "Indescribable" about the Universe, this week "How Great Thou Art" focussing down to microscopic level.
World's worst inventor?
Most likely Thomas Midgley Junior, who thought it would be good to put lead in petrol, add CFCs to anything remotely in need of "propellant", and became entangled in a pulley system he invented to help turn himself over when recovering from a back injury - the machine strangled him.
My health continues to be glorious - I got a little worried with a cough that came last night, but that has gone now too.
Roll on chemobattle no.8!

Saturday Snippets

Greetings!
I would like to recommend some related blogsites to you...
Alexander, my son, has one at alexvw.blogspot.com.
Sophie, my daughter, has one at sophiwophi.blogspot.com
Richard, my English friend, has one at dormandy.co.uk/blogspot, and as he is currently on a musical odyssey thru the Americas, you will find the photos, the MP3 clips and the commentary very interesting.
He is currently snorkelling in Cuba with his wife, Ruth, who has met up with him for a few days.
Here in Ak the weather has been beautiful - sunshine, blue sky, still weather.
Household/yard chores till lunch, a walk "round the bays" (Manukau that is) after lunch, then out to a cafe with Lois and Sophie (we paid for our own coffees and nibbles - do NOT call tis Dutch treat, okay?).
Back home to fireplace, martinis, Boston Legal and Black Books.
Last night I went out to Galbraith's, a "tavern" in town (top of Mt Eden Rd) and caught up with Alan Papprill, an ex-colleague from Otahuhu (he also has a blog on venture2doha.blogspot.com).
Peter, Rosemary and Malcolm were also there - my first time at Galbraith's - a highly convivial venue.
They brew their own ales on site, and I tried out a "Bitter and Twisted" - tasty!
Still feeling very good indeed.

G.

Thursday - end of an ERO

Off to work by myself.
Arrive at school - can't find my planning book!
Scoot around searching - the colleagues who could would should have seen it haven't...
Some even think I'm joking!!
Finally found it on a chair on a desk ion my classroom!
Lee away today - sore throat etc.
Inspector calls period 3 - there are 4 students in my year 11 class -
Joshneel with the grand piano in the hall, Aso and Evean on guitars outside, Esoto with a crowd of admirers and/or rivals in S4 on drums - leaving me to chat with the ERO man about courses etc.
Then the feeling of relief when he's gone!
Just one of those things.

Feeling terrific - positive, healthy and indestructible today.

G.

"Das Rheingold" - an introduction (for Sophie)

Many centuries ago an epic German poem was written called the Nibelung's Song.
Towards the end of the 19th century Richard Wagner turned the story into a set of 4 operas, collectively entitled Der Ring des Nibelungen (The Ring of the Nibelungs).
The story, very briefly, is about how a ring of power is forged by the Nibelungs (Dwarf people) and the Gods (several of them, pagan German deities to which we owe several of our names for days of the week - the chief God, Wotan, gave his name to Wednesday)...
The lust/quest for the ring eventually leads to the downfall of the Gods, and their dwelling place, Valhalla, sinks into the Rhine.
Das Rheingold is the first of the quadrilogy, and deals with how Alberich, the chief nasty Nibelung, steals the gold from the Rhine, forges some of it into the Ring of Power (see where Tolkien got his idea from???). and then in turn gets it nicked by the gods so they can pay off the giants who built Valhalla.
Needless to say, Alberich is not happy, and what goes around comes around, and the naughty gods eventually pay the price for their duplicity.
The Rhinegold has no human characters in it - they turn up later, and help to hasten the gods' downfall.
This opera cycle is of course where the famous "Ride of the Valkyries" music comes from (one of Wagner's "greatest hits").
The operas are Das Rheingold, Die Walkure (the Valkyries), Siegfried and finally Gotterdammerung (Twilight of the Gods) - a few umlauts are missing from thesed words cos I don't know how to add them in!
Rheingold is the shortest opera - about 2 and a half hours.
The others get longer and longer and the death toll increases ( abit like the Peter Jackson LotR movies).
As I said before, I love the music, but it's not everyone's cup of tea - if you want punchy tunes and a bit of lyricism, listen to Verdi instead.
Anyway hopefully this gives you some idea of Das Rheingold...the beer is called Rheineck, and at least titularly related to the river Rhine also!
G.

Healing...

There are many aspects to healing...
All healing comes from our Creator.
The intention to heal also is His (I use the pronoun generically).
There are subsets of healing - our faith, prayers, medicine (orthodox/unorthodox), miracles.
I feel good.
I feel a bit tired.
I am not someone to go around "claiming healing"...
My healing is not all up to me, tho my attitude makes a difference.
Full healing comes with death, beyond death.
That is not intended to appear morbid, but positive/hopeful.

That's all for now!

G.

Sunday Digest

Up at 6.50am.
Kids (with their guests - Sophie's Livne and Alexander's Logan) called at 7.20am.
Drop-off for Livne at 8.20am - then to church.
9am - practice for service - complete with candles and incense.
10am - service including prayer for yours truly, a "blinding" sermon by Paul Fletcher (people actually applauded!), an extended improv time for the musoes and communion - long service.
12.45pm to Grandma's for photos (these become harder and harder to take the larger the Baxter family gets!).
3pm off for a walk round the Hillsborough bays.
5pm time for a spot of gardening - Lois collapses in a heap (fatigue? stress? illness?).
7pm - dinner of sorts (all make do - I manage to microwave an egg!).
8.16 this post brought to you, dear readers/followers/friends/etc.

A few more bits'n'pieces to read, then to bed to dream about E.R.O.......

G.

"The Lord of the Rings" (book review)

Do I really need to review this book of books??
I have just spent about 2 to 3 months of my life reading it.
It was worth every moment.
A book that hints at eternity, Good Things, and a complete world in our imaginations.
I first was introduced to this book by my sisters (I think it was Plonie who lent me a copy), back in the early 70s - and I have reread it several times - this is not to boast, but to get across something of how a book can have a very strong relationship with its reader (the Bible and Koran are of course the ultimate examples of this) - reading it for nourishment, comfort, adventure, inspiration...
The thing that struck me this time "through" (apart from the completeness of the vision, which always grabs me) was the language.
Tolkien loved language, and as many of us know it was his love of ancient languages which led to creating a story to explain his own languages (esp. Elvish).
Reading LoTR, one is struck by how real and rooted the names of things and people are - this is in contrast to many other fantasy novels, where the names seem fake or shamelessly borrowed from other religious/mythical sources.
The language does indeed shape the cultures, characters and even the story itself.
The book is a trusted, valued companion, and if you have never read it before in your life (no matter how old you are), at least give it one go, before it's too late (...set aside time though - as I said, it took me about 3 months, but I am asuredly a "slow" reader!).

G.

"Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" (movie review)

Chemo day is my "wagging" day.
I currently have a very early stat time, so manage to get out to the movies round about 12 or 1pm.
I have decided I NEED this time - chemo throws me out of whack for the day and I am not much use to man or beast once my pump is on and the fluorourocil is wending its way thru my bloodstream.
At the risk of me falling asleep, Andrew C, my regular "chemo-buddy", and I, aim to take in a movie.
Enough back-story! - we went, we watched and we wondered...
I thought this move, as a cinematographic experience, was stunning.
It is smoother, defter, more sophisticated than the previous 5, and if you know the plot background, you will thoroughly enjoy it.
In particular I loved the acting, the set design, the photography and the soundtrack (no longer by John Williams - he's probably on perpetual holiday by now - living a life of luxury with the royalties from all those Spielberg and Lucas soundtracks - probably comes out of retirement to write an award-winning 8-bar tune starting with a perfect 5th, then slips back to Hawaii)...
Michael Gambon as Dumbledore has steadily become much more than a bearded Gandalf-substitute...there is depth in his characterisation, but I won's say any more about Dumbledore, as there are surprises in store.
Yes, there is some sense of "waiting for the end" - inevitable I suppose.
But it's a thrilling, scary, funny, and highly enjoyable wait.
Don't take kids to see it - too scary!

G.

"Starlight Express" (review)

A good night out.
Good family entertainment, if you can afford it (mercifully, I was spared any info relating to the actual expense of this night out)...
The music is good, not great.
Andrew Lloyd Webber knows how to create memorable musical moments and use them well.
Verdi or Puccini he is not.
The story line is very basic - trains racing against each other - and eventually the good guy wins.
The main difference between the Vector production and the West End production is that in the West End the trains (cast) whizz around over your head, whereas at Vector they perform amazing acrobatic feats on a thrust stage and 2 half-pipes - very impressive.
Very little acting is required - it's all stereo-typical characters, tho enjoyable - Lord Lloyd Webber's pastiches of popular musical styles over the last 5o years (c'n'w, hip-hop, gospel) is highly enjoyable.
My favourite bit was the 3 hip-hoppers - quite a gutsy, muscly song, underscored by some very impressive body-popping and break-dancing.
Tho Poppa, the gospel train, was very impressive with his rendition of "Light at the End of the Tunnel".

If you really want to be moved, I recommend getting out to the concert version of Madame Butterfly (hopefully the soloists won't disappoint), or sit at home with some good Verdi (Otello is going thru his self-doubt/lack-of-trust issues as I type - it's heart-breaking!).

Just by the way, tomorrow at MRBC Fred and the elders will be praying for me and "my" cancer...if you would like to add your prayers to theirs please do!

Service is at 10am and lasts no more than one and a half hours.

Love to youse all,

G.