Saturday, May 30, 2009

Brrr...(ian Eno)

Queen's Birthday weekend...eh?...eh??

Weather commenced fine but degenerated into something wet and miserable during our post-lunch perambulation.

Wish I could say the walk was scenic, but it is hard to see much from the inside of a rain hood.

I am hoping that I will get a bit more "fitness" back, as I find myself a little short of breath - I love walking, though, so hopefully the breath will return!

We have spent the morning preparing for Richard and Ruth's visit - the 10 days will fly by, but will hopefully be sweet and special.

On Lois's recent Sydney sojourn she bought herself a colourful jumper, like the ones I wear - so we look like twins now!

Well, almost...

I am a bit jealous of her because she gets to see Brian Eno's light sculpture thingy on the sails of the Sydney Opera House...for the uninitiated, Brian Eno was a foundation member of Roxy Music. He left after a squabble with Bryan Ferry, and went on to produce some of the most influential albums of the 70s, 80s, 90s and 00s, including Bowie's Low and Heroes, Talking Heads More Songs About Buildings and Food, Remain in Light, U2's Joshua Tree, Unforgettable Fire, Achtung Baby (cowriter of One), and lately Paul Simon's Surprise and Coldplay's Viva La Vida (to name but a few!).

He is the creator/proponent of "ambient music" and responsible for introducing the features of minimalism to the pop world.

With David Byrne he pioneered the technique of "sampling" in an album entitled "My Life in the Bush of Ghosts".

Worth listening to?

Definitely!

I hear that he is also the composer of the Microsoft opening-up musical motif, so he's probably rich, influential though not famous.

Hear endeth the lesson!

G.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

"...the Days of Our Lives..."

My perspective on life is a little different from what it was about 97 blogs ago.

When I wake up in the morning (if not too tired) I think to myself "what will I do today that will make an impact/a difference in this world?"

I think over the last few years I had been heading towards this mindset...now it is underlined with a little frisson of urgency.

My life now focuses a LOT on people, time with people, time with God, appreciating what is there rather than hoping/wishing/stressing out about what is not.

Hard to discern trends at this early stage, but I do seem to be a little short-tempered soon after chemo...sometimes a little dizzy/breathless.

On Monday we learnt that Sophie has been accepted for a scholarship to St Cuthbert's College (a private girls' school in Auckland, with a good reputation for arts and literature, and probably other things.

This is after having to write her own cv, sitting 2 exams, attending 2 interviews...yes I am chuffed - we all are, and I know she will make the most of the opportunity.

It's also a relief, of course, as Lois and I have big question marks over financial security etc. (no, I am not stressed out about this, but it would be naive to assume all will automatically fall into place).

Meanwhile, Alexander rides the "exam roller-coaster" (ends tomorrow, with Art and Humanities).

This has been my first week with a new teacher in my team...Lee Harford, a musical, humorous, warm-hearted Samoan/Cook Island lady who is with us at least till the end of the year.

But tomorrow I am the only one of our team of 4 who is IN school (ironic, eh?).

We have clicked very well, and it is brilliant to have team-teaching going on in the classroom.

The students have responded extremely well, and of course one can cover twice as much in a lesson - if only this type of arrangement was "de rigeur"!

For those of you contemplating team teaching, a couple of observations so far...

Decide in advance who will "lead" the lesson.

Ensure you are comfortable sharing the space/time/focus.

Have common rules/expectations.

Enjoy the sharing.

Today the school band had its final practice of "How Bizarre" and "One Day" and I got some great harmony backing from Lee and "the girls" who came to support.

I booked us in for year 10 assembly which I now have to ubdo because next Wednesday is Chemo day (I actually felt so well yesterday and today I was "tempted" not to go next Wed...don't worry, I realise that would be silly really).

A girl greeted me as I headed out to my blood test on Tuesday with the unforgettable question "Hi, Sir, how's the cancer?"...to which I replied "very good, thank you"!

What else would I say?

"Oh, it really sucks and I hate the thought of dying so young"?

Don't get me wrong - I am not trivialising my mortality, however it comes back to grabbing each day by the proverbials and not letting go.

"More bang for your buck".

So, as I await the text from Lois to say she's touched down, I reflect on the events of today and think "how lucky to have had another gorgeous, glorious day lived at full tilt".

And it certainly puts the paperwork in perspective too...

My friend/colleague Theo is in Middlemore hospital with an enflamed shoulder, which nobody can account for.

He had a second op today and will be there at least till Saturday - I think they're putting a little pipeline into him similar to mine for his antibiotics...3 of us in our carpool, so that just leaves Kerry for some rewiring/replumbing!

Many things have happened this week but I wanted tonight's entry to be a bit more of where I'm at rather than what has happened.

A quote from John Waters (director of the original "Hairspray" movie): "Getting into Art is like joining a biker gang".

70th birthday of "Gone With the Wind" today..."frankly, my dear, I don't give a ....".

Goodnight!

G.

Monday, May 25, 2009

"From the Depths to the Heights" (an account)

Far be it from me to present anything resembling an objective view of last night's Concert of Psalms - so this is more a reflection of the things that made it a "buzz" for me.

Forgive my apparent self-indulgence (but, hey, blogging creates that occupational hazard anyway, I s'pose).

The musicians - mostly from the MRBC "stable", and people I have made music with for up to 10 years now (that's a lot of music!), but also including Robyn Allen-Goudge (harpist, and ex-school-buddy from 30 years ago!), Bruce Bremner (one-man keyboard orchestra from my "Valley Rd Days" - 25 years ago!) and Sophie van Waardenberg (a diligent and promising flute player, very familiar with her father's sometimes maverick musical decisions).

Guest vocal girls from my school - Sulieti, Christine and Losa (finally got transport sort-of organised, blew the audience away with a cappella gospel numbers and melted my heart, not for the first or probably even the last time).

The sound - Michael Barker, my "main man", who is a wonderful sound guy because he is musical - there were 15 musicians on stage, and he painted with our sounds as though each one of us was a different colour - I had the benefit of hearing all this centre stage, being in the middle and wallowing in a swathe of rich sound colours.

Slide show - compiled by Ian Mander, with some help from Alexander - every verse of every psalm accounted for by a memorable, arresting, sometimes humorous, often poignant visual image.

Hospitality - Linda McGrath organised it and it flowed out from the concert, making it a very long church service indeed!

Audience - a huge (for me) audience, made up of churchgoers, friends, family, people who had received the flyer, colleagues, people from my past, homegroups, etc. - attentive, enthusiastic, and appearing to bathe in the sounds and words of these ancient inspirational songs.

Prayer - it was the loveliest thing to have Lois read a prayer and poem as part of the concert - evocative, intense, heartfelt and original.

Feedback - to be in a place and have done something that appears to have "touched" people in many rich and powerful ways (according to the feedback!).

Emmanuel - God with us. There is NOTHING like the deep sense of God holding you and you being in "the right place"... and making music!

Many thanks to all who came, listened, prayed and journeyed with me through the concert.

Where to from here?

I still have so MUCH that I want to do while on this planet - psalms to set, other music to make, shows to write.

If anyone out there has any feedback as to what you might like me to tackle next, feel free to blog or email me with your suggestions.

This Wednesday I plan to record psalms 11 to 20 (I have already done 1 to 10)...

I also have a show that I think I will do as a kind of slide show/concert version at some stage....and more stuff as well.

But NOW...time to get some sleep, and let the folfiri do its work!

G'night,

Gerald.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

"Star Trek" (film review)

Gene Rodenberry has a lot to answer for!

The creator, and original producer/director/etc. of "Star Trek", has left a huge legacy, an entertainment equivalent of the Big Bang.

Star Trek is its own expanding universe, and a great example of what I was raving about in my earlier blog, "Infinity and Beyond".

Not being a particularly obsessive "trekkie", I have lost track of how many different TV series there have been, and whether the current movie is number 5, 6 or 7.

What I can report, however, is that the lastest addition to the Star Trek canon is hugely worthwhile, entertaining and gripping.

This is a "backstory" type Star Trek, showing us why James T. Kirk was good for the Star Fleet, how Spock's psychological dilemma came to be, why "Bones" is called "Bones" and giving us a preview of the stressed-out, batty and lovable Scotsman who came to be known as...er..."Scotty".

We follow the crew of the Starship Enterprise on a mission to deal to the nasty Romulans, the catch being that we must travel with them into and back from the future.

Confusing?

Perhaps, as far as timewarp movies go, but anyone who has watched an episode of Star Trek will be used to this "psychological complexity", and the storyline of the movie is as clear as glass (the movie is directed by J.J. Abrams, so expect plenty of action along the lines of "Lost").

A particularly attractive feature of the show is the way in which the relationships of the crew, and in particular that of Spock and Kirk, develop.

One of the key elements of ANY Star Trek is the personification of "logic" and "emotion", and the struggles between these 2 sides of the human/vulcan/romulan/etc. psyche - this movie is no exception.

Another key element is humour, and althought there are huge explosions, laser fights, chases and general hard knocks, the humour is not lost.

A lucid, energetic and hugely appealing space romp for 13 year olds and over.

To go boldly where no man has gone before?

G.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Today and Tomorrow

Today:
The usual Saturday morning stuff (all good).
A Hillsborough walk in radiant sunshine with Lois.
An hour's tutorial with Alexander discussing Animal Farm (hooray - something I CAN help him with in his school work!).
A rehearsal of psalms with Sophie, who is getting into the improvisation with great gusto.
Starting to watch Star Trek - Enterprise, and following thru with House Season 4, Boston Legal Season 1 and Studio 60 1st series.

Tomorrow:
Short tutorial with A.
Church at 9 (featuring a chain gang sketch).
Rest.
Concert rehearsal 2 - 5pm.
Rest.
Concert 7pm (Mt Roskill Baptist Church, 483/485 Richardson Rd - opposite May Rd School).
Rest!!!

Goodnight,


G.

"Hello America" (book review)

J.G. Ballard, 1981 (Vintage paperback, 1994).

Not many people are familiar with the work of J.G. Ballard - more's the pity!

You may have heard of the movies "Empire of the Sun" and "Crash", however, which are both based on his books - autobiography and novel, respectively.

He died not long ago, so I decided to tuck into my collection of his novels.

His writing style is distinctive, cool, phantasmagoric and challenging - never an easy ride.

"Hello America" is no exception - I would not recommend it as a first foray into Ballardland, but definitely tackle it after "The Drowned World" ( first novel, about a world, and the city of London, in particular, submerged by water from the ice caps - sound accurate? - written over 40 years ago).

Hello America is set about 100 years in the future - the continent has been transformed, seemingly, into a desert, and we take up the story with an expedition team from Europe landing on the coast of New York in search of....

Their discoveries are part of the treasure of the novel, so I won't tell you a thing, except to say that there is an hilarious, bizarre, Gothic scenario played out in a Las Vegas casino evoking the "ghosts" of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Judy Garland.

There are many twists and turns in the novel, which achieves its purposes of captivating, delighting, scaring and challenging the reader.

Highly recommended!

G.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Glow Worm Poem

...courtesy of Ak Onco Unit...

I would like to be a glow worm,
A glow worm's never glum.
It's hard to be downhearted,
When the sun shines out your bum.


....have a sunny day, wherever/whatever you are!

G.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

...and transcends...

...Queensryche (American heavy metal band) performing cover versions of great songs (I may be turning into a headbanger, and it's all your faul, Mr Ariaens)...

Schubert C major quintet for strings (op. posthumous 127 - count them! - 127 posthumous works)...

one hit wonders in the car on the way to haircut no.2 at the hospital, including "Come on Eileen" and "Agadoo"...

total runthrough of psalms beginning 6.30amish

a drip that plays the first 5 notes of the Magic Roundabout

Brahms viola sonatas by Maxim Rysanov

my own contribution to the viola repertoire being mass-produced for "the punters" (10 copies available free of charge

the very cool, magnificent soundtrack of The Boat That Rocked (including Elgar's Nimrod at a very poignant movement

a conversation with a man today or yesterday diagnosed with throat cancer (not in hospital, but in the lobby of the Lido, where i watched the above movie, about music being beyond the known universe (he an agnostic, me a Christ-follower, but having this belief about music in common!)

Sophie's very cool piano playing...

...utterly beyond words...

G.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Music transcends

Today I was privileged to assess 2 of my year 13 group performances.

One group performed an original song called Polynesian Heaven - a song about living in "South Auckland" and seeing the beauty of the p[lace and the people while the media seeks to paint a different picture.

Sublime lyrics, tune, vocals and guitar playing.

The group went on to perform "On Eagle's Wings" - confident and assured throughout.

The second group were noticeably less confident with their first song, which shows the dangers of being unprepared...

Their second song though was the flipside - a joyous, infectious, confident and creative setting of "My Uncle John From Jamaica", with a delicious marimba line.

I have the best job in the world.

The ironic thing is that I actually get paid for it!!!!

Nevertheless, I "escaped" from my Polynesian Heaven at 1.10 to attend my "cafe heaven" with Lois, and then on to Cancer Society for a counselling session with Rebecca L - useful and positive, I found.

Physically feeling GREAT today - thanks for your prayers etc. - DON'T STOP, eh?

Much love to youse all.

By the way, you will have a chance to hear 3 delightful vocalists from my school at the start of the Psalms Concert - if you are there, of course!

Gerald.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Getting Used To It

I suppose once you get used to the routines it's okay.
The weird thing is I feel really okay.
Occasional twinges and dizziness, but nothing to make me phone the hospital.
I have to report all is well.
So far!
We'll see how this next week goes - I wonder if the chemo will make me feel progressively worse?
This Monday, Lois and I meet with Rebecca Lee, cancer society psychologist/counsellor.
Tuesday - pre-chemo assessment and bloodtest no.356
Wednesday - Haircut No. 2!!
Friday - pump off!
Sunday - Psalms Concert at 483/485 Richardson Rd (Mt Roskill Baptist Church).
plus teaching, "jamming", planning, rehearsing, blogging - life as per usual.
G.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

"Live Long and Prosper"

A catchphrase from the "Star Trek" movie the space family vW ventured forth to see this afternoon.

We are all now adept at the Vulcan salute/greeting, and my children now know the significnce of being "beamed up".

A more substantial review follows (look out also for reviews of Ballard's Hello America and C.W. Stoneking's Jungle Blues).

A lovely day - I had a few hatless episodes - regrettably my rasta hat is now more closely akin to a tea cosy!

Sophie had a piano lesson today - she is receiving rigorous, musical and inspiring training from Susan Smith, and is in the final stages of preparing for her Grade 4 exam.

We drove back from the movie on the new stretch of motorway - Sandringham Rd to Hillsborough Rd.

Tonight Lois and I will further embroider the time warp theme by watching William Shatner (the original Captain Kirk) as Denny Crane in "Boston Legal".

Tomorrow a Baxter family do.

Marking to do - luxury!

And of course prep for the Psalms Concert!

G.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Infinity and Beyond

I was struck by a thought yesterday which has been incredibly powerful for me.

We live in an infinite universe (though it appears that possibly it may be finite...)

God is an infinite being (especially if we believe He created "this place", i.e. the infinite universe).

Made in His/Their image, human beings contain infinity within themselves - infinite imagination, infinite capacity, infinite possibilities...

This was especially exciting for me today in terms of classroom teaching - awareness of myself as a truly creative being, and awareness of my students and colleagues as similarly limitless - perhaps limited only by fear.

Anyone reading this - don't be scared! Be Unlimited!

Day-by-day....recorded cd of viola music yesterday - thanks Chris W!

For someone in nutripenia, I didn't do too badly getting back home at 11.20pm!!

Today felt REALLY good - sometimes wonder if people expect me to be feeling weak, low, sad, tired, etc. - if so, sorry to disappoint (except that I'm not at all sorry for feeling well!!).

Some crappy student interactions today (not "my own" students), but ones that drove me to challenge the kids about how they are spending their time.

So, finally, may your tomorrow be God-given, God-shriven and God-driven!

Lots of infinite love,

G.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Maxi-update

It is the night before nutripenia (sp??).
When my immune system will be at its lowest ebb for the cycle, 7 days after the infusion.
It has been a very full few days since the last fullish blog written to you.
And, most thankfully, a very sweet week.
Symptoms have been minimal so far, and I'll go with that, thank you!
Even the diarrhoea was pretty minimal and harmless.
My appetite has not been affected at all - probably greater than ever!
I have now worn three different wigs at school - kids, staff and myself all seem to enjoy the novelty and fun.

Sunday was groovy - the Job song went well - it was lovely having Mike Coleman play a suitably mellow lead line over the verse, along with Andrew Finn on clarinet - you will have a chance to hear these guys "rock out" at the Psalms Concert on 24th May.

Lois has been in Oz since yesterday, and her sister Nola has been looking after us in the evening, cooking up lovely meals then staying on with her son Aren for a game of monopoly (Aren is so keen on it - reminds me of Alexander, indeed myself, when we were young and nothing seemed as important as playing monopoly!!!).

A really beautiful thing happened for me today - my "Super Twelve" group wrote a beautiful, tender song for me...I didn't dare ask who it was for, but of course the truth will out!
These kids...so direct, open, beautiful.
I hope no one asks me whether I enjoy teaching, or why I chose to go back to work.
25 years I've been doing this and it just gets better and better.
Since bowel op it's been exciting to reorient as to what is important in education, and I'll tell you something for nothing...it sure as hell ain't the paperwork...
I'm happy to argue this one of course, but be prepared to lose....
And if anyone from NZQA is reading this...it's never too late to change your career!
Enough politics (for now)...
Time for a sleep in preparation for going on (Sticky) TV tomorrow.

Lots of love, gifts, peace...

G.

mini-update

just to let you know I am still alive, thriving, and surviving (in no particular order).
will give a bit more detail tonight (the plan).
thoroughly enjoying every precious minute on this planet.
G.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

"I Know That My Redeemer Lives"

He that frees me.
From death, from everything.
To life everlasting and always good.
I at last shall see Him...
And with my own eyes, not second-hand.
Wow!

And this is from Job chapter 19 (verses 25 - 27).

Not even half way through the book!

And BEFORE God speaks to him about his suffering (Faith, Hope and Love).

I will be singing these verses at church tomorrow.
I last "performed" them at my father-in-law's funeral (Arthur).
I worked up the song to go and sing at Elim Christian College last year (after the Mangatepopo disaster which claimed 6 students and one teacher from their school community)...
Read the verses, if you aren't able to make it to my church tomorrow (MRBC on Richardson Rd) at 10am.

The verses state simply and strongly that we have no need to fear death and every reason to expect a wonderful meeting time on "the other side of the grave".

Other amazing things from today include:

5 years since my mother moved on.
My mother-in-law's birthday!
Oak leaves stampeding along the pathway at Cornwall Park.
The full moon rising, floating, flying, hiding and revealing itself...
Sophie's new, self-composed piano piece...
The trees you swim through at times in Cornwall Park.
Darn good coffee at Cafe O.
Alexander's helpfulness in many ways today.
My wife's kind, thoughtful eyes, energised by her smile.
Hugs and holding of hands....

Bach's preludes and fugues for keyboard.

Pain free and floating, without pumps or wires.

Care, gentleness, love.

And to answer questions and put you out of your misery, my last pre-chemo breakfast was appelstroop on buttered toast, and I did eventually call the hozzy about the hiccups...they said "oh, they didn't tell you about that side effect"!

I am about to see whether my Saturday evening appetite for butter chicken remains!

Yours,

Very Peaceful, thankful, hopeful...

Gerald.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

purple wigs and hiccups and dom perignon

Purple wig worn to school today - just for fun!
But I got thru the day wearing it, in all my classes, the staffroom, playground.
Scored 6 dates by morning interval - 3 from girls, 3 from boys (all in jest of course).

Catchphrase: "They told me there would be side effects, but I never expected this!"

Dom Perignon actually dom peridone - an anti-nausea pill in my little cocktail of pills.
I forgot to take it before lunch today - a case of chemo brain!
Managed to survive - my colleague Catherine N, a school nurse and Music Support Staff person, came in and sorted me out at the start of lesson 5 (after lunch - last lesson of day).
The last lesson was a bunch of boisterous, messy year 9s, 9L, who were most intrigued with the medicine and then my cancer story.
By the time I finished relating it, I had undone my shirt and shown them the maze of pipes, pump and pouch (and portacath) that is now part of being "surprisedbyGerald".
They were fascinated.

Theo took band this arvo, a real gift enabling me to escape to the seclusion of the staffroom for cheese toastie, feijoas and gingernuts - the appetite has not yet weakened (I know it's early days and I know that physically I am powerless to influence the goings-on in my own body).

Home, to the washing, firewood, dishes, Sophie practising piano (getting into Simon and Garfunkel at present - lovely to hear when I come through the front door) and Alexander into his maths (stuff I doubt I'll be able to rediscover).
Maria bringing pre-cooked meals to use for tomorrow, some pains where my bowel was stapled together and...HICCUPS!!!
Hiccups of quite a violent and incessant and disturbing nature...no longer there as I write...

Fred and Patricia bringing pizza from Ari's and sharing time, presence and poetry thru till blogtime...a beautiful one by Pat's daughter Ruth about a caged lion (metaphor for crippling illness, specifically arthritis).

Hiccups back!

Do I ring the "unwell number"?

Find out in the next exciting episode...

Love as always and forever,

Gerald.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

After the Haircut (haircut no.1)

I was spoilt for choice for titles for this blog.

The above-mentioned?

"Back to Wonderland"?

"Lois - missing in action (missing inaction)"?

"Folfiri's First Foray"?

"My life as a dizzy blonde"?

"Good drugs, bad drugs, red wine and chocolate"?

"Another Day of Gifts"?

I dunno.

Clearly I have been affected psychologically in what I feel is a very benign way.

It has been a beautiful, special and loving day.

I am very happy and not at all in pain/distress/discomfort etc.

I have met some very special people today and experienced great tenderness and love from friends, family etc.

Today I give thanks to Maria C (transport, company, catering, laughs),
Lois (keeping in touch when possible),
Lorna (presence and prayers and pick-ups),
nurses etc. (wonderful care),
Kerry (phone call, phriendship),
Pritika (chips and orange and ipod and hugs and good conversation),
Alexander and Sophie (self-reliance, patience and good humour - I am proud of you both),
Folfiri (getting stuck into my cancer),
Jonathan J (taking the weight from my metaphysical shoulders re: PPTA),
emailers, texters and blogfollowers (anonymous, ubiquitous and united),
Joke (reiki transmission)
God (mysterious, powerful and PRESENT in ways you can only experience for yourself)
and.......
Samson (mysterious, present and demanding, reminding me that there is always someone whose needs can be met by ME).

Love is the only thing that matters.

Believe it, live it and all else falls into place!

Really!

Amen (the name of my registrar yesterday is Aymen).

I send you my love - enjoy!!!

Gerald.

Chemo Day - Into Battle

Life is a battle.
Seems that way at least - no, IS that way.
That does not mean it isn't fun at least some if not most of the time.
But from the day we are conceived the battle begins.
Today is a more specific battle, but as I mentioned before, I have Folfiri on my side (or should that be "in my side"?).
I feel a little bit like the "damsel in distress" waiting in a high stone tower for the battle to be won by my champion...
On another level, as with all world wars, genocides, natural disasters, God holds all these things "in his hands" ("in her hands" for those of us recognising the need for gender identification with Deity).
He already knows the cards/the way the battle will play out/even the variables.
If God is in charge, why worry?
The fear of pain, nausea, losing senses, NOT being able to enjoy breakfast, music, teaching, viola, sex, hugs, ever again...
What do you think I had for my "last breakfast" this morning (no answers from you, Sophie, because you were there!)??

Thankyous to people for yesterday -
Lorna for dinner and companionship and looking after Sophie,
Pritika for organising parking and pre- and post-consult hugs,
the unsmiling wench at 3 Kings pharmacy who reminded me that smiles can make somebody's day,
the O.C. Super 12 who are faced with a much more "flexible" rehearsal schedule than we started with,
Ben Swann for being Ben Swann in my year 12 class (I left them in good hands!),
Janna Jones for explaining interesting and hopefully helpful machines,
The Simpsons for (continually) reminding me that there possibly are other families with similar levels of dysfunctionality,
the Hofmanns for (real) haircut, (good) wine, (shared) humour and (warm) friendship.

Catch you after Chemo Session 1!

Gerald.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Chemo -2

Very late now and this is all going to go a little bit James Joyce on you as I struggle with tiredness to write coherent stuff down a busy day today timetable says teach all 5 lessons I nip out for 40 minutes to do a blood test and am pleased to find my students carrying on woth their group performance a mark of teaching success or just lick or a mark of resilient and leadery studeudents? no i'm not even going to correct spelling so there chicken casserole from stu and maree which they shared with us delicious maree thank you in my home group (in my church) if someone is ill the assembled group will "lay hands" on them meaning they put their hands on them and pray for their healing this happened to me tonight and it was very good thank you home group harry belafonte singing a range of folk and work songs as i type tonight we habe had "Bee Gees" "Beirut" Rachmanino v and now Belafonte - love hs old songs got criticised by a student for spelling thru as thru today i thought yes you are learning something in english well done yesterday at church might have been my last go at viola it will depend on how the chemo thing goes i hope it is not my last go i hope that palying viola is something i can do until i stop breathing no lois today she gets back on wednesday evening she is down in chch Belafonte up to a song called Mark Twain Samson my cat bit a couple of peple tonight after making himself comfortable on their laps a strange and independent minded feline used an electric magnetic machine invented by a guy called frolov tonight - an interesting stimulating and tickly experiencve another busy day tomorrow will see you some time it's 11.37 g'night.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Chemo - 3

Sunday.
Sunny.
Cold.
Busy church time, the 2nd episode of our Job series.
Job's friends sitting with him in silence for a whole week before speaking.
Companionship.

A fun game of monopoly.
Monica, Heather Ian, Alex, Sophie and me.
(Ian won, building up a swathe of properties working from the red ones thru the yellow ones to the green ones - not bad for a beginner!)
Apologies from friends with colds - thank you for staying away!

Watching House and Boston Legal (1st ever episode) on DVD.

Sorting out best time for a blood test tomorrow.

Wondering how the chemo will affect me.

Love,

G.

Music and God

Music existed before the creation of the world.

Not necessarily music as we know it, constrained as it is by the "timebox" of life we are all bound by while on this planet.

Perhaps music as a spiritual entity - something beyond physicality or sound, even.

Angels sang before the world was begun, continue to sing the songs of creation, glorification, redemption and power and will sing forever.

And "down here" on earth and in life, most of us respond to music as a means of communication - a communication which, in its purest form, is "beyond words" (this is not to rank instrumental music above vocal music/songs - indeed, some poets/novelists make a case for language being music).

And we musicians attempt to communicate the intangible, the spiritual, the emotional through our organisation or liberation of sounds (hence the diverging pathways of "structuralists" and "improvisors").

We attempt to communicate with other performers, with listeners, and with the Object of our Worship (i.e. God).

As with everything else existing in the timebound planet, our efforts are as nothing compared to how things will be in the Perfect Place - in fact, there are unlikely to be "efforts" as such - more likely realisations, awareness, discoveries - huge, rich, plangent, symphonic discoveries.

Until that time of Unending Discovery, I, and many musicians more accomplished, more aware, share with you our present delight, dreams, love and gifts.

Much love,

Gerald.

"The Secret Life of Bees" (book review)

...by Sue Monk Kidd, Viking Penguin, 2001.

This book tells the story of Lily, a 14 year old girl who runs away from "home" in Sylvan, South Carolina, to Tiburon, South Carolina in 1964.

She is a girl with a terrible secret she has been keeping to herself since the age of 4, and the journey of significance in the book is her internal journey from fear and guilt and torment towards a place of courage, hope and peace.

For me this was one of the remarkable features of the storytelling.

I have already mentioned the movie, which was impressive in itself, and effectively captures the mood and message of the book.

In the book we are brought into Lily's inner sufferings and consequent release in a powerful way.

It is as if, in the course of the plot, Lily speaks from an increasingly spiritually and emotionally mature perspective.

This is not carried out with apparent labour, but happens most naturally.

From early on the character of Lily, who tells the story (1st person singular) draws us into her world and her secrets, and of course her humour.

Serious issues are tackled - the civil rights movement and the racist backlash, physical and emotional abuse, healing from damaged lives, forgiveness, faith/religion and coming of age...but are tackled with lightness/delicacy of approach.

For me one of the poignant moments was Lily describing her first romantic feelings for Zach, not through a blow by blow account of those feelings, but rather through describing her physical disorientation.

The book is suitable for readers of all ages, though I guess 12 years would be a minimum age for the readers being able to "get it" - the storytelling is simple, characterful and warm.

What do the bees have to do with it?

Read the book and draw your own conclusions!

Gerald.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

A Wet Winter's Day

Optician appointment with Alexander at 9am.
Marjan and Tante Stien arrived around 12pm.
Sophie - piano lesson, then after lunch out to movies.
Alexander out walking with a friend.
Around 4pm Stien and Marjan leave.
Tonight we will watch the final episode of 6 Feet Under.
Out for walk round the block in the dark.
Tomorrow monopoly at 3pm.

g'night.

G.

Friday, May 1, 2009

"Bridge Over Troubled Water"

This will be very brief.
A busy evening is scheduled.

Magic Pixies, are you there?
Lois and I are heading off to Tabou, in Kingsland, tonight, to celebrate my 47th birthday - Tabou has become a favourite haunt for both of us - excellent ambience, cuisine and service - very special.
Celebrating also the end of week one of work and ...er...the "joys" of chemo...

What a(nother) brilliant day!
Met with new teacher who is coming on board in week 5 - Lee Harford.
We will have a hugely interesting team of teachers in the Music Department (even more interesting than NOW!!).

Also, good lessons today - I have started a thing called the Friday Jukebox, where the students and I share our favourite music.
One of the tracks I played today was "Bridge Over Troubled Water" - if you snuggle down and listen to it very still, you will be in tears by the end of it ("Sir, are you all right?").

And, to top it all off, morning coffee featuring the best afghans in the world! (Still got room for Tabou food tho!)

Oh, and orientation for chemo...

Love,

Gerald.