So...imagine there is not very much time left.
Say, 24 hours.
Or perhaps 2 weeks.
Or 2 months.
A finite amount of time.
How would you spend it???
Funny how facing one's mortality makes one ponder the wasted times and what could have been.
But ALSO the good times, the full times, the heaven-here-on-earth times that have been.
For those of us who believe we are coming to the "transit lounge" of life, the next stage of the journey is, we are assured by those in whom is all our hope, MUCH BETTER than the journey so far (and that's been some journey).
For those of us who believe that our journey is finishing, we say goodbye to the struggles of the journey and look forward to a place of rest.
For me, personally, I am looking forward to moving thru the transit lounge and heading on to a place (some would call it home) of tremendous colours, beauty, visions, waterfalls, sunshine, all shot through with the presence of the person who made it all...
And if I do move on soon, then, because Heaven/Paradise/Home is not subject to time, you guys will be joining me in the twinkling of an eye!
Sweet!
Though it won't seem like that to you...
Did you ever do that thinking game about "if you could have someone/anyone over for dinner, from any period in history, who would it be?"
My 3 - Bob Marley, Beethoven and Jesus (although ironically it's now as though I'm getting a dinner invitation from Jesus now!) have been my 3 for a while.
Bob, cured of his brain tumour and his Rastafarian ways (Jesus to Bob: um, you got a bit lost there for a while, Bob...),
Beethoven cured of his deafness, and making music for eternity, and hearing stuff even better than what he could write (Jesus to Ludwig: I'd like you to write me a few more symphonies - maybe a sequel to the Ode to Joy, now that you are actually here in Elysium),
and me, free from stress, fear of surfing and also pain free (Jesus to Gerald: what were you so scared of??)
To revert to the physical world and to conclude, I have walked round the block today (a substantial achievement).
Tomorrow I'm aiming to do Cornwall Park after The Appointment (but no One Tree Hill, ok Lois?)
Visitors: Rosemary, Roshni, Maria, Malcolm, Kerry and Theo (all from Otahuhu College) - I declared it a fringe PPTA meeting (how many members does it take to form a Branch??), and we began planning our conspiracy - but actually we had a lovely time talking "shop" amongst other things...
Today's soundtrack courtesy of Elton John (Madman Across The Water) Billy Joel (Glass Houses) Buddy Holly Wyclef Jean (Masquerade) Jon and Vangelis and the Rolling Stones incognito (Jamming With Edward).
DVD request: The Mission (Jeremy Irons, Robert de Niro?), any old Star Trek or Dr Who you can spare.
Events on the Horizon: appointment 11.45am tomorrow, possible attendance at Super Twelve gig on Thu, visit to school on Fri, play viola in church on Sun morning...God willing.
Much love to "youse all",
Gerald.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Get on Board...
Today a combination of restfulness and peace and also anxiety and dread.
Great to have a visit from ex-colleagues Ian and Maureen, who came bearing much goodwill and yummy things.
We sat outside on the deck, and I received some "natural radiation treatment" from the sunshine.
My friend Maria brought more goodies, but came and went unannounced - I guess because I had other "official" visitors - the district nurse (still doing dressings on the wound) and a nurse from the cancer society - a very nice lady called Sheila, who left me with a good-sized wodge of "fascinating" reading material all about bowel cancer.
Some time between now and Wednesday 11.45am I suppose I had better read the stuff.
Wednesday 11.45am is my scheduled appointment with the surgical team, and naturally I find myself dreading this appointment, as it will not mince words or beat about the bush...part of my personality has never been that great at coping with bad news - I would much rather ignore it, deny it or distract myself from it - especially bad news about myself.
Perhaps this is one of the reasons why "A Time of Gifts" is so reassuring...beautiful descriptions, an air of nostalgia, eating and drinking merrily and wandering along the banks of the Great European rivers or into the mountains.
The book lifts the heaviness I feel, and which always feels at its worst in the morning (how lovely it would be to wake up and find the last few weeks have all been a bad dream, 'cos that's what it seems like)...
Managed to walk up (and down) the driveway today (for the uninitiated the driveway is a 300m, very steep, path, so this is not an insubstantial achievement)!
Great to have a visit from ex-colleagues Ian and Maureen, who came bearing much goodwill and yummy things.
We sat outside on the deck, and I received some "natural radiation treatment" from the sunshine.
My friend Maria brought more goodies, but came and went unannounced - I guess because I had other "official" visitors - the district nurse (still doing dressings on the wound) and a nurse from the cancer society - a very nice lady called Sheila, who left me with a good-sized wodge of "fascinating" reading material all about bowel cancer.
Some time between now and Wednesday 11.45am I suppose I had better read the stuff.
Wednesday 11.45am is my scheduled appointment with the surgical team, and naturally I find myself dreading this appointment, as it will not mince words or beat about the bush...part of my personality has never been that great at coping with bad news - I would much rather ignore it, deny it or distract myself from it - especially bad news about myself.
Perhaps this is one of the reasons why "A Time of Gifts" is so reassuring...beautiful descriptions, an air of nostalgia, eating and drinking merrily and wandering along the banks of the Great European rivers or into the mountains.
The book lifts the heaviness I feel, and which always feels at its worst in the morning (how lovely it would be to wake up and find the last few weeks have all been a bad dream, 'cos that's what it seems like)...
Managed to walk up (and down) the driveway today (for the uninitiated the driveway is a 300m, very steep, path, so this is not an insubstantial achievement)!
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Just wondering.
There seems to be a bit of interest in the treatment I've been having for a longstanding (3.5 years) condition where I've not been able to sit for long without moderate to severe pain from butt to foot, lost lots of flexibility, been in fairly constant discomfort, and incidentally have not really been able to run. Hamstring origin tear, hip cartilage tear, and hip bursitis are are parts of the explanation; it seems to me no-one is quite sure what combination of things causes all the trouble, and for sure no-one quite knows the best thing to do about it.
General explanation:
Extracorporeal Shock Wave Therapy (ESWT) devices generate pulses of high-pressure sound that travel through the skin. For reasons that are not fully understood, soft tissue and bone that are subjected to these pulses of high-pressure energy heal back stronger.
ESWT devices evolved from lithotripters (a.k.a. kidney stone shock wave machines). The beneficial effect of the high-pressure waves may be from the growth of new blood vessels ("neovascularization") in small cavities that are created by the pulses. New blood vessels to an area of tissue would promote healing.
After exhausting all treatment modalities prior to a proposed operation apart from this final one (the Shock Wave Therapy), I was prepared to give it a go. Anyways the surgeon (Bruce Twaddle) wouldn't operate till I had.
No detail is required: however I have had a remarkable response.
Just how remarkable remains to be seen as I build up activity.
In the first instance, though, I can sit fairly comfortably, am in little general pain, and flexibility has returned. Which is a different lifestyle altogether.
So I had a second treatment on Saturday, which entailed 3000 shocks to 3 different sites in my hip, about 2 a second.
Each of the 3 sites started off a little gently for a few minutes, then building up the intensity till on the verge of passing out from pain and nausea, and staying that way for about 10 minutes. One site entailed significantly less nausea than the other 2.
Kind of like having a baby, without the breaks.
Apparently the degree of pain is anecdotally linked to degree of response. No wonder I'm feeling so good!
Guts turn to water, migraine is triggered - but running again 30" this morning.
Let's see, shall we?
Oh, and - in response to a few comments I've had, Somerset Maugham had a back-handed compliment for the likes of me:
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
L
There seems to be a bit of interest in the treatment I've been having for a longstanding (3.5 years) condition where I've not been able to sit for long without moderate to severe pain from butt to foot, lost lots of flexibility, been in fairly constant discomfort, and incidentally have not really been able to run. Hamstring origin tear, hip cartilage tear, and hip bursitis are are parts of the explanation; it seems to me no-one is quite sure what combination of things causes all the trouble, and for sure no-one quite knows the best thing to do about it.
General explanation:
Extracorporeal Shock Wave Therapy (ESWT) devices generate pulses of high-pressure sound that travel through the skin. For reasons that are not fully understood, soft tissue and bone that are subjected to these pulses of high-pressure energy heal back stronger.
ESWT devices evolved from lithotripters (a.k.a. kidney stone shock wave machines). The beneficial effect of the high-pressure waves may be from the growth of new blood vessels ("neovascularization") in small cavities that are created by the pulses. New blood vessels to an area of tissue would promote healing.
After exhausting all treatment modalities prior to a proposed operation apart from this final one (the Shock Wave Therapy), I was prepared to give it a go. Anyways the surgeon (Bruce Twaddle) wouldn't operate till I had.
No detail is required: however I have had a remarkable response.
Just how remarkable remains to be seen as I build up activity.
In the first instance, though, I can sit fairly comfortably, am in little general pain, and flexibility has returned. Which is a different lifestyle altogether.
So I had a second treatment on Saturday, which entailed 3000 shocks to 3 different sites in my hip, about 2 a second.
Each of the 3 sites started off a little gently for a few minutes, then building up the intensity till on the verge of passing out from pain and nausea, and staying that way for about 10 minutes. One site entailed significantly less nausea than the other 2.
Kind of like having a baby, without the breaks.
Apparently the degree of pain is anecdotally linked to degree of response. No wonder I'm feeling so good!
Guts turn to water, migraine is triggered - but running again 30" this morning.
Let's see, shall we?
Oh, and - in response to a few comments I've had, Somerset Maugham had a back-handed compliment for the likes of me:
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
L
Sunday, March 29, 2009
"The Secret Life of Bees"
Lois, Sophie and I have just been out to this very gentle (mostly) but powerful movie, featuring Dakota Fanning (you may have caught her in "War of the Worlds" and "Charlotte's Web"), Queen Latifa (with a face that over the years has increasingly radiated joy and inner peace, seemingly effortlessly - not bad for an ex-"bad girl rapper"), Alicia Keys (as a very gifted and attractive cellist), and Sophie Okenode (Ms Jones in "Stormbreaker")...
Sadness, bitterness, but lives moving through forgiveness and total acceptance to wholeness and love.
Apparently the book is outstanding - I look forward to reading it soon.
Sophie scored free tickets to it, by being the ultimate Trojan pedestrian (walking to school) that she is.
Wish I could have won movie passes for walking to school when I was her age!
Today was also the first day back to church - NOT playing viola yet (although I had a great time jamming with Andrew and Oliver last Thursday)...maybe next Sunday.
Overwhelming to be welcomed by folks there who are praying for me...
And of course none of us knows where these prayers will lead for the time being.
This has been my second day staying out of bed - sure feels good!
Had a thought that it would be nice just to walk and walk and walk...once I'm ready ( abit like Forrest Gump, but slower!).
With my love to y'all!
Gerald.
Sadness, bitterness, but lives moving through forgiveness and total acceptance to wholeness and love.
Apparently the book is outstanding - I look forward to reading it soon.
Sophie scored free tickets to it, by being the ultimate Trojan pedestrian (walking to school) that she is.
Wish I could have won movie passes for walking to school when I was her age!
Today was also the first day back to church - NOT playing viola yet (although I had a great time jamming with Andrew and Oliver last Thursday)...maybe next Sunday.
Overwhelming to be welcomed by folks there who are praying for me...
And of course none of us knows where these prayers will lead for the time being.
This has been my second day staying out of bed - sure feels good!
Had a thought that it would be nice just to walk and walk and walk...once I'm ready ( abit like Forrest Gump, but slower!).
With my love to y'all!
Gerald.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
That's the Sound of the Men Working on the...
Chain gang?
Hardly.
But Brian Caston came by today and blew the leaves off our driveway, out of our porch area, and I think took some out of our gutters.
For those of you who know our house, you will know that this is a major task (even worse in the rain)...
For those who don't know the house, suffice to say that it is very leafy around here...Thanks, Brian!
Today was a minor milestone - the leaking has subsided substantially and after getting out of bed this morning I have not been back there...
I have been lounging in the lounge, dining in the dining room and kitsching in the kitchen.
The lack of pain - residual, collateral - has been good today.
Graeme, Rosalie and Talia came by in the afternoon, followed closely by 2 more ex-students, Kayla and Christine.
Once again, it is fun to make links between people, or even simply to listen to their stories without making the links.
A restful day then, with more sunshine and good music and chat...
Lois has had her second (and last?) round of 3000 electric shocks, so this afternoon it was a case of the sick comforting the sick...
Love,
G.
Hardly.
But Brian Caston came by today and blew the leaves off our driveway, out of our porch area, and I think took some out of our gutters.
For those of you who know our house, you will know that this is a major task (even worse in the rain)...
For those who don't know the house, suffice to say that it is very leafy around here...Thanks, Brian!
Today was a minor milestone - the leaking has subsided substantially and after getting out of bed this morning I have not been back there...
I have been lounging in the lounge, dining in the dining room and kitsching in the kitchen.
The lack of pain - residual, collateral - has been good today.
Graeme, Rosalie and Talia came by in the afternoon, followed closely by 2 more ex-students, Kayla and Christine.
Once again, it is fun to make links between people, or even simply to listen to their stories without making the links.
A restful day then, with more sunshine and good music and chat...
Lois has had her second (and last?) round of 3000 electric shocks, so this afternoon it was a case of the sick comforting the sick...
Love,
G.
Friday, March 27, 2009
A Time of Gifts
This is the title of the book I am currently reading, sent to me by my sister, Marjan, who lives in Wellington.
And today has indeed been a "time of gifts".
I won't itemise them heavily - that might be a bit utilitarian and really everything that has come my way today has been a gift.
But I will mention 3 gifts that came my way...
First of all Lois's gift of attendance and attention this morning and at lunch and at times when the whole thinking-about-Death thing became overwhelming.
Thank you, Lois!
Secondly, Andrew Barron's gift of Music (he's only gone and lent me the solo albums of the former members of The Band - a whole new world of music just opened up).
Thank you, Andrew!
Thirdly the gift of tickets to go and see the Killers when they play here on April 8th, from Marc Fountain and his band of brothers ....
Thank you, Marc and co.
Fourthly, Gafa Maiava (Sophie's teacher from year 5) visiting and singing me a beautiful song by Leanne Womack called "I Hope You Dance" (Gafa tells me this is accessible on YouTube).
But there have been many many lovely gifts this day - the biggest gift being the people that God sent my way to share time, laughs, food, drink and aroha throughout the day!
I am going to start a little visitors' book I think so people can leave their name and a message if they would like to!
In the meantime shouts go out to Rosalie (district nurse), Plonie (sister) Dierdre (friend from Uni days), Andrew (PPTA FO), Tim (bro-in-law with surgery to sinuses that happened yesterday), Coralie (friend from Church, primary school, junior athletics, "Uni"), Kerry and Theo (carpooling buddies to the end), Andrew Clasby (Buena Vista Social Club "fixer"),Maree (piano/keyboard teacher from school) and anybody and everybody else who dropped by today...thank you for making this day SPECIAL!
Love,
G.
p.s. if you did drop by today and your name is NOT written in this blog yet, let me know and I will fix it ("virtual" presence doesn't count though....but thanks for the phone callers too!)
And today has indeed been a "time of gifts".
I won't itemise them heavily - that might be a bit utilitarian and really everything that has come my way today has been a gift.
But I will mention 3 gifts that came my way...
First of all Lois's gift of attendance and attention this morning and at lunch and at times when the whole thinking-about-Death thing became overwhelming.
Thank you, Lois!
Secondly, Andrew Barron's gift of Music (he's only gone and lent me the solo albums of the former members of The Band - a whole new world of music just opened up).
Thank you, Andrew!
Thirdly the gift of tickets to go and see the Killers when they play here on April 8th, from Marc Fountain and his band of brothers ....
Thank you, Marc and co.
Fourthly, Gafa Maiava (Sophie's teacher from year 5) visiting and singing me a beautiful song by Leanne Womack called "I Hope You Dance" (Gafa tells me this is accessible on YouTube).
But there have been many many lovely gifts this day - the biggest gift being the people that God sent my way to share time, laughs, food, drink and aroha throughout the day!
I am going to start a little visitors' book I think so people can leave their name and a message if they would like to!
In the meantime shouts go out to Rosalie (district nurse), Plonie (sister) Dierdre (friend from Uni days), Andrew (PPTA FO), Tim (bro-in-law with surgery to sinuses that happened yesterday), Coralie (friend from Church, primary school, junior athletics, "Uni"), Kerry and Theo (carpooling buddies to the end), Andrew Clasby (Buena Vista Social Club "fixer"),Maree (piano/keyboard teacher from school) and anybody and everybody else who dropped by today...thank you for making this day SPECIAL!
Love,
G.
p.s. if you did drop by today and your name is NOT written in this blog yet, let me know and I will fix it ("virtual" presence doesn't count though....but thanks for the phone callers too!)
The Unknown Distance to the Great Beyond
Having failed the original Wonder Woman auditions on mammary size and leg length, I considered another attempt at the title based on sheer number of jobs and project streams and stakeholders simultaneously being managed right now (Gerald as invalid, friend and partner, Alexander's & Sophie's negotiation of change, job/business, travel, home and school business as usual, finance, familyFriendsCarers ...).
But not for long. Just a few moments' further thought reminded me that
a) excellence, not just willingness to attempt would probably be required and
b) I can't possibly do it all, and the outpouring of practical friendship is a great lesson to me - as well as the only way this could work.
It turns out you can observe a lot by just watching ;-)
L
But not for long. Just a few moments' further thought reminded me that
a) excellence, not just willingness to attempt would probably be required and
b) I can't possibly do it all, and the outpouring of practical friendship is a great lesson to me - as well as the only way this could work.
It turns out you can observe a lot by just watching ;-)
L
Thursday, March 26, 2009
2001: A Space Odyssey
This is a movie that the great American director Stanley Kubrick released in 1968.
I went to see it with my Dad and at least 1 sister soon after release, in the huge Auckland cinema known as the Cinerama (since obliterated from Queen Street).
Over the years I saw this movie in the cinema 14 times, and of course am now the proud owner of the dvd.
Why does it have such a strong appeal for me, and why am I writing about it NOW??
First of all, it was and remains an absolutely convincing "reconstruction" of Outer Space - the stars, one could almost swear, are all exactly in the right place - so well-researched is the movie that astronauts, yet to swet foot on the moon, watched with awe and wonder as Kubrick showed them what to expect when they got there.
Secondly, the light (go see any Kubrick movie and marvel at his use of light and space) and the music (using music by both Johann and Richard Strauss, Kubrick conjures both the beauty of space travel and the almost religious solemnity of mankind's movement through the solar system/universe).
Finally though the thing that has struck me upon my most recent viewing of the movie (in a hospital ward with the lights off and the headphones plugged in and the epidural taking me in and out of consciousness) is the concept of moving beyond this solar system, this universe, this life...into the infinite...
Because this is where we are all heading, sooner or later (some of us sooner)...and, as in the movie, the astronaut heads into this final destination ALONE (and is reborn!)...
So, Kubrick has given us a wonderful taste/preview/interpretation of what is to come, and this makes the movie well worth at least ONE visit.
I could go on, but realise that I may already have lost some non-Kubrick-buffs.
See it for yourselves and let me know!!'
Luv,
G.
I went to see it with my Dad and at least 1 sister soon after release, in the huge Auckland cinema known as the Cinerama (since obliterated from Queen Street).
Over the years I saw this movie in the cinema 14 times, and of course am now the proud owner of the dvd.
Why does it have such a strong appeal for me, and why am I writing about it NOW??
First of all, it was and remains an absolutely convincing "reconstruction" of Outer Space - the stars, one could almost swear, are all exactly in the right place - so well-researched is the movie that astronauts, yet to swet foot on the moon, watched with awe and wonder as Kubrick showed them what to expect when they got there.
Secondly, the light (go see any Kubrick movie and marvel at his use of light and space) and the music (using music by both Johann and Richard Strauss, Kubrick conjures both the beauty of space travel and the almost religious solemnity of mankind's movement through the solar system/universe).
Finally though the thing that has struck me upon my most recent viewing of the movie (in a hospital ward with the lights off and the headphones plugged in and the epidural taking me in and out of consciousness) is the concept of moving beyond this solar system, this universe, this life...into the infinite...
Because this is where we are all heading, sooner or later (some of us sooner)...and, as in the movie, the astronaut heads into this final destination ALONE (and is reborn!)...
So, Kubrick has given us a wonderful taste/preview/interpretation of what is to come, and this makes the movie well worth at least ONE visit.
I could go on, but realise that I may already have lost some non-Kubrick-buffs.
See it for yourselves and let me know!!'
Luv,
G.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Another Day For You and Me in Paradise...
Nurse came.
Ooze minimal yesterday, and not worrying.
Sandy came.
Water lillies.
Carol came.
House looking immaculate once more.
Sunshine all thru the day.
Gillian came.
Left soup books and dvd.
More loungy day today owing to seepage still there.
Decided on psalms for psalms concert.
Fantastic new from UK - Richard has new job as vicar of church in Tulse Hill - very exciting move for Richard and Ruth.
Music today from Steve Earle, Eagles, E.L.O.
Today's after-dinner movie - The Spy Who Loved Me (James Bond 1977 - Roger Moore).
I would love to get a copy of "Buena Vista Social Club" and "Amazing Grace"...
Night came.
Time for some kind of slumber.
On Saturday Lois will have 3000 electric shocks in an effort to help her legs mend...
Love,
Gerald.
Ooze minimal yesterday, and not worrying.
Sandy came.
Water lillies.
Carol came.
House looking immaculate once more.
Sunshine all thru the day.
Gillian came.
Left soup books and dvd.
More loungy day today owing to seepage still there.
Decided on psalms for psalms concert.
Fantastic new from UK - Richard has new job as vicar of church in Tulse Hill - very exciting move for Richard and Ruth.
Music today from Steve Earle, Eagles, E.L.O.
Today's after-dinner movie - The Spy Who Loved Me (James Bond 1977 - Roger Moore).
I would love to get a copy of "Buena Vista Social Club" and "Amazing Grace"...
Night came.
Time for some kind of slumber.
On Saturday Lois will have 3000 electric shocks in an effort to help her legs mend...
Love,
Gerald.
Which is the real world? Part 2.
But I shall go down from this airy place, this swift white peace, this stinging exultation.
And time will close about me, and my soul stir to the rhythm of the daily round.
Yet, having known, life will not press so close, and always I shall feel time ravel thin about me;
For once I stood
In the white windy presence of eternity.
(Eunice Tietjens.)
... and now for the daily dose of medecine (the funny-bone tickling kind), here's something Gerald and I laughed at, a lot, in January when it was particularly topical.
Don't use the link if you think you may be offended, as you probably will be.
(And if you are Alexander or Sophie, you will find it too boring, don't bother :-))
For anyone else
http://politicalirony.com/2008/11/30/robin-williams-on-obamas-election/
Off to beat this business (Transformation Analytics) into a little more shape ...
L
And time will close about me, and my soul stir to the rhythm of the daily round.
Yet, having known, life will not press so close, and always I shall feel time ravel thin about me;
For once I stood
In the white windy presence of eternity.
(Eunice Tietjens.)
... and now for the daily dose of medecine (the funny-bone tickling kind), here's something Gerald and I laughed at, a lot, in January when it was particularly topical.
Don't use the link if you think you may be offended, as you probably will be.
(And if you are Alexander or Sophie, you will find it too boring, don't bother :-))
For anyone else
http://politicalirony.com/2008/11/30/robin-williams-on-obamas-election/
Off to beat this business (Transformation Analytics) into a little more shape ...
L
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
A Day in the Life...
Sometimes you just have to let it all go...
This morning was like that for me.
Leaky wound, chances of getting thru this disease minimal, wife in Oz, LONELY.
It's all right to cry...the better you cry the better you can laugh.
Last Friday I was in hysterics as Rosemary, Lynette and Malcolm described the Niuean group performance at our school's fiafia (dress rehearsal) night for this year's Polyfest (hmmm...maybe that's what got the stitches loose??????).
Today Lorna, my ma-in-law came and changed my dressing. She is a beautiful, relaxed lady who has given so much of herself to her family and to my situation recently.
Nola has been a blessing too. Tho not a trained nurse, she has dedicated herself to looking after me, cooking yummy meals and checking always what needs to be done...
Aren, Nola's son, continues to be cheerful, bubbly, energetic and helpful...he will be a fine young man when he grows up!
I received a text from the Greenlane Clinic - next Wednesday at 11.45 I have an appointment where I will be told "what is what" - this is prior to a meeting with the Oncology team, where specific treatment will be discussed.
I am nervous about this appointment - I hate having appointments to hear bad news...
I will be presenting a concert of psalms at Mount Roskill Baptist Church on Sunday 24th May - breaking from tradition with previous concerts, I will be choosing 10 psalms which I think best reflect that movement from heart's cry in the depths thru to transcendant praise - I hope to be physically okay on this day!
Jude, the oncology district nurse, came and checked my wound today, which was reassuring...tomorrow a different nurse will come, to check again - what a great service!
Kay Shacklock visited after this, and we had a really good chat about our families - she has 2 boys, Stuart 16 and Tim 14 who are getting into the performing arts.
She has invited us over to Howick which will be fun, as Tony, her husband, may give us a little spin in his Lotus.
Kay was followed by Trevor my PPTA buddy (Southern Ward Executive Rep), and we had a quick chat about Tongan 1st birthday parties before he had to go back to school.
Trevor was followed by Adele, and a massive discussion about writing and creativity followed. Adele is a published writer, and it was fascinating to get an insight into her creative process, and compare it to creative processes/movements in other art forms.
Adele was succeeded by Kerry and Theo, my "carpool brethren", and Vijaya Naidu, also a colleague from school.
Kerry, as is his wont, updated me with all the ins and outs of the British Premiere League, Theo gave me a rundown of last Thursday's Coldplay gig, Vijaya offered me some Indian meals when I'm ready (hopefully soon!), and I gave a verbal report on The Who.
We sat on the deck in the fading sunshine...very comfy (and my first time outside post-op).
6pm rolled along and Renata picked me up for a meeting with parents about the Noumea trip that Sophie will be heading out on in October.
Then all back to 26C and a delicious meal!
With red wine (the anti-oxidant diet).
A full day.
Ups and downs for sure, and once again more ups than downs.
Yes my life will be shorter than I would have expected (unless a miracle of healing occurs, which I certainly will not rule out)...maybe a lot shorter.
And today has been a gift from God for me...I hope your day also has been a gift, not taken for granted, but worked thru, savoured (like red wine) and shared with people you love and who love you!
Goodnight everyone,
Love,
Gerald.
(4000 holes in Blackburn, Lancashire...)
This morning was like that for me.
Leaky wound, chances of getting thru this disease minimal, wife in Oz, LONELY.
It's all right to cry...the better you cry the better you can laugh.
Last Friday I was in hysterics as Rosemary, Lynette and Malcolm described the Niuean group performance at our school's fiafia (dress rehearsal) night for this year's Polyfest (hmmm...maybe that's what got the stitches loose??????).
Today Lorna, my ma-in-law came and changed my dressing. She is a beautiful, relaxed lady who has given so much of herself to her family and to my situation recently.
Nola has been a blessing too. Tho not a trained nurse, she has dedicated herself to looking after me, cooking yummy meals and checking always what needs to be done...
Aren, Nola's son, continues to be cheerful, bubbly, energetic and helpful...he will be a fine young man when he grows up!
I received a text from the Greenlane Clinic - next Wednesday at 11.45 I have an appointment where I will be told "what is what" - this is prior to a meeting with the Oncology team, where specific treatment will be discussed.
I am nervous about this appointment - I hate having appointments to hear bad news...
I will be presenting a concert of psalms at Mount Roskill Baptist Church on Sunday 24th May - breaking from tradition with previous concerts, I will be choosing 10 psalms which I think best reflect that movement from heart's cry in the depths thru to transcendant praise - I hope to be physically okay on this day!
Jude, the oncology district nurse, came and checked my wound today, which was reassuring...tomorrow a different nurse will come, to check again - what a great service!
Kay Shacklock visited after this, and we had a really good chat about our families - she has 2 boys, Stuart 16 and Tim 14 who are getting into the performing arts.
She has invited us over to Howick which will be fun, as Tony, her husband, may give us a little spin in his Lotus.
Kay was followed by Trevor my PPTA buddy (Southern Ward Executive Rep), and we had a quick chat about Tongan 1st birthday parties before he had to go back to school.
Trevor was followed by Adele, and a massive discussion about writing and creativity followed. Adele is a published writer, and it was fascinating to get an insight into her creative process, and compare it to creative processes/movements in other art forms.
Adele was succeeded by Kerry and Theo, my "carpool brethren", and Vijaya Naidu, also a colleague from school.
Kerry, as is his wont, updated me with all the ins and outs of the British Premiere League, Theo gave me a rundown of last Thursday's Coldplay gig, Vijaya offered me some Indian meals when I'm ready (hopefully soon!), and I gave a verbal report on The Who.
We sat on the deck in the fading sunshine...very comfy (and my first time outside post-op).
6pm rolled along and Renata picked me up for a meeting with parents about the Noumea trip that Sophie will be heading out on in October.
Then all back to 26C and a delicious meal!
With red wine (the anti-oxidant diet).
A full day.
Ups and downs for sure, and once again more ups than downs.
Yes my life will be shorter than I would have expected (unless a miracle of healing occurs, which I certainly will not rule out)...maybe a lot shorter.
And today has been a gift from God for me...I hope your day also has been a gift, not taken for granted, but worked thru, savoured (like red wine) and shared with people you love and who love you!
Goodnight everyone,
Love,
Gerald.
(4000 holes in Blackburn, Lancashire...)
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Good, the Bad and the Oozy
Apologies to all highly-literate blogsters reading this if "oozy" is spelt wrong - oozey looks a bit Disney and "Ouzi" is definitely the wrong usage...more of which later.
GOOD - had a REAL coffee with Lois before she went to Oz (not to be confused with ooze)...
listened to the sweet sweet music and redemptive message of Lucky Dube on "Taxman"...if you like reggae, I thoroughly recommend this artist, shot dead 2 years ago in South Africa after dropping his boys off at school...more on the Christian than Rastafarian side of the "spiritual spectrum"...
Nola arrived and prepared me a wonderful lunch - 2 slices of home made oat bread (gentler than wheat} topped with hard boiled free range egg...
Book, "A Time of Gifts" arrived from my sister, Marjan in Wellington - looking forward to devouring it reading-wise...
and much more besides...
BAD - that India have to hold their cricket league games outside of India due to political unrest...
That Madagascar has been thrown once again into political unrest with yet another coup...
Charlton Heston's hairstyle in "Planet of the Apes" (1968)(check with the chimps)...
OOZY - my little leaky wound from the stitch-up, hopefully now sorted by Dr John (Russell, of Hillsborough Medical Centre) and if need be to be checked by a district nurse (someone mentioned the name Gladys Emmanuel) on Wednesday...
CONCLUSION...that there is infinitely more good than bad in the world, tho of course perspective changes depending on whether you've had a good cup of coffee!
luv,
G.
GOOD - had a REAL coffee with Lois before she went to Oz (not to be confused with ooze)...
listened to the sweet sweet music and redemptive message of Lucky Dube on "Taxman"...if you like reggae, I thoroughly recommend this artist, shot dead 2 years ago in South Africa after dropping his boys off at school...more on the Christian than Rastafarian side of the "spiritual spectrum"...
Nola arrived and prepared me a wonderful lunch - 2 slices of home made oat bread (gentler than wheat} topped with hard boiled free range egg...
Book, "A Time of Gifts" arrived from my sister, Marjan in Wellington - looking forward to devouring it reading-wise...
and much more besides...
BAD - that India have to hold their cricket league games outside of India due to political unrest...
That Madagascar has been thrown once again into political unrest with yet another coup...
Charlton Heston's hairstyle in "Planet of the Apes" (1968)(check with the chimps)...
OOZY - my little leaky wound from the stitch-up, hopefully now sorted by Dr John (Russell, of Hillsborough Medical Centre) and if need be to be checked by a district nurse (someone mentioned the name Gladys Emmanuel) on Wednesday...
CONCLUSION...that there is infinitely more good than bad in the world, tho of course perspective changes depending on whether you've had a good cup of coffee!
luv,
G.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
4 Steps to Build a Strong Core
The title of an article in my Active.com newsletter caught my eye. I think it's a bit late if I haven't done that already, don't you?
Anyways, planks and long-lever swiss ball crunches (!) are all very well, but unexpected and major crises are pretty effective in continuing the real inner-strength building.
Gerald is feeling loads better. I went "back to work" on Friday, not so easy but possible, necessary, and a good balance for me, too.
Sophie and I attended the open day at St Cuthbert's yesterday, which was alarmingly inspiring for S. I think she really enjoyed seeing that there are places (including this one) where no objective she set herself would be considered too high.
Alexander's parent-teacher afternoon on Thursday was a truly enjoyable time to spend with him. Encouraging, inspiring teachers who are helping impart enjoyment of learning per se (I think!). And Maths is GO, sitting iGCSE this year, all students expected by precedent to receive at least an A, which will add a bit of spice to life come October/November.
I'll be spending 3 days in Sydney on business this week, as we won't be back in at the hospital to get any more news yet. My sister Nola is coming to stay in order to educate Gerald in the true benefits of macro-vega-bioganic healing approaches and the evils of the medical system (a smile wafts gently up from the page, this is another place where I need my "beware sense of humour" sign).
In truth she is coming up from the Coromandel with her 6-yr old at my request - thanks a million, Nola. The only drawback is that Nola is loads nicer than me, so I am in trouble when I get back ...
Anyways, planks and long-lever swiss ball crunches (!) are all very well, but unexpected and major crises are pretty effective in continuing the real inner-strength building.
Gerald is feeling loads better. I went "back to work" on Friday, not so easy but possible, necessary, and a good balance for me, too.
Sophie and I attended the open day at St Cuthbert's yesterday, which was alarmingly inspiring for S. I think she really enjoyed seeing that there are places (including this one) where no objective she set herself would be considered too high.
Alexander's parent-teacher afternoon on Thursday was a truly enjoyable time to spend with him. Encouraging, inspiring teachers who are helping impart enjoyment of learning per se (I think!). And Maths is GO, sitting iGCSE this year, all students expected by precedent to receive at least an A, which will add a bit of spice to life come October/November.
I'll be spending 3 days in Sydney on business this week, as we won't be back in at the hospital to get any more news yet. My sister Nola is coming to stay in order to educate Gerald in the true benefits of macro-vega-bioganic healing approaches and the evils of the medical system (a smile wafts gently up from the page, this is another place where I need my "beware sense of humour" sign).
In truth she is coming up from the Coromandel with her 6-yr old at my request - thanks a million, Nola. The only drawback is that Nola is loads nicer than me, so I am in trouble when I get back ...
A Night With The Who
Been away for a couple of days.
Sorry if this has created a bit of a grey spot for the more devoted followers of the Blog.
As a result, like those good ol' number 15 London buses, you may find 3 postings turning up at the same time.
Last night was all about going to The Who.
At least the 2 surviving members - Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend, augmented now by Zach Starkey (son of Ringo) on drums - the spirit and sound of Keith Moon live on! - and Pino Palladino on bass (a phenomenal bass player, and with about the same degree of stage presence as John Entwistle).
They were supported by local oldies band from the 70s, Hello Sailor, and Counting Crows (American band - some lovely musical moments).
Our thanks go to Mike Barker, who organised transport for us and helped with organising a wheelchair, and his daughter Sarah Fleming who did a lot of the wheelchair access donkey work.
A special night!
They began with "I Can't Explain" and their background screen showed shots of the old, old Who.
What followed was a wide variety of rocky, reflective and classy songs (classic songs, no less), and after 2 hours we still hadn't heard all the hits!
Tommy was presented as an encore (a few songs, kicked off with Pinball Wizard sounding as fresh as 40 years ago - 40 years!!!!).
Roger has lost little of his vocal power and sensitivity, and Pete is still a wonderfully creative and powerful guitarist who now threatens his amplifiers rather than annihilating them.
And the sense of humour is still intact.
However, one cannot help but be struck by the irony of the lines "hope I die before I get old"....
Favourite song "Behind Blue Eyes"....phew!
....by the way, if anyone would like their concert reviewed by me, just send me the tickets and I'll be there!
Time to go now ....catch the next bus.
Sorry if this has created a bit of a grey spot for the more devoted followers of the Blog.
As a result, like those good ol' number 15 London buses, you may find 3 postings turning up at the same time.
Last night was all about going to The Who.
At least the 2 surviving members - Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend, augmented now by Zach Starkey (son of Ringo) on drums - the spirit and sound of Keith Moon live on! - and Pino Palladino on bass (a phenomenal bass player, and with about the same degree of stage presence as John Entwistle).
They were supported by local oldies band from the 70s, Hello Sailor, and Counting Crows (American band - some lovely musical moments).
Our thanks go to Mike Barker, who organised transport for us and helped with organising a wheelchair, and his daughter Sarah Fleming who did a lot of the wheelchair access donkey work.
A special night!
They began with "I Can't Explain" and their background screen showed shots of the old, old Who.
What followed was a wide variety of rocky, reflective and classy songs (classic songs, no less), and after 2 hours we still hadn't heard all the hits!
Tommy was presented as an encore (a few songs, kicked off with Pinball Wizard sounding as fresh as 40 years ago - 40 years!!!!).
Roger has lost little of his vocal power and sensitivity, and Pete is still a wonderfully creative and powerful guitarist who now threatens his amplifiers rather than annihilating them.
And the sense of humour is still intact.
However, one cannot help but be struck by the irony of the lines "hope I die before I get old"....
Favourite song "Behind Blue Eyes"....phew!
....by the way, if anyone would like their concert reviewed by me, just send me the tickets and I'll be there!
Time to go now ....catch the next bus.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Whatever Gets You Through the Night
I am hoping that getting me thru the night tonight will be a suitable combination of...drugs (panadol, not intending to use morphine, tho that is there as a backstop), my prayer bear (thanks to the Prayer Team at Mt Roskill Baptist Church - Alexander and Sophie suitably envious), and the knowledge that I have eaten and drunk enough for today.
Visitors today - my sister Joke (pronounced Yo-ker), with deliciously decadent caramel slices, a dollop of Reiki therapy (to ease the pain) and humour and patience, Bill Woodward from church (armed with the prayer bear - must give it a name), Brian Hill my bro-in-law (to drag Joke back to the North Shore, with the promise of a scrabble event tomorrow) and Kirsty my assistant from school (we did do our best not to talk about work). A reminder that visiting hours finish at 7pm round here, and also that on Saturday I shall be making every effort to spend at least some time in the presence of The Who - will let you know how I got on!
Haven't been reading the bible voraciously since cancer diagnosis, but have been feeding on the good bits I already know pretty well - the trick is to internalise the words, make them real and alive on the inside.
Love, Gerald.
Visitors today - my sister Joke (pronounced Yo-ker), with deliciously decadent caramel slices, a dollop of Reiki therapy (to ease the pain) and humour and patience, Bill Woodward from church (armed with the prayer bear - must give it a name), Brian Hill my bro-in-law (to drag Joke back to the North Shore, with the promise of a scrabble event tomorrow) and Kirsty my assistant from school (we did do our best not to talk about work). A reminder that visiting hours finish at 7pm round here, and also that on Saturday I shall be making every effort to spend at least some time in the presence of The Who - will let you know how I got on!
Haven't been reading the bible voraciously since cancer diagnosis, but have been feeding on the good bits I already know pretty well - the trick is to internalise the words, make them real and alive on the inside.
Love, Gerald.
We don't need no thought control
It's a tempting concept, though! Positive thought injections coming up now, with more water, panadol and a light breakfast.
A sense of humour is a great medical aid (I think that's a quote from the Bible).
A trip to the Dr (GP) this morning will, we hope, give us a little more process information, at least.
:-D to you.
L
A sense of humour is a great medical aid (I think that's a quote from the Bible).
A trip to the Dr (GP) this morning will, we hope, give us a little more process information, at least.
:-D to you.
L
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Don't Just Lie There...
So what have I been up to today??
Not a lot.
Biggest achievement was passing 2 bowel motions (when Gravity calls, you need to respond).
But I figure that even "just lying here" must help the healing a bit.
I am now able to lie pretty flat without my stitches hurting.
Tomorrow Lois will take me to the doctor's at 9.45 for a check-in/check-up/debrief.
Visitors today included Carla and Paul, passing thru on their way to Rotorua for a conference, my mother-in-law Lorna, who got the morning sun on her back, Ollie and Renata (finally the beer arrived!), come to take Alex to Coldplay, seventh form student Starzya Emery (who came looking for me yesterday at Ak Hosp. with a St Patrick's hat) and, from school, Theo, Kerry and Gil.
Gil informs me the school is front page news because of our fiafia night.
So yes even though laid back, not uneventful.
Music for today: Cat Stevens' Teaser and the Firecat and Bruce Springsteen's The River.
Not a lot.
Biggest achievement was passing 2 bowel motions (when Gravity calls, you need to respond).
But I figure that even "just lying here" must help the healing a bit.
I am now able to lie pretty flat without my stitches hurting.
Tomorrow Lois will take me to the doctor's at 9.45 for a check-in/check-up/debrief.
Visitors today included Carla and Paul, passing thru on their way to Rotorua for a conference, my mother-in-law Lorna, who got the morning sun on her back, Ollie and Renata (finally the beer arrived!), come to take Alex to Coldplay, seventh form student Starzya Emery (who came looking for me yesterday at Ak Hosp. with a St Patrick's hat) and, from school, Theo, Kerry and Gil.
Gil informs me the school is front page news because of our fiafia night.
So yes even though laid back, not uneventful.
Music for today: Cat Stevens' Teaser and the Firecat and Bruce Springsteen's The River.
Scary Monsters
Luckily when I upgraded our landline speech-oriented connection device recently (aka phone, I think), I happened to get a dual handset version.
Which allows intercom access between upstairs at the extreme north-westerly part of the house (main bedroom), and downstairs at the extreme south-easterly part (my office).
All I have to remember to do when I'm down here is actually bring a phone with me.
Gerald is home and relatively comfortable, I think, though who am I to say so? You'll hear it from him, I need say little.
Feel free to phone - +649 624 1232.
Visitors welcome, with a preference for closing visiting hours by 7 or so to allow a bit of normality for the family.
Obviously there will be welcome exceptions to this - just check!
L
Which allows intercom access between upstairs at the extreme north-westerly part of the house (main bedroom), and downstairs at the extreme south-easterly part (my office).
All I have to remember to do when I'm down here is actually bring a phone with me.
Gerald is home and relatively comfortable, I think, though who am I to say so? You'll hear it from him, I need say little.
Feel free to phone - +649 624 1232.
Visitors welcome, with a preference for closing visiting hours by 7 or so to allow a bit of normality for the family.
Obviously there will be welcome exceptions to this - just check!
L
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Homeward Bound
After 8 days of very good care and service at Ak Hospital, it seemed a pity that they went and shot themselves in the proverbial foot taking a good 5 and a half hours to discharge me today.
A test of patients (as is the rocky road currently outside the Hospital - must be part of the triage process 0 if you can survive Grafton Rd you probly don't need hospital!)
Back home today - what a relief to crawl info my own bed again...the house decorated either for my homecoming or leftovers from Sophie's party (possibly both).
So come over any time now - call first is probly best idea.
I won't be heading out anywhere in a hurry...
There are many things I am looking forward to doing now that I'm home, but engaging with the delights of solid motion post-bowel op is not one of them!
Love,
Gerald.
A test of patients (as is the rocky road currently outside the Hospital - must be part of the triage process 0 if you can survive Grafton Rd you probly don't need hospital!)
Back home today - what a relief to crawl info my own bed again...the house decorated either for my homecoming or leftovers from Sophie's party (possibly both).
So come over any time now - call first is probly best idea.
I won't be heading out anywhere in a hurry...
There are many things I am looking forward to doing now that I'm home, but engaging with the delights of solid motion post-bowel op is not one of them!
Love,
Gerald.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Vision is not enough ...
... it must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps, we must step up the stairs. Francis Bacon.
Still aiming for Gerald to step up the stairs at home within a couple of days.
Following a great outpouring of ...well... sevradol, tramadol and panadol, Gerald is "a few steps down", he says, in terms of pain, and more comfortable.
I left him watching Amadeus at his request after forcefeeding him at least a square centimetre or so of corned beef in a trillion small bites.
You can tell I am a very patient person (bursts of incredulous laughter cut in rudely).
It's just lucky I've been the invalid plenty of times, so I get some of what it's like.
I apologise you have another post from me but I am now back home and need to ring Vodafone tomorrow.
Our key modem/Vodem has decided it has reached its data download limits, but cunningly will not tell me for what.
The session? The day? The month? The century?
Therefore Gerald can't post from hospital till I convince someone to do something different.
My entrepreneurial moment - of considering getting Vodafone to provide us free data - seemed like a good plan for someone with energy (not me right now!)
Conducting a business meeting with Australian colleagues in an empty hospital whanau room via Skype over a Vodafone wireless modem seemed like it might be a nice advertisement for them?
Anyhow, must be bedtime for Alexander so that I can give sleeping another go too, real soon now.
L
Still aiming for Gerald to step up the stairs at home within a couple of days.
Following a great outpouring of ...well... sevradol, tramadol and panadol, Gerald is "a few steps down", he says, in terms of pain, and more comfortable.
I left him watching Amadeus at his request after forcefeeding him at least a square centimetre or so of corned beef in a trillion small bites.
You can tell I am a very patient person (bursts of incredulous laughter cut in rudely).
It's just lucky I've been the invalid plenty of times, so I get some of what it's like.
I apologise you have another post from me but I am now back home and need to ring Vodafone tomorrow.
Our key modem/Vodem has decided it has reached its data download limits, but cunningly will not tell me for what.
The session? The day? The month? The century?
Therefore Gerald can't post from hospital till I convince someone to do something different.
My entrepreneurial moment - of considering getting Vodafone to provide us free data - seemed like a good plan for someone with energy (not me right now!)
Conducting a business meeting with Australian colleagues in an empty hospital whanau room via Skype over a Vodafone wireless modem seemed like it might be a nice advertisement for them?
Anyhow, must be bedtime for Alexander so that I can give sleeping another go too, real soon now.
L
Time out of time
"A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours."
In any normal circumstance, I think J B Priestly was on the mark; however right now Gerald's rather sorry haze isn't holiday-inducing!
The point is:
For anyone checking this blog, this afternoon wouldn't be a good time to visit.
If you were thinking of coming this evening, do just txt or ring me (021 606 115) first in case Gerald has improved by then.
Thanks all
L
In any normal circumstance, I think J B Priestly was on the mark; however right now Gerald's rather sorry haze isn't holiday-inducing!
The point is:
For anyone checking this blog, this afternoon wouldn't be a good time to visit.
If you were thinking of coming this evening, do just txt or ring me (021 606 115) first in case Gerald has improved by then.
Thanks all
L
No longer in Kansas
I seem to have accidentally taken on Gerald's identity in my last post and confused people well.
Don't feel bad, though, Mike and Andy ;-)
Dontcha think I know any Lou Reed?
There must be a good use for that trick. It probably requires being out of line-of-sight, though ...
We're wondering whether Gerald will get to go home tomorrow.
It depends on how he adapts to being off the epidural (just switched off a couple of hours ago).
L
Don't feel bad, though, Mike and Andy ;-)
Dontcha think I know any Lou Reed?
There must be a good use for that trick. It probably requires being out of line-of-sight, though ...
We're wondering whether Gerald will get to go home tomorrow.
It depends on how he adapts to being off the epidural (just switched off a couple of hours ago).
L
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Magic and Loss
(get it? get it?)
I feel most proud of my modern musical allusion, hence the need to draw attention to it.
It's pretty wierd, this public life, already ...
I feel most proud of my modern musical allusion, hence the need to draw attention to it.
It's pretty wierd, this public life, already ...
"All Tomorrow's Parties"
The great thing about the surgery is that I don't have a sore tummy any more!
I know I have complained about the hospital food in the past, and compared to the Eggs Benedict I snaffled half of at Orvieto it's not great, but I have to confess that the roast pork with gravy, beans and apple sauce was very nice.
As I finished my dinner, Bert Wong told me some of the history of his family, which was highly interesting - 8 children in his family, of whom he is the youngest.
The conversations with all visitors and the messages etc. have been great...
Everything from the small and trivial to the large and lofty.
Hopefully I will be released on Tuesday, and then the jam sessions can begin for anyone who would like to swing by with an instrument (voice is an instrument).
I will post the time of release up when I know it.
Much love to all,
Gerald.
I know I have complained about the hospital food in the past, and compared to the Eggs Benedict I snaffled half of at Orvieto it's not great, but I have to confess that the roast pork with gravy, beans and apple sauce was very nice.
As I finished my dinner, Bert Wong told me some of the history of his family, which was highly interesting - 8 children in his family, of whom he is the youngest.
The conversations with all visitors and the messages etc. have been great...
Everything from the small and trivial to the large and lofty.
Hopefully I will be released on Tuesday, and then the jam sessions can begin for anyone who would like to swing by with an instrument (voice is an instrument).
I will post the time of release up when I know it.
Much love to all,
Gerald.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Another Saturday Night...
Gerald here at 7.18pm NZ time. For some reason the times of posting seem to be American Pacific or something like that.....
It's been a fairly quiet day today...Lois was in early, then left around midday, after my epic shower (first one this week so I suppose "debut" is also appropriate.
Our friend Andrew stayed and gave me a very good shave too, so I felt very refreshed after all that.
I have had probably "just enough" visitors so far - not so many that it becomes like Auckland traffic at 5pm on a Friday, but not so few as to make me wonder if I smell...
I am currently "at peace", comfortable and pretty relaxed, given the shocks of the last few days. I have an overwhelming sense of God holding me very tightly and securely in His arms, and nothing can take that away.
Psalm 23 is stuck in my brain and heart at the moment,more powerful than any cancerous tumour...spiritually, that is.
Thank you all for your messages of faith, hope and love...every one of them treasured by me.
Goodnight!
p.s. did you spot the Cat Stevens quote???
It's been a fairly quiet day today...Lois was in early, then left around midday, after my epic shower (first one this week so I suppose "debut" is also appropriate.
Our friend Andrew stayed and gave me a very good shave too, so I felt very refreshed after all that.
I have had probably "just enough" visitors so far - not so many that it becomes like Auckland traffic at 5pm on a Friday, but not so few as to make me wonder if I smell...
I am currently "at peace", comfortable and pretty relaxed, given the shocks of the last few days. I have an overwhelming sense of God holding me very tightly and securely in His arms, and nothing can take that away.
Psalm 23 is stuck in my brain and heart at the moment,more powerful than any cancerous tumour...spiritually, that is.
Thank you all for your messages of faith, hope and love...every one of them treasured by me.
Goodnight!
p.s. did you spot the Cat Stevens quote???
Which is the real world?
Whilst Gerald, in theory, is the centre of the known universe right now ...
(loud protests off stage "Waddaya mean, in theory?")
Sophie has a birthday, and this is cool.
9 of her friends (at last count) are currently creating gently giggly 12 and 13 year old girl mayhem, and will continue to do so here for the next 19 or so hours (not that I'm counting :-)).
And Alexander's cousin has a birthday party sleepover elsewhere for 14 year old boys, which I think has got to be worse. Good luck Heather and Tim!
Better go drop Alexander off, leaving the girls to their own devices VERY BRIEFLY (capitalised for any parents reading this).
... making predictions has turned out to be very difficult, particularly about the future.
Hmmm... I'm thinking I need a code sign on this blog which means "look for the joke in what I just wrote", as sometimes my humour gets overly dry or overly black.
I haven't thought of it yet, I'll let you know when I do. (suggestions welcome)
(loud protests off stage "Waddaya mean, in theory?")
Sophie has a birthday, and this is cool.
9 of her friends (at last count) are currently creating gently giggly 12 and 13 year old girl mayhem, and will continue to do so here for the next 19 or so hours (not that I'm counting :-)).
And Alexander's cousin has a birthday party sleepover elsewhere for 14 year old boys, which I think has got to be worse. Good luck Heather and Tim!
Better go drop Alexander off, leaving the girls to their own devices VERY BRIEFLY (capitalised for any parents reading this).
... making predictions has turned out to be very difficult, particularly about the future.
Hmmm... I'm thinking I need a code sign on this blog which means "look for the joke in what I just wrote", as sometimes my humour gets overly dry or overly black.
I haven't thought of it yet, I'll let you know when I do. (suggestions welcome)
Friends from afar
I was overjoyed this morning to read that our close friends in England, Richard and Ruth Dormandy, are planning to come over in May.
This should be a great time of reunion and preparation for whatever needs to be prepared for.
Meanwhile, I am getting texts from my students to not worry about them - they have "everything under control".
As to the psalms - I have recorded 10 so far, so have 140 to go - wouldn't it be great to get them done before I move on?
This should be a great time of reunion and preparation for whatever needs to be prepared for.
Meanwhile, I am getting texts from my students to not worry about them - they have "everything under control".
As to the psalms - I have recorded 10 so far, so have 140 to go - wouldn't it be great to get them done before I move on?
Saturday
Still in hospital.
The way people treat you makes a big difference.
Some nurses/orderlies really have the magic/skills to help you enjoy the time - others are very poor communicatorsnwho seem to treat you like a hindrance.
Yesterday was heavy traffic - loads of visitors, which I really enjoyed.
I like seeing the interactions between 2 disparate parties, both of whom I know from different contexts.
This is a "pilot" message - no doubt as time goes by, refinement may creep into it all.
The way people treat you makes a big difference.
Some nurses/orderlies really have the magic/skills to help you enjoy the time - others are very poor communicatorsnwho seem to treat you like a hindrance.
Yesterday was heavy traffic - loads of visitors, which I really enjoyed.
I like seeing the interactions between 2 disparate parties, both of whom I know from different contexts.
This is a "pilot" message - no doubt as time goes by, refinement may creep into it all.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Golly ...
What a difference a day makes!
Sometimes.
4 days in a row can get too hot to handle.
What we gonna do now?
Wait. Live.
A few facts:
Wait. Listen. Learn. Absorb, feel and think.
This is Lois .... Here comes Gerald posting next ...
Vive la difference - hopefully it'll make this blog fun.
Sometimes.
4 days in a row can get too hot to handle.
What we gonna do now?
Wait. Live.
A few facts:
- Feeling ill with abdominal pain for 2 weeks, Gerald had a colonoscopy Monday. The Kleenprep was obviously from an off-year, not a great vintage, he kept complaining about it.
- A very proactive GP (John Russell) got Gerald admitted straight to hospital on the strength of the colonoscopy results.
- Which had showed a large but not complete bowel obstruction, likely cancerous. Where did that spring from?
- The CT scan performed the next day showed (we were informed Wednesday morning) that cancer had spread to multiple sites in the liver, possibly further, and was therefore inoperable - at least till after 5 months or so intensive chemo, which sometimes works to make operation possible at that point.
- Being off work for 6 months - every uninspired, uninvolved, lethargic person's dream, I guess. Does not apply.
- The operation to remove the bowel tumour was Thursday.
- Biopsy results will not be available for a week or so.
- The operation gave the surgeons a chance for a look around. Unfortunately this vantage point showed more stuff. In the mmm perineum? Showing cancer had spread through the lining of the bowel, to other sites.
Wait. Listen. Learn. Absorb, feel and think.
This is Lois .... Here comes Gerald posting next ...
Vive la difference - hopefully it'll make this blog fun.
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